Blue Sun Room FICTION - ADVENTURE

Nothing Ventured... - Ch. 3

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Just another face in the crowd...

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3607    RATING: 9.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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EXT. TOWN - ROOFTOP

Paul sits cross-legged at the edge of the roof, hands resting on his knees, eyes closed. A deep frown creases his features.

Slow zoom into close-up of his face. His eyes pop open as a yell is heard distantly off-screen. He almost appears to levitate to his feet from his sitting position. Paul cocks his head, ear turned toward the yell.

With a whip of his coat, he turns and sprints toward the far edge of the roof.

* * *

INT. OLD SHOP

Mal walks about, looking closely at a few more devices. His face belies frustration.

MAL - Maybe you can help.

He turns to the old man, pulling a small object from his pocket. He holds it up for the man to see.

MAL - Think you have the tech’, matches this?

The old man gestures and Mal hands him the object. It looks like an advanced micro-cassette.

SHOPKEEPER - Ya know, I just might. Wait right here.

The old man steps through an open door behind the counter. We hear rummaging OS. Mal glances around as if at a loss.

SHOPKEEPER (VO) - A-ha! I knew it.

The Shopkeeper re-enters, a small tape-recorder in hand. He blows a bit of dust off it and hands it to Mal along with the tape.

Mal turns it over in his hands. He presses a button and the ejector panel pops open allowing Mal to easily slide the tape into the device. He looks closely at the recorder, then presses Play. The unmistakable sound of recorded silence emits from the little speaker. Mal grins and looks up at the Shopkeeper.

MAL - How much?

* * *

EXT. TOWN - ALLEY

CU of Simon’s face, pressed firmly against a brick wall.

Pull away to see Troop #1 holding Simon’s left arm twisted up into his back while he pulls a pair of heavy metal handcuffs from another pouch on his belt. With a twitch of his hand, he jerks Simon’s arm, causing him to drop the small box.

CU of box. Slo-mo drop to the snow-covered ground.

SIMON - Sir, this really isn’t necess...

Troop #1 twists further on Simon’s arm, cutting off his statement as he grimaces. W

Comments
Thursday, 21 June 2007 00:58
Well now, that action sequence just went by as slick as spit, as Kaylee would say. And I like that everyone on the crew got to participate in their adventure. Can't wait to see what Mal does in a shop full of pretties! Keep it coming!
Thursday, 21 June 2007 03:26
Great, up till Kaylee attacking the guy. Sorry, I just can't see her doing that, no matter what. Well, maybe not no matter, but he wasn't threatening Serenity, so no, I can't see it.

Other than that, very enjoyable, and that's easily overlooked amongst the great writing here!

jW
Thursday, 21 June 2007 09:08
What made this so terrific was our heroes having the backing of the crowd, so nice to see that they aren't alone and even better to have those gorram purplebellies on the losing side for once. But what did Simon drop? Ali D :~)
Youc an't take the sky from me
Thursday, 21 June 2007 14:20
That was SWEET! I don't think I want to know what happened to those troopers...Now, unless our crew can slip away (which don't look likely,) they're going to be held up by some shindig or other that the locals throw in their honor.
I also like that Inara and Simon got some play. While they're not the type to charge a fully-armed squad of Feds head on, as River does (Which was VERY cool,) they certainly would resort to violence to help their friends...it also shows how Simon is becoming Rim-ized.
Great story, as ever, and I look forward to catching up with this when I get back!

~MG
Thursday, 21 June 2007 16:54
Mal's first purchase has created more questions than answers. Once again, I am on the edge of my seat waiting for the next installment.
Thursday, 21 June 2007 23:05
Cool. Loving this story. Can't wait for the next part.
Monday, 25 June 2007 04:48
I dunno, jondesu...Kaylee is capable of violence, but very infrequently and only when provoked...like having someone shove a gun barrel to one's head and make threats. 'Sides...after Early, I imagine Kaylee not taking as much crap from people using physical force to create an advantage.

Still...this was a brilliant peice of writing here, HeWhoKicksAlot! The action was all kinds of superbly paced and crafted, the humorous moment between Mal and the shopkeeper was great and I can't wait for more;D

BEB
Friday, 06 July 2007 03:24
Yes, I am behind! What I liked best here was the way you wrote River, when she swept in to save Simon. Super visuals. I like also the contrast between the street action and Mal in the shop - I could almost hear the editing, if you know what I mean.

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