EXT. SERENITY - UNDERSIDE
Jayne struggles to hang on to Paul against the centrifugal force. He looks up and sees the cable fraying against the rear of the hatch. There’s little of it left holding them. He looks back down at Paul.
Jayne POV - sees the rip-cord on Paul's harness. He grins.
JAYNE: Change o' plan!
He reaches around and pulls the rip-cord, shoving Paul away from himself the next instant.
JAYNE: Pull me in!
Jayne watches as Paul's parachute unfurls into a beautiful blue and white cloud beneath him.
He looks up, sees the cable center itself in the hatch opening as it hauls him up.
INT. MADSEN’S POD
Madsen maneuvers the stick as he watches out the port side of the canopy.
MADSEN: Hadn’t thought of that...
INT. SERENITY - CARGO BAY
Jayne comes into view. As soon as he clears the doors, Simon hits the button to close them.
He runs up to Jayne.
SIMON (unhooking Jayne's cable): Where's Paul? What happened?
Jayne slaps Simon on the shoulder, nearly knocking him over, then runs to the fore/starboard stairs.
JAYNE (running up stairs two at a time): I opened his 'chute. Maybe we can get under 'im 'fore he splashes down. (turns his head and spits over the hand rail) Swallowed a ruttin’ bug.
INT. SERENITY - BRIDGE
River maneuvers the yoke, pushing forward on the throttle. She takes Serenity in a long loop, diving back down toward the ground.
RIVER: Captain, would you mind...?
MAL: Pokin' my head outta the topside airlock and gettin' some air? Love to.
Mal darts from the Bridge.
Follow Mal down the stairs and through the fore hall. Round the corner just past his bunk to the airlock ladder. He reaches it at the same time as Jayne.
JAYNE: I had 'im, Mal. Gorram cable almost gave... If he hits the water, he’ll sink like a stone.
MAL (places a hand on Jayne's shoulder): I know. No worries.
Mal climbs the ladder and activates the airlock.
EXT. SERENITY - TOPSIDE
Mal's head appears through the
BEB
You can't take the sky from me
Let's just take a moment to contemplate the awesomeness that we just witnessed.
...
Okay. Enough said. But I like how Jayne comes through in a tight spot and acts very practically for a man about to die. It doesn't faze him. Much. And he swallowed a bug!
I also like how Mal knows exactly what to do. Who's the psychic now, River?
Again, your writing is very easy to visualize, with enough wiggle room for our own minds insert even more coolness. I don't know about anyone else, but MY brain does whip-pans and zooms and occasionally has flares on its metaphorical lenses. It's a Zoic brain.
Well done, HeWhoKicksAlot!
~MG
Post Your Comments
You must log in to post comments.