Hunt for the Secret Hidey Place of Nice Boys
POSTED BY: mai
UPDATED: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 17:49
VIEWED: 58403
PAGE 19 of 28
Oye this thread has taken some crazy and unforseen turns!
Serenity, First Officer of Destiny
I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
The opposite sex (in addition to proving itself inferior again and again) is insanely annoying.
Think that probably qualifies as a very unisex statement. Genderless. True.
I resort to my previous argument. Honesty. Blunt, brutal, ruthless truth at all times under all circumstances regarding all subjects.
XG
or else (divorce, financial complications, years of precious lifespan wasted, children w/out parental control, stigma of having children and being someone's "ex", etc.)
No such thing as gravity. The "Earth-that-was" just sucks.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
and PS...
if that kind of honesty would doom the relationship, then it's doomed already. You're just buying time.
XG
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Is it wrong that I think you're right XG??
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
http://pluralofapocalypse.blogspot.com
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Inara: "Do aliens live among us?"
Kaylee: "Yes. One of them's a doctor."
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Originally posted by XeroGravity:
and PS...
if that kind of honesty would doom the relationship, then it's doomed already. You're just buying time.
XG
There's a difference between being honest and being just plain mean.
Serenity, First Officer of Destiny
I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
I wondered if anyone else is getting a lot of questions about why they aren't married from coworkers, friends and family? Also, are they running into a lot of assumptions that they must be desperate to marry anybody who will ask from these sources? 
Since turning thirty eleven months ago, I am suddenly dealing with both of these questions a lot and they both drive me crazy because they lead to assumptions like there is something wrong with you if you are not married and if you are not married after the age of twenty-nine you must be so desperate that you would marry anyone.
In my case, I could've been married twice, to two different men, both of whom weren't compatible with me and were hoping that I would change in some significant way after marriage, which is why I turned them down. One thought that I would convert to his religion and the other thought that I would decide to have the dozen kids that he wanted. If they showed up again, still single and willing to marry me and still expecting me to change, I would turn them down again for the same reasons that I did previously. Kind of blows holes in the whole woman who isn't married, therefore must have something wrong with her and be desperate enough to marry anyone who asks theory. That inevitably follows on the heels of the aforementioned questions from coworkers, friends and family.
Honestly, if Mr. Right never shows up, I am going to be happier living single with my beloved pets, teaching the kids at school and volunteering on weekends at the ASPCA.
"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals."--George Mikes
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
One of my seventh graders at school told me a very cute joke.
Q: If you're American when you're in the bathroom and American when you're out, what are you when you're inside the bathroom?
Select to view spoiler:
A: European. (You're a peein'.)
Har, har, har.
For you KayleeWannabe and everyone else who needs a joke!
"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals."--George Mikes
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
A difference between being honest and being mean. It's all relative. Two examples of this as I've seen it play out in the lives of people I know...
Example 1:
I wrapped my legs around my husband's best friend and best man at his wedding because he made me feel neglected, didn't satisfy my emotional needs, was bad in bed, etc.
Example 2:
I slept with my wife's little sister because she was getting older and uglier, the sex was routine and the thrill was just gone, and I needed a little variety.
2 very real excuses I've heard. I also heard it justified by the offenders with the argument that to tell them their spouse the truth would have been mean. It would have been cruel to be so blunt and upfront. Doesn't have to be wives and husbands. Can be boyfriends, girlfriends, significant others, etc.
What's more mean? Telling them "your" truth upfront and avoiding a future of humiliating misery, or sparing their feelings and visiting cruelty like that on them later? All because you couldn't tell them how you feel and deal with it (or break the deal).
They will find out. They always find out. They sense it. Later, they get it confirmed for sure.
Blunt, brutal honesty. Like I said before, being happy in a relationship has nothing to do with being "nice". Nice guys always finish last.
Be honest. Be mean. Only thing that works.
XG
No such thing as gravity. The "Earth-that-was" just sucks.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:
I'm an a$$hole.
Maybe you are, but you're our a$$hole and we love you for it.
www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:
LightMeDark (a stagecraft reference?)
Nope, actually a reference to Me being caught between the light and the dark in all things (i could assert that I am in fact two people, both equally extreme...one conservative and one liberal. I often find myself with two completely opposite views on the same subject, like say abortion or assisted suicide, or drugs/alcohol and sex. each half is obviously irrevocably at odds with the other. At least one side wins out more than the other in the struggle for control) I also assert that light or dark is a matter of perspective. What is seen as good could someday be seen in a negative light, then again seen as an act of sainthood at another time.
Quote:
There are things we cannot change about ourselves. I'm not talking about genetically determined factors like our race or gender
Ah, but the things I speak of are things that I can change as they are only matters of how I perceive. My biggest hurdles (aside from the obvious things out of my control (and some in my control but will be saved for later conversation)) are my views on relationships/sex and drugs/alcohol, which, admittedly, I take more than one side on.
Quote:
The good news is that I can also be totally withdrawn and uncommunicative, to the point that it hurts other people's feelings.
Haha, this reminds me of the other night. I don't really care to go out to the bars, but my cousin who I consider a brother and is one of the most important people in my life loves to, so I humor him and occasionally enjoy it. This night I wasn't really liking it whatsoever, so I was in bad spirits. One of his female friends from work kept yelling at me and calling me unsociable because I hadn't said a single word to her (or almost anyone there). Towards the end of the evening she demanded to know why I was silent to which I almost replied that it was because I didn't like her, but I figure it would annoy her more for me to just remain silent...so I did. I'm rarely if ever mean, but I definitely was then. I could only take so much abuse.
My dad has a hard time with this. I can be incredibly talkative, but often I'm silent. When I go to my parents house for dinner and TV my dad's temper flares sometimes because I won't say much of anything. He just doesn't understand silence. I always tell him that it's a mark of how comfortable I am around him that I don't need to fill the gaps with useless words.
Quote:
Which brings up the last invaluable tool. I forgive myself for being fallible. I know I'm trying my best -- on most days -- so I don't beat myself up for being an a$$hole. But forgiveness is a two-way street. If we want it for ourselves, we must be willing to give it to everyone else we meet, too. Slip into their moccassins and see if they're not just like you: lost and confused, and simply trying to find their way in the darkness.
I find it hard to forgive my own shortcomings. I'm rather ruthless about it. I'm tormented by not being "good enough" at anything I'm doing. I've never really been a competitive person, but I think deep down I am. Even when I do "well" at something I am often disappointed in myself for not being better.
However, I find it very easy to forgive others and their shortcomings. That whole you must love yourself first bit annoys me. I have little love for myself, but I have an overwhelming amount of love for others. Self love doesn't get in the way for me.
Quote:
So, take heart brother. You don't have to tear yourself down in hopes of becoming perfect. Attaining perfection is a fool's goal, anyway; even the orbit of the planets isn't perfect and the Earth wobbles on its axis. Striving for perfection makes us 'good men' and 'good women'. Remember: You are sufficient for the world from the day you are born, and it for you.
One of the things that has gotten me through is the idea of perfect imperfection. Without it I may have gone completel
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME