MIA chap4
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
If the hovercraft hadn’t come to a screaming halt in time the vehicle woulda plowed straight into it and rolled into a tumbling mess. Genius idea, the Captain of Serenity thought to himself, giving the miner credit.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 2441 RATING: 0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
MIA part 4
--------------- Double Vision --------------
Malcolm Reynolds entered the bunk of the big man on Serenity and saw him sitting there. Not that Jayne Cobb minded, he only wished that the Captain had announced himself first, instead of just hacking a little cough. Wasn’t polite just to enter a man’s abode without letting him know.
Mal had actually cleared his throat in order not to surprise the big mercenary. It was custom for folk to do that instead of just barging in on someone. Besides, he didn’t want to be surprised himself by seeing Jayne handling his weapon, one that wasn’t on the wall???!!!
“Jayne, what you got there?”
The big merc was on the cortex in his bunk.
“Hey Mal, I was just receiving some info about the platinum shipment out on Shiloh.”
Mal looked at the screen. He saw the head and shoulders of a guy standing there. Although Mal had never met Cody, the guy looked nothing like Jayne.
“ I see the family resemblance,” the Captain muttered, his lips curling into a little smart-ass grin. Jayne looked at Mal.
“ That ain’t my cousin! That’s somebody named Tony Jeebs. Cody knows better than to broadcast Intel over the cortex like that. Their waves are monitored after all. Can’t be a security guard if’n you aren’t willing to give up some of your freedoms,” Jayne said, then continued.
“ No, this guy is a miner out at the Absolution Prairie Mine, where they store the platinum before it’s carried over to the bank in town. He’s the middle man, the guy Cody is going through. Still, he’s got to be careful himself. Lots of suspicion going around a little town that has a big secret. Jeebs could get himself in a whole lot of trouble. Anyway, we still good to go with my plan?”
“ Yeah, so far,” Mal said, “ We’re still some time away from Shiloh. What makes you think that we can still do this once we get there?”
“ Cody tells me that these shipments come out about once every month. This one‘s already over, but we can get the next. He’ll let us know if things c
I’m glad that you seem to be enjoying the story so far. I’m not certain, but I think chap 5 will likely be the last chapter of this story arc. I usually don’t like to extend my fiction tales longer than 5-8 chapters. I prefer in chopping them up into little segments. That way if someone comes along and wants to read a story, the journey isn‘t that long to catch up. Just how I like to do it.
Anyhoo, not sure if you see it coming, but there will be a really big surprise at the end of chap 5. Hope you stay tuned for it.
Also, I’m not getting what you mean about typos? If it’s spelling errors and such, I usually have several of those. Even after reading it a few times over. Or even the way I would handle things differently. If by “Typos” you mean something about the USS Ajax, or the scars on Lieutenant Gardner, I’m not sure I’m getting that.
Anyway, elaborate if you want to. I like to fix mistakes…. Helps for better writing in the future.
See ya, BPZ
This... Not gonna end well.
"A scar that had heeled over time,"--"healed" unless there's a foot involved :-)
Cheers
Thanks for your comments my friend! BPZ
*********
Also to address another statement brought up by eb before. Yepper, Mal thought he was being polite and proper,……but the big mercenary misses those sorts of clues at times.
Jayne is an ingenious and complex character, and Adam played him to perfection. That’s why he’s so fun to write.
MIA #5- the Final will be up in a day or two. Hope folk like it…BPZ
I guess while in prison, a kick to the face, and one could almost call that a “heeled scar” ….couldn’t you say? …lol…..only joking with ya!
Also, where does one go when purchasing old, used, surplus, army goods? “Auction Block” may have been a bad choice to express how she did it. “Auction Market” may be better, yet there may be something even better….
Thanks for the feedback. It is exactly what I need to help improve on a story. Hope I do better in the next & final chapter.
The crits are very welcome, eb, Byte & Brewster…..Till next episode take care.
BPZ out!
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