Hunt for the Secret Hidey Place of Nice Boys
POSTED BY: mai
UPDATED: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 17:49
VIEWED: 58403
PAGE 22 of 28
Good suggestions on places to look for guys! A guy at comicon tried to talk to me but I got nervous. Oh! And to guys who want to know how not to approach a girl in public. I was sitting alone and this guy started out with questions like "Are you here alone? Where are you staying? Are you here alone?" etc. I don't really want a random guy knowing this kind of information when we've just exchanged names. You know, in case he's a serial murderer or a stalker. I would ask her how many panels she's seen and what she thinks of them and what brings her to comicon. But I digress.
We should swap guys if you ever are unattached again. You tend to run into guys that don't want kids; I tend to run into guys who do. In fact, one of the guys that I didn't marry wanted a bakers dozen. But you might not want that many. You can always correct me if I'm wrong and I can get you his number. He's a good looking, honest, hardworking man who gets along with his family and lives in a house overlooking the ocean in Malibu.
"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals."--George Mikes
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I'm having fun with this thread. 
BlackEyedGirl, I think you rock! You seem like a woman I could be friends with. And that's saying a lot, because most women confuse and/or annoy me. I can't relate to them on a fundamental level...most women have been dreaming about having kids since they WERE kids, and went as little brides on Halloween, and got a subscription to Brides magazine in the 8th grade, and have had their weddings planned down to every detail except for the actual identity of the groom since they were 14 (I'm totally serious...my roommate in college was like this.) I simply cannot understand/relate to this world view. And most women are so freakin' irrational it scares me. Women who are SO into drama and gossip and innuendo. I don't give a rat's ass what other people are doing, who's dating who, what other folks are saying about me, etc. I think gossip is destructive, and I can't stand women who live to collect little nasty bits of information about everyone around them.
This, I think, is why I've always had more guy friends than girl friends. Guys find me very easy to relate to, talk to, etc. It's the power tools, plus I don't give off that vibe of "I'm trying to picture you in a tux, standing behind our wedding cake" every time I talk to them.
So...I'll ask the emotionally mature, intelligent, single, non-man-whorish guys on this list...do you secretly like "typical females?" Do women like me (and BlackEyedGirl and others) actually frighten and intimidate you? Do you really prefer clingy and helpless, as long as she looks good naked?
Inquiring minds want to know!!! 
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It's my job to incite powerful yearning in the hearts and loins of my clients. No, silly, I'm not a Companion...I work at an advertising agency.
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I'm at home or at work or at Browncoat get togethers in Los Angeles.
I don't go to bars anymore. Too many jerks. I don't go to church because I don't fit into any one branch of Christianity and yet they care about whether or not you believe what they believe about Christ. I don't go to clubs because I don't like to dance. At least, not that way. I like ballroom and swing dancing.
So, that's where I am and I'm a nice woman. I hope that I gave you some ideas Monkeytail.
"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals."--George Mikes
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Quote:
I know I'm an extreme case, but I think dating without the intention of ultimate commitment is trite and meaningless. It's hard for me to stomach. Now, I'm not saying that you go on every date with the intention that you're going to marry this person, but if after a reasonable amount of time you know that's something that is not in the future you share, it's time for it to be over. That's just how I feel about it.
I share your perspective as far as my life goes, but I think the underlying principle is that people need to be on the same page regarding this. Marriage, like having children, is something most people want, but some aren't really concerned with - I don't see how that's a problem, as long as both people in the relationship are open with themselves and each other about their expectations.
Boarding another train of thought....
I'm generally a big fan of individual responsibility, but I think that societal expectations regarding sex really mess up relationships, especially for younger people. Whether XG was being serious or not, there is an expectation that men just want to "get some" - a lot of social groups offer negative reinforcement for males who violate this, and that's really sad. On the other hand, a lot of (and frequently the same) social groups label women "whores" who sleep with any guy before getting married. I don't think either extreme is appropriate, and I think this adds a lot of tension to our already complicated and stressful romantic lives.
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Here's another joke for you or anyone else who needs a laugh. It depends on how you feel about kids knowing words that they really shouldn't at such a young age.
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried
to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class,
"And what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said,
"I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
Har. har. har. 
"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals."--George Mikes
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I'm definitely a goal-driven dater. I want to find the love of my life. I have plenty of other things that I'm busy with (professional associations, volunteer work, swing dancing, sci-fi cons, etc.) and if I'm going to take time out of my schedule, I'm not going to spend it dating a fundamentalist Christian or somebody who wants 8 kids or is a member of the Communist party or is a Star Wars fan who didn't want to see Serenity out of "loyalty" to their fandom. DUH! I'm an agnostic Libertarian who can't have kids, and the whole Serenity thing goes without saying, so why would I date a guy with whom I'm fundamentally incompatible? It would be a waste of my time and his, and there's always the danger that you'd actually fall in love with each other, and what does that get you? Heartbreak due to irreconcilable differences.
Plus, while you're busy dating someone who's just not right for you, Mr. I Really Am Right For You could walk on by when he sees you with some other guy and assumes you're unavailable.
I have a very scientific mind and I think of dating in the same way I think of most other things...goal orientation, return on investment, methodically, rationally working toward what I want. It's dreadfully un-girly.
Quote:
Originally posted by LfO: I know I'm an extreme case, but I think dating without the intention of ultimate commitment is trite and meaningless. It's hard for me to stomach.
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It's my job to incite powerful yearning in the hearts and loins of my clients. No, silly, I'm not a Companion...I work at an advertising agency.
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one more joke
a little girl walks into a pet shop. she's about seven and speaks with the most adorable lisp. she goes up to the clerk and asks if he has any mice.
the man bends down and asks her if she'd like a brown mice, a tan one a white one a black one a mixed one etc.. his generally condesending manner gets on the child's nerves and she explains
"i don't think my python really gives a fuck."
my math teacher told me that one!
oh and i went to a dating forum (like the kind with real people) last sunday and the guy there was really insightful and went over the whole history of dating and where women stood (one book he recommended was 'from the front porch to the backseat')
one interesting fact- 1/3 of people who will marry aren't by the age of 35. so it's not a matter of 'never' its a matter of 'soon'!
but then i'm 17, so i guess i don't get most of it. but hey it's allowed.
shakespeare: more words than God.
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Quote:
Originally posted by BlackEyedGirl:
LightMeDark: I totally agree with you on the 'either you know you will be together or not.'
...
Don't discount women who have slept around. I have slept with people I didn't love, but all of them still meant something to me. Then again I've never had a one night stand so I'm probably in the minority. I've slept with my friends (who then became lovers) but that doesn't make me slutty cos they were important men to me, and still are. One of them just broke my heart and I'm still friends with him cos if that's all I can have I guess it'll have to be enough. So I'm glad you are getting over judging this cos a lot of times girls get suckered into sleeping with guys (it happens, even to the smart ones), or think that putting out will get them somewhere with a man when it doesn't. It doesn't mean they were whores.
I am trying to change as I said, but it is incredibly hard. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around. There are so many parts to this I don't really know where to begin or if I even should. I think, in part, it comes down to me being a jealous person. Say, if I were to date you I'd find it extremely difficult to handle you having almost all male friends (especially knowing you've slept with them in the past before they were more than friends). To me it seems like I would be setting myself up for hurt because a repeat performance can't be far off. As I see there being nothing worse in this world that one can do to another than cheat on them (besides obvious things like killing, etc.), I think that's a big part of it. If one has slept with another they didn't have feelings of love with before I feel it's inevitably going to happen again. It's as if sex was more important than love (now I know sex is important, for all my eccentricity, I am most definitely male and sex does cross my mind as constantly as any woman has ever suspected). And this all ties in with drugs/alcohol because that usually encourages such behavior or inebriates you to the point you are indiscriminate. There are volumes more I could put forth on the subject (thank goodness for friends willing to listen to your blathering), but I think I've said enough to give a rough impression of where I stand.
Quote:
Originally posted by monkeytail:
just trying to bring a little levity to the thread, also its not false modesty
i'm an ok guy, but i'm known to be a self-serving a**hole, i just don't reviere myself enough to think i'm a great catch
Haha, I was also trying to bring levity...I was messing with you hence the :p. I think it's worth a mention that I do (most of the time) feel like I'm a great catch, yet I don't really revere myself at all. I think the only thing I take satisfaction in is my loyalty, honesty, and strict adherence to what I believe.
Quote:
Originally posted by KayleeWannabee:
This, I think, is why I've always had more guy friends than girl friends. Guys find me very easy to relate to, talk to, etc. It's the power tools, plus I don't give off that vibe of "I'm trying to picture you in a tux, standing behind our wedding cake" every time I talk to them.
It's true, every woman I've asked on the subject of whether they prefer to work with males or females invariably answers male. My last job was in a department full of women (I was one of the only males, often the only male on my shift...not an enviable position as some men with no experience of it might think ;D). The backstabbing and gossip and just general unpleasantness was rather harsh, not to mention the odd fact that a large group of women working together usually get on the same "schedule" if you follow me. That was always a bad time of month. I would have been destroyed, surely, if I had not been so loved and adored by my coworkers.
Quote:
So...I'll ask the emotionally mature, intelligent, single, non-man-whorish guys on this list...do you secretly like "typical females?" Do women like me (and BlackEyedGirl and others) actually frighten and intimidate yNOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:Sounds sexy to me.
Originally posted by KayleeWannabee:
I have a very scientific mind and I think of dating in the same way I think of most other things...goal orientation, return on investment, methodically, rationally working toward what I want. It's dreadfully un-girly.
Okay, my last two cents to this thread, and seriously.
Girls, be friendly. Get to know everyone. Talk A LOT. Make tons of guy-friends. A lot of times, guys who likes you might introduce you to guys they think could LOVE you (this assumes you make tons of NICE guy-friends).
Hot burns out fast. Long lasting love starts with friendship.
(Same advise for guys-reversed. Same advise for gay guys and girls-just, er, sorta put it on it's side....you know what I mean...)
Chrisisall, Dear Abby in space
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Ignore this post it's long and boring:
KayleeWannabee wrote:
Quote:
So...I'll ask the emotionally mature, intelligent, single, non-man-whorish guys on this list...do you secretly like "typical females?" Do women like me (and BlackEyedGirl and others) actually frighten and intimidate you? Do you really prefer clingy and helpless, as long as she looks good naked?
...
Well..I think I qualify except maybe occassionally on the first point. The majority of "typical females" bore me. The few that don't, show some indication that they aren't completely "typical". Knowing only what I've read here and a bit on BEGs blog, No. Not Frightening. Clingy and helpless? Not appealing. I'm looking for a "partner in crime." One that will share in or at least tolerate my interests. She won't worry when I go to the pub, that maybe I'm doing something I shouldn't. Mainly 'Cause she'll be sitting beside me pounding away the pints with me. She won't worry when I'm with my friends cause she'll know them too. We don't have to do everything together, we trust when we're not together. I don't cheat. I feel that if you love someone, you don't think of others that way. If you start thinking of someone else that way, you aren't loving the person you're "with". You should let them know it's over before you move on.
I agree on the points made about "wasting time" dating people that you aren't into. I'm alone. not lonely. Used to be. I spent a lot of time "looking". I've only met a small number of people that I was really "into". And a very small number of them were into me. Finding a match as far as being "into" each other is tough, being compatible in interests in addition to that makes things even tougher. I think too many people "settle" or get together for the wrong reason. I don't want to make that mistake. I may die a single, never married, very alone person. At least I won't have wasted someone else's time being in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship.
So, "Typical female"? no thanks. I'm not a typical male. What would I Want with a typical female? I want a relationship (If I find someone compatible) not a role in the life game.
As for previous statements of guys only wanting one thing...Again not a typical male. Now to be fair, and honest, sure that's wanted, but as part of the package deal. That's a part of a romantic relationship. It's a part that shouldn't be ignored, neglected, and should be openly discussed and explored. It's not the only part. I'm selfish. I want the whole relationship, not just a part. Having just one part without the rest makes the whole thing hollow. Not fun.
Sorry for the longwinded boring stuff.
Best of luck to all Browncoats in finding the one.
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