So far – Monty has met the young Sergeant Reynolds and we’ve seen the destruction of the Sanchez Bros during the Operative’s hunt for Mal. Oh and Bridget came and swept him off his feet.

- part two -

“Tell me again what an important statement we’re making… and how the cultured inhabitants of this world cannot possibly fail to be moved – even to tears because, well, there will be tears soon anyway, tears which will be MINE! WHY ARE WE DOING THIS CAPTAIN?! ”

Having his head in the stocks prevented him from looking directly at Malcolm Reynolds – but nonetheless Hoban Washburne’s wildly bugging eyes managed to crawl around the reddening face to decent glaring effect.

Mal shrugged. Even in stocks the man can shrug , thought Wash helplessly as another egg landed with yellow abandon just above his nose.

“And what kind of kwong-run place still uses the stocks anyway?” Wash continued rhetorically, “and what kind of vile Gao yang takes advantage of “ -

A particularly florid salvo of tomatoes interrupted him, this time coating both men equally – and both men looked up and both men yelled the same five-letter word. “ Jayne! ”

“Just blendin’ in”, Jayne Cobb hissed, over the frayed collar of his khaki combat jacket – and fortunately for him, unheard by the obligatory angry mob stood with eggs and sundry vegetables to pelt and busy yelling out its hatred. “Yeah!” Jayne chimed in unrepentently. “Damn Brownies!”

“Hey, Y’know I might be actually starting to like Unification Day”, he added.

For a moment his two shipmates were speechless – then there was another splattering attack and Wash couldn’t help but note dryly, “Mmm, turnip! – There was some fish before – y’know I haven’t eaten this well since we last - ”

There was an audible CLANG!

“ – What was? – Was that a horseshoe? Tyen shiao duh! What can they possibly throw next?!”

There was a splintering crash as a squat but rotund man landed smack on Mal’s position. “Oh,” said Wash, “right