Title: Faith

Author: Ana Sedai

Rating: PG-13 for graphic war images and language

Character(s): Mal

Prompt: 008 – Hate

Word Count: 695

Author’s Note: Seventh for Joss100. It’s not Mal/River, but it explains a bit about Mal, and why he is the way he is.

Source Note: I paraphrased the last lines of the story from another source. They hit me hard the first time I heard them, and it seemed appropriate to put them here.

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Zoë knew the whole truth, but she’d never brought it up, and never would. Shepherd had had some inkling. Maybe more than an inkling, but he’d never let on. No one else had the first clue, other than the fact that mentioning God with him in earshot triggered his temper but good. They assumed it was because he thought belief in God was foolish and silly, and as such had no place on the ship.

Well, they had it wrong. He wished they didn’t. It would’ve been easier.

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The call to surrender the Valley had been a blow. A big one. They’d fought so hard for so many days. Surely it couldn’t take much to finish the job? Seeing Angels of Death disguised as Alliance battleships spew forth fire and brimstone on his men had been an even bigger blow. But a lifetime of faith in a just and merciful God is not wiped out in an instant, no matter how dire the circumstances. It takes much longer, and is infinitely more painful.

Instead of surrendering as ordered, he and Zoë scrounged up as many as could still fight, or at least walk on their own, and set up at the head of the canyon, the narrowest part. A hundred men could hold against a few thousand there. All they had to do was hang on a little while longer. The war wasn’t over, not by a long shot. When the Independents finished kicking the Alliance’s ass elsewhere, they’d come back and help retake the Valley. Wouldn’t look good to give up and miss the victory party, now would it?

At first