QUICKSAND

Happy June, everybody. Summer movie season is upon us, as this first weekend, the Entirety of Movie Studios are TERRIFIED of a little arty-house movie called "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban." I'm still learnin' how these blogs work-- is it a place for conversation, or just venting?-- but I'll try the former. What movies shall tide us over until the mightiness of 'Serenity?' I mean, Harry Potter is all shiny and everything, but.... this bein' a place for space monkeys, is anyone out there jonesin' for, say, "The Chronicles of Riddick?" "I, Robot?" "Alien vs. Predator?" Not exactly Whedon-esque, but.... thoughts?

SILVERCROSS

Ok, so this is my first Blog entry, being new to the Firefly Verse and all, so forgive me if I make little sense... One thing that has been bugging me a bit is the reactions to Jayne. Now, I think he is the best character, who I'd love to see developed more in any film. But most of the fanfics I've read (and there's been a few) seem to delight in trashing his character, making everyone else hate him with a passion. Will the poor guy ever get a break?! There's been a few moments in the show which would indicate to me that he's more interesting than many give him credit for- end scene of Jaynestown for example. anyone else have an opinion/fanfic recommendation?

MAUGWAI

This rant has nothing to do with Firefly. I have a few friends from high school who I still keep up with via livejournal. Every time they post, it's some kind of compaint about how stupid all people are and how they are better than everybody on the planet. They think everyone should be fired for messing up the most insignificant things. I wonder how I was ever friends with some of these people. I posted last week that I was really excited about finally getting Buffy season 6. i was thrilled because I love the season so much. My old pal responded: "I've had my copy for months now." Once I asked him how he got all the seasons before they were released and he was all, "It's a secret. I would get in trouble if I told you." I know how he gets them. He has a DVD player that will play region 2. It's not that hard to figure out. Why is he such a jackass about it? Can he just go one post without crapping on anybody's happiness? Is this you? Do you crap on people's happiness and whine all the time about how much life sucks? If so, stop it. Nobody wants to hear it.

SIKKUKUT

I have been watching a LOT of Firefly lately. I am taking no fewer than three sets of people through the complete series, and as a result, I've seen most of the episodes multiple times in a very short span. As such, I've started to notice things. I think most of us have noticed that Jayne has a Blue Sun T-shirt. And as we know from Joss's commentary, the Blue Sun Corporation is somehow connected with the Blue Hand Men who are hunting River and the experiments that were conducted on her. I assume this is old news, but... Jayne is wearing his Blue Sun T-shirt at the beginning of Ariel. And River slashes him... [i] right across the logo. [/i] Joss Whedon: Genius or madman? You decide. I mean, seriously. That's an almost ridiculous degree of forward planning, given that any plan to reveal the link between Blue Sun and Blue Hands was at least 6 episodes into the future, quite probably much more. And yet... even without that realization, the stabbing is important as a demonstration of River's craziness, a catalyst to get them to the hospital, and an extra reason for Jayne to dislike her. PLUS, one might conceivably, after multiple repeat viewings on DVD, notice the Blue Sun thing as an added bonus. Since it doesn't hurt anything, I'd call him a genius.

THATWEIRDGIRL

was great! I really enjoyed it. It was nice knowing there were all these people all of the world watching Firefly with me. My favorite part was the "pre-shindig". I liked all the banter and random talk. The quips during the show were hard to keep up with, but none-the-less fun to read. I hope someone plans another one soon. Thanks to everyone that helped get it off the ground. You guys make the Firefly world go round!

SIKKUKUT

Many of the folks I've converted have commented on what an oddity Shepherd Book is-- for a man of God, he certainly can handle himself. And as Jayne says in Our Mrs. Reynolds, "One day you're gonna tell us all how a preacher knows so damn much about crime." Forest Harris's surpassing "Knuckleduster Cowtown Creator," intended as an aid to Western roleplaying but useful for all manner of purposes, has this to say about clergymen in the Old West: "Traveling preachers are not what you'd call 'soft.' They generally ride mules and resemble them to some degree. Fully cognizant of the nature of their flock, they are careful to arm themselves with a horse-whip, bowie knife, and an old Colt's percussion army revolver... They are ordinarily neither hypocrites nor lunatics, but tough, single-minded men who know how to think on their feet." (p. 91) Now, I'm not saying that Book is a perfectly typical Shepherd in the Firefly 'Verse. If nothing else, his ident card proves that much. However, it's possible that he's not as far from normal as you might think. If you're trying to get a picture of religious men in general in a frontier situation (say, for roleplaying or fanfic), this description might be a good thing to keep in mind. Harris's book and its companion piece, "The Knuckleduster Firearms Shop" are more than worth checking out for even vaguely Western-themed roleplaying or fiction writing. They're informative and (as far as I can tell) meticulously researched.

ATHENAE

Newbie. *waves hello* Been reading this site for about a year now, finally got the courage to join up. Cannot, cannot, cannot wait for the film. S'all for now. A.

SIKKUKUT

I showed my mother (an acknowledged browncoat) a website where one can buy Blue Sun accoutrements. She thought it was incredibly cool, and said that my whole family will need to get shirts. It took her a few moments to comment on the fact that Blue Sun are the bad guys... it's an irony I think Joss would enjoy. Plus, it's not only a Firefly reference, but a sort of commentary on wearing corporate logos... Um. Anyway... Not sure how this idea came up, but I love it: Raise a bunch of money from Firefly fans. Use it to buy advertising space in big cities or your hometown in the month or two before the movie comes out. Put up Blue Sun billboards, just like the ones in "Serenity." Blue on white, just the logo. In case people are puzzled, register www.bluesun.com (which doesn't currently exist!) and hire a webmaster (with all that money we raised) to make the Blue Sun website. Get it to subtly link to Fireflyfans.net and the official movie site. We browncoats all have to do our part to get the word out about this movie. Does that seem like a cool way to do it?

WELA

Just for those of you who haven't seen 'The message' of 'Bonny Portmore' yet.... Go download it and watch, if it moved me (hey I was sitting in the living room watching it on my computerscreen and found myself eating chocolate sitting on the kitchen table afterwards, don't remember how I got there :wink:), it's bound to move you. It got to me..... bigtime...:biggrin: MrVessel/ Shadowman, you're my Hero :kiss: Make some more, okay? Let him know what you think of it, if you have the time. He deserves some feedback after all the effort he put into it. It might take some time to download, but I promise you it's worth it, took me only 30 minutes, but heard others say it took 8 hours,so hang in there! (it just makes me love my mom even more for lending me the money for my new computer!, thanks mom!) Oh and load up on some chocolate before watching :wink:

DRACOS

I was on my Live Journal page today, writing some reviews and I ended up with one that more or less was Firefly related. THats right folks, you guessed it! Its Starship Troopers 2. Ill post it here since most of you will at least get a laugh out of it. Movie: STARSHIP TROOPERS 2: HERO OF THE FEDERATION, "splorch."

KIARA

So, have collected many patterns from different places to piece together Mal's jacket for the BDM. Two actually; husband and I. Shiny. I find it highly amusing that I am so gorram crazy about this show. I never before understood why people would want to dress up as characters from a movie to go see it (LOTR), but now I do. Damn.

SHADESIREN

Well... I've always disliked reading fan fiction. It's a weird thing of mine, I guess. More power to you for writing it, but I just never read any I liked. Now... *sigh*... now I'm writing some. Firefly has finally forced me to add my two bits, and write some of my own. It's on my website, under Other Artworks.. fan Fiction. www.shadesiren.tk I belong to a yahoo RPG, where I write for Inara. That's fun. This is different, writing about an original character in the same universe. I'm scared to death it's gonna end up like some of those awful Fan fics, where the main character gets some smoochy-face with someone from the show (yeah, so I got a crush on Mal.. I'm TRYING to control myself). *sigh* Well, I'll see how it goes, and add to it, and see how long I can resist crossing paths with our BDHs.

QUICKSAND

So I had a few days off from work this weekend, and took off down the Interstate to Houston, visit a friend. (I'm in Dallas, though the cities are not relevant to this story) I'm gone for 2 days-- Friday a.m. until Sunday a.m. In this time, the following things happen: 1) "Serenity" begins filming. 2) Creed breaks up. 3) Ronald Reagan dies. 4) J.Lo gets married. Now, I'm not saying this has anything to do with me leaving town. I'm not saying #2, 3 and 4 have anything to do with #1. All I'm saying is... that this was the chain of events, and they all climaxed with the heavily favored Lakers losing tonight in regulation. Deal with this information as you will... but the stack of chaos just can't all be coincidence. Can it? :crap:

FLETCHER

Well... don't know what to say... Wife died almost a year ago to the day. I don't blame her. I live on Gamma 88 (The Great 88s!) where the battle of bil was fought. In fact, the ground is still warm to the touch in places, despite all them wonderful Alliance foams they sprayed on the ground. They say it's safe to live on, but nothing will grow for another 150 years. I still drop seeds in the ground but it's a pointless routine. A waste of money really, spending money on seeds that will do me no good. I still go out prospecting on my 600 acres hoping they missed a spot while shooting at all them browncoats. Haven't found one yet. Mickey tells me I should start surveying the hill out to the west. Maybe find some mineral that I could mine. It's a good idea but the boys used to play in them caves when they were kids. I don't know if I could spend much time in them without sobbing. I was thinking of hoofing it into town and finding a job. Don't know doing what though.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Hey everybody! There is a shindig on AIM tonight. It's just getting started. I hope you all can make it.

FLETCHER

Sh*t fire and save the matches! My neighbor Leung died yesterday. No real surprise to anyone who knew him. Ol’ scratch must have been 160 if he was a day. He was the first neighbor I knew when I plotted out my land and he was ancient then. People dying on the Great 88(!) ain’t no big news, but this is -- Ol’ devil left me his tractor in his will. A honest to G-d, working tractor. I could have worked another 200 acres with a tractor before…. before… Hell, before my ground ticked more than my wife’s damned grandfather clock. A tractor…. she’s a beaut too. Leung, you ol’ cuss, for the love of all that’s holy, what am I going to do with a tractor?

RELFEXIVE

Finally got my DVDs back, so I've started to watch the eps again. Shiny! Might watch them all through twice before I do anything else, like the fanfic I mentioned before. Except... I have another (non-FF) fanfic I really should finish first. It's been stuck at part one of (theoretically) four for, like, more than a year. I'll get to finishing that, then on to the new.

MOONFIRE

Well I have just come back off from holiday - still trying to get over jetlag - well I am sure I will :smile: Hope that everyone else has been good while I have been away :wink: :biggrin: ~~~~~ Mal: Looks can be deceiving. Jayne: Not as deceiving as a low down, dirty deceiver. Mal: Well said. Wasn't that well said, Zoe? Zoe: It had a kinda poetry to it.

SUCCATASH

I'm grateful to Ebo and she deserves special recognition for her good deeds. Today, I learned that she saved a renegade nun. It takes skill to handle a nun on the run. I know, because I've saved a couple myself. But I've lost dozens more. It's not a joke.

EBONEZER

I knew that would get your attention. Anyway, i just wan't to let the world know that there are certain, um, people (named Tash) who have me somewhat concerned (that would also be Tash) about my health and well being. So I'm off to join the witness protection program. But its very secret (nobody tell Tash.) And on the down-low (I said don't tell Tash!) But if for some reason you wanna keep tabs on me, you can always visit me here: (unless you're Tash) www.livejournal.com/users/yeabig See you in September!

AMG88

im going away on sunday having only just come back from france and me and my friend were sat talking and watching firefly last night and we were saying how u can tell when ur obssed when u say things like gorram or ai ya or le su or ain't alot. does anyone else out there get funny looks for saying these thigns or for whistleing the firefly theme tune or for coming out with things like im fixing the bible in the middle of ur gcse re class lol please talk to me make me feel not alone. so going away again feel like i never stop it would be worth it if i had summer glau with me but that ain't ever gonna happen. can u believe that i misss meeting summer again coz lillybeth has to go on holiday n no one else will go with me it was gonna be my b day prezzie as well i think im gonna cry i had plans to take her two lil prezzies as well all planned out and what i was gonna say to her. but that all goes down the toilet when u get there the nervousness of it all kicks in and ur lucky if u can manage flib folb never mind hello lol. i think it would be easier if they weren;t so damn pritty and well my idoles lol its just i love her so much and look up to her and its really hard to say anything that makes sence around her and i feel that if i have to get through a day where i don't get to come home and look at the signed picture of her i'd explode but i just went a week and now i have to go 4 more days i don't know what i'll do to calm me down. its liek a blanket but i can't take it places with me it has to stay here and i'll miss it petty or what. i think im kind of scary. but it just makes me think of a time when i was happy i mean happiness don't come often but i stole mals saying really but instead of still flying i feel at the end of the day if you can look back and say well im still alive it could have been a worse day lol. so i've had my random babble now i shall leave and go away again best of luck to all

QUICKSAND

This must be what going mad feels like. I'm in the grocery store today. Not unusual. And I see this big stack, maybe 8' x 8' of Coke 12-packs. And I don't mean "Coke" like some of you may refer to all carbonated beverages. I mean, Coca-Cola. The packages are a funny color. Odd, I think. I peer closer. "C2" it's called. Hey, I remember seeing ads for that. Didn't they learn their lesson with New Coke? They can't be that dumb. So, I peer closer. "Low Carb Coke." :censored: *stream of curses* :censored: What the :censored:?!?!?! Have our Corporate Overlords lost their damn minds?! LOW CARB COKE?! You know a trend has reached idiotic proportions when this happens. Especially when you consider that if you're fat and drink Coke, the problem isn't the carbs, it's the SUGAR and CAFFEINE. But no, slap a "Low Carb" label on it and watch those sales figures dance like shiny lil elves!! Carbs are energy. If you're playing football tomorrow, you should eat a lot of them. If you're sitting on your couch tomorrow and watching "Oprah," you probably should avoid them. But going out of your way for low-carb this, low-carb that, is the very height of what makes humans so freaking confusing. Instead of going to all this EXTRA trouble to find low-carb cookies, why not just eat the damn regular cookies and DO SOME SIT-UPS?!!? I eat what I want, and in the mornings, I always run around the block before the sun gets too high in the sky to melt my valuable brain. If America did this, the dumbest thing I'd have to write about this weekend would be "The Stepford Wives," which I wouldn't waste my time on either way. Resume surfing. And DON'T BUY C2!! Drink Coke, jog. That's my new slogan. WAKE UP, EARTH!!! -Qs- p.s. I think I'm going to bottle up some "Low Carb Water." I'd be RICH!!!

THEGREYJEDI

So the man you know as "Static" joined me at the Van Halen kick-off concert in Greensboro last night. It was easily the best show I have ever seen. To hear genuine gratitude for your fans is something so rare these days. Sammy Hagar would kneel down and sign as many things as he could while Eddie ripped our ears a new one with amzing guitar solos. You can tell they love what they do and that they love their fans. Just an awesome experience. Also, if you ever end up in the Greensboro area, and manage to find it, check out a bar called Plum Krazies. Live bands on weekends, blues, oldies, classic rock, rockabilly. Just good stuff.

RAWDEAL

:blast: At last I'm getting my very own Firefly DVD set, cant wait for them to arrive. :smokin:

FLETCHER

I sold the tractor. Of course, not before I got drunk off my @$$ and I threw a half empty bottom of Vat 15 at it. I sold it to Bob Johnson, the only man to have bought land on the subcontinent before the war. (Remember when everyone thought Bob was k-razy?) He’s one rich S.O.B. now, but he gave me a fair price. Said he couldn’t even see the place where the bottle had scraped the paint. He also offered me a job. Farming, naturally. Truth be told, I thought about it. I thought about it a lot. I just can’t leave my land. It’ll be the death of me. Just like Leung. Granted, the land ain’t much -- a house, three graves out back with a space for a fourth, and acre after acre of white Alliance Decon Foam. (Gonna be my best harvest ever this year. Har har.) I’m takin’ Mickey’s advice. I took the money from the sale of the tractor and I bought soil testing kits and surveying equipment. I’m heading out for the hills on my property out to the west. I don’t know what I expect to find. My boys and those Browncoats hid in those caves during the battle of bil. Maybe I’ll find me a stash of rebel gold. Har har.

SHADESIREN

I'm writing it wierd, but not on purpose. I wrote some paragraphs, and realized it was kinda summary. That's not so bad, I'm finding it kinda helpful. Anway, I expanded the intro of Maurice, the cook. I'm desperate for a little constructive criticism, so feel free ;)

RICHARDWORTHINGTON

Considering that I only watched Firefly for the first time two weeks ago I think that it may have had a major effect on me. My brother came back from University yesterday, i haven't seen him since Christmas, did I welcome him with open arms or did I spend a lot of time telling him to watch Firefly, can you guess. I think that I may have scared him some.

KRYSTOPHER

Here's one thing I don't like much. How come no one ever got sick? Not so much as the sniffles. I mean, me, I'm always sick. That's why one of my favorite episodes of Enterprise was when Reed got sick, not because I'm a sadist but because it seemed more realistic. I hope someone gets the sniffles in the movie, it would make me feel a lot better... *sniffle* I hate being sick... :( EDIT (7:25): That's a good point Static... not fair *tear* LoL

NUR

[rant]They shouldn't let professors put a final for one class at 10 in the morning and then the midterm for another at 7 that same evening. When studying for something like that sacrifices will have to be made and that just ain't shiny. Also, they shouldn't let him teach a 3 hour class today (Tuesday) then make us write the final on Thursday. And those freaking moths are not, I repeat ARE NOT an example of natural selection! Stop saying that they are! [/rant] ~Nur asparagine...the vegetable of amino acids

SOULOFSERENITY

My sister got married on Saturday. Nice little wedding. She got married to a guy who at first I wanted to kill, but now is actually a decent guy. Here's the problem, though. First, he's 25 and she's 19. Second, they got married because my sister is 3 months pregnant. Thirdly, he already has a four-year-old daughter that he pays child support for. The two of them only recently gave up weed and alcohol (although they still dabble with the latter). They spend money with reckless abandon and can barely pay their bills at the end of the month. Some people...

THATWEIRDGIRL

I thought this week was going to end the crazy days of the last few weeks. I finished moving to a new house. Work hours have been better than ever. His parents celebrating my dad's bday with us. And I made some small improvements to my site. All of that is trivial stuff. I wonder why it occupies so much of my time. This morning I got an email that stopped my heart. My beautiful little cousin is being rushed to Dallas for an operation. Her doctors misdiagnosed her in April and treated her for Rocky Mt Spotted Fever. Saturday she suffered a seizure. After the MRI, the doctors told her parents that there is a tumor on her brain. She has lost her vision, hopefully temporarily, and is skinnier than a rail. All I can do is pray for her and keep her in my thoughts. I can't get down to Dallas to stay with her family. Her two sisters are staying with some cousins in Kilgore. They tell me she is still the light of the room. I have never seen her without a smile and I imagine she is smiling now too.

GUNRUNNER

I can't seem to send you a message via the PMing feature here at FFF.net or via Email so I'm hoping you'll notice the blog. The Firefly Class ship for orbiter is located at www.avsim.com go to there file libray and search for "Firefly" in the Orbiter: Spaceships catagory. To get Orbiter go to

TRACER

Hey hey readers.....sounds familiar... i had a couple of weeks off as you can read..exams and recoup but i'm back... *groan* it true shooting for the bdm has begun now? Sorry i've been out of the loop for an eternity... downloaded the star wars galaxies trial...don't know what to make of it... well i think i've stopped my life from de-railing.(famous last words) ok hope you guys have taken it easy while i've been off big smiles :D Tracer.

RICHARDWORTHINGTON

I know some people have modeled Serenity using various computer programs but does anyone know if anybody has made any attempt to actually scratch build a real model. I am determined to have a go myself and make something at least a foot long and would just apreciate any useful information from previous attempts

BLEYDDYN

It's been three full weeks since I sent our picture and letter in about being extras on Serenity and I haven't heard anything. With shooting almost a third over, if rumors are correct, that doesn't bode very well for our chances. Which is a very unhappy thought, especially after reading TheDuke's stories and seeing his pictures. On the other hand, I think I would have been incredibly nervous and not done a very good job as an extra, so it may be for the best.

ZARK1976

A friend of mine loaned me Firefly. Seemed like a good idea since I hadn't seen any of it, and a few other people had mentioned liking it. I watched the series, and liked it enough to buy it for myself. But it makes me sad that the series ended so abruptly. It came out at a time where I wasn't watching any TV and went off the air before I heard anything nice about it. So sad. But now I've got what's out, and it sits on my shelf, with the promise of a film next year. So I figure, I can watch the DVDs and read fanfics and such, if I feel like a little space western. I realized that it had really hit into my consciousness the other day when I said shiny without consciously thinking about it. I decided in the past couple of days to put a couple of odd little ideas down, and share with y'all, so if you feel like somethin' odd, check out my fics.

THEGREYJEDI

So, God only knows why, I went to hang out with my ex-girlfriend, get my hair did, etc. Backstory for those of you, being everyone but Static, who don't know the "sitch". Ex-girlfriend dumped me for my friend, dumped him out of the blue, cheated on both of us, sometimes with the other, and still likes to play silly mind games revolving around my incomprehensibly remaining desire for her. Well, maybe not [i]her[/i] so much as her in certain circumstance. Anyway. We don't get along in the prescence of, well, humans. Just the two of us, and it's a-ok. And she's got and doing things with my hair, coloring, cutting, etc. So I get my hair touched up and go to the mall, meet another friend. All fine and good. Then she calls her current boytoy, a will-less boy some few weeks older than me, and, as she has reminded me, also a lot like me. Right. Also he's her manager. That has good written all over it. But he makes a lot of money, and bends to her will. Everything she wants, nothing she needs. So we're all eating and she decides that it would be a good idea to bring him into our collective presence. Yeah. Great. Wonderful. I hate ex-girlfriends, but still love her. If I didn't, it wouldn't hurt. Goramnit straight to ruttin' hell.

THEGREYJEDI

{rant volume=loud tone="bittersweet poignant"> Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit} I can [i]still[/i] smell her perfume! I bet she did that on purpose! Cause it's the scent she knows drives me batty in that "special" way! ...DAMNIT! {/rant}

MAUGWAI

Not from anything gross. I finally finished my first completed screenplay yesterday. I've been putting it off because as long as it wasn't finished, I didn't have to face the possibility that nobody would like it. But finish it I did. And this morning I submitted my synopsis to various agents and managers to see who wants it. So there's no turning back now. And that's why I feel like I'm going to be sick. I would like to add that my screenplay does include several veiled tributes to Joss.

QUICKSAND

We haven't had a good year for movies in a while. In a WHILE. 2004 is a slight improvement on 2003, but this year will still see us sitting through too many weekends with High-Budget-Low-Brains disappointments like "Van Helsing" and any movie that opened before "Kill Bill Vol. 2." Consider, then, what's on the menu for 2005: a) Mission: Impossible - 3 b) Star Wars Episode III c) Serenity d) Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy e) Batman: Year One f) Sin City g) Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory h) Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang Some of those titles might mean something to you, others might not. (f) is directed by Robert Rodriguez, from the Frank Miller comic, and has virtually every star you've ever heard of that isn't making 8 figures for every movie. (g) is Johnny Depp and Tim Burton. (h) is written and directed by Shane Black, who wrote the screenplay for, among other things, "The Long Kiss Goodnight," and "The Last Boy Scout." Am I excited about 2005? You-friggin'-betcha. Fifty times more excited than I am about anything remaining in 2004... in fact, can we just fast-forward? I know Oliver Stone has his big epic coming out Christmas-time, but.... does the world REALLY need another Colin Farrell movie? Stay Shiny.

FLETCHER

Nothing like a couple days “roughin’ it” outdoor to make you fully appreciate the brilliance of a sturdy outhouse. It’s good to be home. And I haven’t thought so in a long time. Took almost no time to walk to the caves, but damn’d if it didn’t take me a whole day to get the courage up to go on in. See, I had it in my mind that once I was inside, I would stumble across some ancient memory of my boys. I expected to find “Bill was here” scratched in the wall or a bow and arrow set made out of twigs. Well, I just didn’t think I would have been able to handle that. When I finally did go in, I was surprised and relieved to find there was nothing but some left over Browncoat rations and equipment. As far as I can tell, ol’ Browncoats used the cave as a base during the battle of bil. I was able to tell this by the number of discarded officer cigar ends. LORAX tobacco too. Fine stuff from a fine planet. Always heard Williams and his like had a weakness for it, but I doubt if any of them was in that cave. Wouldn’t that just be the end all? B.R.Williams, Browncoat general and living legend, campin’ in my backyard. If that had been the case, I would have been able to sell those cigar droppings for 10 bars per butt. I spent the next couple of days, exploring the caves, taking scans with the survey equipment and taking soil samples. Can’t say that I know much about what I was doing. Soil, I know. Rocks, well, that’s a horse of a different color. I’m sending my spectrograph results back to Miners’ Guild in the Core. Ain’t gonna hold my breath.

THATWEIRDGIRL

I know this has been discussed over and over, but it is stuck in my head thanks to the filk contest. I think Wash is his handle. The term wash can have a lot of meanings including being a wash out. Maybe he didn't make it thru flight school. I can see him saying the heck with it and dropping out. Maybe he has a habit of flying back thru the wake of the jets. I guess what I am saying is that Wash can have any name he wants. He doesn't have a name.

ELVIS

I've got a weekly Onscreen feature (Wednesdays at high noon KFJC 89.7fm/www.kfjc.org). Past couple of weeks I've featured Firefly/Serenity. Seemed like the newsworthy thing to do, an official release having been announced, and production begun. But I took a bet from a friend, who said I couldn't find something about Firefly or Serenity to include each and every week until the BDM is released. I've called the company doing local PR for Universal, for what that might produce. And I'm still feeling a mite daunted. I think there's material--especially of the "what the heck is Firefly and why should I seek out the DVDs" variety--but enough to be interesting in the not lame sense through April 2005? Did I take a bet I can't possibly win? 6/18

RAVE

as i lay in bed i think abot my self what have i done to gane he friends i have i meet them in an rp at school at work or just doing notin but stnding aroufor some one to piss me off cuz feel lie beating the living shit out of some one. friends, what dose that word really mean. loalty, trust, faith in one, i got ur back. no not my friends well not all my friends if any one ever thought maybe ppl in another state r like the ppin my state i can trust them WRONG!!! my so called friends have took advantage of me, my loyalty my trust my kindness, i would die carlessly throughing my lfe away just so my so called friends can live longer. u know alot of u ppl think of love as a feeling when all it is, is a word it as no feel nore a meening y do u all keep saying it, it makes me sick just to think that u ppl say it.

CITADEL84

so anyway i'm impatient like hell and fanfic is just porno now so can someone please add some entertainment to the long dreary summer months, i mean its not even bloody hot!!

THEGREYJEDI

I always have a strangely aristocratic feeling about me whenever I spend time with my dad or my dad's side of the family. My father, my aunts and uncles, my grandparents, are all comfortably in the upper-middle class of America. My father and step-mother recently purchased a huge house off of Hickory lake, which seems almost palatial. That and it feels more like home than I feel here in my mom's basement. (classic nerd joke here) That would have been enough of a recharge for me, but we also visited my family's place up in Sparta, which is squarely and securely in the middle of Appalachia. I love the mountains. Even compared to my rural livings, the air is clean and fragrant with Old Growth forest. It's simple and quiet up there. Aside from all of that, my father's side of the family all get along. Not only that, but instead of just a gathering of people that get along that just happen to be related, there's genuine familial love there. That underlying current of love that permeates everything they do, every shared story, every pick or jab, every meal, every shared grief or triumph. And it's humbling, too, in that I am the oldest son of the oldest son of the oldest son, of the Patriarch of this branch of Johnsons I belong to, the children and descendents of Harry Lester Johnson, Sr. Knowing that someday it will be me that puts on the mantle of patriarch of this rather large family has helped me keep some focus in my path in life. But I know that my path will make me the man I need to be to be the man that leads my siblings, my cousins, my future children, neices, and nephews. It's just been a good weekend. Oh, and I found a four-leaf clover so nyeh! :tongue:

ELVIS

Thanks for taking the time to make those suggestions jebbypal and Anonymous. The ideas were good one and the time you took to send 'em my way much appreciated. I feel much less as if I've taken a sucker bet now. Win or no. This week is about Jayne and Adam Baldwin. I'll be putting together what we used to call a splice-o-rama in the old days of magnetic tape. Can't believe how we used to record or dub our sound samples to reel-to-reel tape, cut and reassemble it into a finished piece. Took hours just to lay the sounds onto tape. And there was always this awful sense of finality when you took razor blade to that tape. Not to mention the generational noise and distortion on the finished piece. It's still something of a chore getting the audio off DVDs and such, but we can edit with mouse clicks now, and Peak allows us virtually unlimited undos. But it'll still be a long Tuesday night if this is to air on Wednesday noon. Even the best idea is still at the mercy of its presentation. And this one was a whim. 6/21

RAWDEAL

:cheers:[/B] I finally got my Firefly DVDs. Just watched the pilot and then again with the commentary. So good to have seen it again after months.

LISSA

hey guys, guess what! i just finished my last year at the libitzki school of dance (tear!) with my last recital (tear!) as the big bad wolf in little red riding hood! so fun, especially since i got to be a tutu-wearing wolf:) well, a grey tutu with a tail. and pretty beads:) of course, i'll be back next year to do the company tap dance or whatever, but still, it's time to cry now :crap: sigh... this is the sucky bit about going to college!

JEBBYPAL

So, saw Dodgeball last night and it was good although annoyed they'd showed the hi-larious stuff in previews i'd already seen. But that's not the point of this rant. the point is they showed a preview for I, Robot first....and of course, they gave the ENTIRE plot, twists and all, away in it. I was seething! If they do this for serenity, I swear I will have a fit in the theater! When will the advertising people in hollywood realize that we don't like to know everything in a movie!!!

SOULOFSERENITY

Hee hee...I just posted on a Star Trek fan board. My message is as follows: [quote]For all those who are burnt out with Enterprise, might I suggest Joss Whedon's short-lived but brilliant show [i]Firefly[/i]. It's avaliable in it's entirity on DVD and due to the massive fan base has been green-lit for a feature film release for April 22, 2005. The movie has already begun filming and is to be the first of a trilogy. Visit

ZIL

so yeah, I used to have a blog on another site... (fruhead.com)... it was where I was writing my book. turning my enties there into a kind of selfnarative/boohoo/funny story/diary thing that I hoped to get published this year. where my specialty lies is in the visual arts, pretty much anything visual and creative I can do. I do set design, scenic painting, costume design, light design, abstract painting, portraits, I'm a photographer, I take headshots when I need money and I do artistic stuff for my personal pleasure, pottery, stained glass art, welding, mixed media... and more I'm forgetting I'm sure. I live in hell-I mean maine. actually I like it here... I like to spend a lot of time at the beach... good thing about maine summers? it gets warm but its still so hazy and cloudy most tmes that a pale redheaded girl can be on the beach over and over again and not burn to a crisp. clames to fame? Stephen King lives in maine... he came into the theater I manage and complained about the cost of junior mints to me. also william defoe has run into me more than once and REMEMBERED me. I don't really watch much tv... mostly because of the new found love the nation has with reality tv... (gag)... brutal. how did I come to fine firefly then? well my significant other moved in with me last month and being the typical tortured artist that I am I have insomnia, so one night I was looking for something to zone out to and popped in the first disc of firefly. I watched all of it in two days... and now I find myself out somewhere and I'm like, "dude, that guy looks amazingly like jayne!" and the point when I realized that every winter my gran made me what would later be called "jayne hats" for christmas? I think I have one that exact color too. anyway the point of this long rambliness? firefly grows on me like a fungi and I'm new here and hi and stuff.

THATWEIRDGIRL

I am really enjoying myself in the firefly chatroom. We are discussing the merits of sub-orbital transporation. Isn't that cool! Maybe I'll post a chat transcipt so everyone can dream of 15 minutes of zero grav.

RAWDEAL

I finally got my Firefly DVDs. Just watched the pilot and then again with the commentary. So good to have seen it again after months. :smokin:

REMI

I am so excited about the "Serenity" movie. I couldn't be happier! The Blogs coming in from the actors on set, get leave me in giggles, for I am so exicted I wish I had a time machine to fast forward me to the movies preview!!!!

SHADESIREN

I've written quite a lot on my fan fiction. I've also discovered that my site really doesn't work in all browser types, so I'm posting a link directly to my fanfiction.

ZIL

@ work early today because I couldn't sleep. don't drink the water don't breathe the air don't much care if i ever get there. get where? get there... just a little closer to clear. a breakfast of pills, a list full of ills, even the best love kills. and I'll never be closer to clear. clear and free free and clear. duck and cover cover my head. head on out to live. ....

ZIL

as I was listening to modest mouse's latest album I was thinking that, you know what this is just odd enough to be perfect to use for 'serenity' the full length feature. also note that I am biased as I am an avid fan of indie musaks. rock. I'm wearing my jayne hat today. I'll have a hard time comanding respect as the manager with it on, but the air conditioning is broken and wont turn off or down. so we're basicly in a freezer. brutal.

DREAMWEAVER

I may be late to the party, but I am such a huge fan of the show. My husband and I bought the DVD set based on just a few episodes that we were able to catch. I don't understand how the show was cancelled, it was amazing acting, great writing and the must fun on TV that there was. Those :censored:.

RICHARDWORTHINGTON

So it's the last 40mins of work, I've run out of stuff to do so I am wandering around the 'net and staring out of the window. It's officially supposed to be summer now and it is pissing it down outside and I can guarantee it won't have stopped before I have to cycle home. I'm still determined to make a model of Serenity but before that, and as an aid I may try and use AutoCAD to draw out bits of it and see if I can create something coherent. I'm determined to achieve something, I do have 303 days to do it in

ASTRIANA

Okay, for those that have been waiting/curious to see pics of me singing with WarBand, there are some available on the band's site at:

BRITCHICK

I'm in New Jersey on business for two weeks, going home tomorrow. My Serenity patches arrived this week... thank you so much Gwyneth, they are FAB!

FLETCHER

(I received this today) “William T. Fletcher “Gamma 88 “North Continent “Fischer Territory “6800 Passhill Road “Dear Mr. Fletcher: “Attached to and considered a part of this electronic communication is standard form (SF) 8011, a report of mineral findings utilizing Guild Issue Mobile Kit R17, submitted to our office on Friday, June 19th via Alliance Net. “Aforementioned soil samples met with negative results for any mineral deposits currently in medium to high demand throughout colonized planets. Carbon levels were within standard ranges with slightly elevated levels of aragonite and cerussite. “Although the Guild appreciates untrained individuals taking initiative, additional training would significantly assist with future field surveys and excavation projects. In addition to SF-8011, a list of training seminars provided throughout Core planets is attached. “Sincerely, “ Kenneth Harper “Assistant Mineral Supervisor “United Miners Guild of the Alliance “Persephone (I believe every word with the exception of 'sincerely')

RAVE

my elder brother left today i saw him walk away to his plane i saw his plane fly away it was off to las vages then he switches planes and gos to ontairio were he will take a shutle to r grandparetns then on friday he will go to san deago (sry i can't spell)then on satrday hes off to philli i think then to rome then to an island about 56 miles off the main land of italy were he will be for 3 1/2 yrs i'm going to miss him very much. :finger: that fucking asshole i am going to kick his ass.

MAI

How shiny my first blog ever. I am sure this subject has been addressed before but... you know your obsesed with firefly when: the phone rings and work and you can't remember the blurt your suppose to use cause you been sitting at your computer secretly reading fan fic. so, the first thing that comes out is Serenity,,,may i help...oops i mean

ZIL

I was driving hom from work last night and I saw some guys strutting along the street. kind of wigger looking, anyhoo one of them stopped and signalled to the others anD what do you think they did? they crossed the Street just so they could smell some flowers growing there. I find life gets dull if people don't keep suprising me.

ZIL

I was in boston all day again today. poked and prodded. here and there. and ya know what? dude! thats what, a big resounding DUDE! I was in with the food police (dietition) and she was like, "why can't you test like you're sposed to?" "why can't you eat like you're sposed to?" "why why why?" and i kind of ho hummed for a bit and she pressed and I was like, "well its hard to be concerned with testing when you don't even have motivation to get out of bed and when you'd rather hurt yourself then breathe." she looked at with her mouth wide open and was like, "I'll be right baaaack" long story short they tried to put me away again. seems different rules apply to people who need to be mentally stable or else they wont take care of this little thing, like life threatening diabetes, and then they'll die. tricksy. they shipped me over to the mental health ward to be evaluated. rock and or roll. the crazies circled around the new meat like starving wolve at the feed. I talked openly with the shrinker... told her things that I haven't opened up about with ANYONE before. she wanted me to go into the hospital too, but she said she'd leave it up to me. in or out patient. I choose out, but for a minute I actually thought about it. for a minute I was real with myself. I can't trust myself sometimes. what I hear isn't always whats said. what i see isn't always whats there. and whats in my head would make the bravest person wet themselves. and its all mine. for a minute I almost decided to go away. I'll be a Spring Harbor out patient though. spring harbor, they make it sound like a fairy land. sunshine and rainbows, just hold on or they'll take you. *sigh* paranoia.

BLUESUNBURN

Hi. New to the boards, I've been luriking for a while, and decided to throw my hand in. I never was able to watch Firefly when it was on TV, due to scheduling, but based on the raves I'd heard about it at some cons, I bought the DVD set cold, and fell in love with it. So far, I've managed to convert three people directly, and one by extension, I figure it's a good start.

TRACER

I just don't know where to begin, my eyes burn with just the tears. No it isn't the mace... Things have just been strange after my monitor blew up on me, well more infront of me. Having screwed around with the s video output i managed to run my pc through the 14" tv of mine. It jsut agonising now, i squint at the screen at the little writing. And if something else goes wrong, the computer snuffs it, after reformating it graceful soiled up again. The eye strain alone is making me look like Penfold from dangermouse, my hair is just falling out now through the stress. still only a pup n' all.640x480 AGH! and now my eyes run think its hayfever symptoms damn it. just wish i came here a little more often, but i just curl up and cry at the screen size, not all the site comes through well. next time mebe hahaha i should be happy the sun was shinning today..pity i was sardined in here fixing the pc :banghead: might try and get firefly on the dolby digital set up down stairs :smile:

HAKEN

I wonder what would have happened if it wasn't made out of rubber, but solid steel? [quote] What would you do with a 2,600-pound giant rubber ball? Why, throw it off the back of a plane, of course. The world's biggest rubber band ball has been dropped from an airplane at one mile high. A U.S. television company offered to give the ball a spectacular send-off by filming the event and airing it on their television show, Ripley's Believe It or Not. The producers spent an estimated $4 million on the episode to film it during its descent and capture the action as it bounces to unknown heights. However, there was a problem: instead of bouncing, the ball created a massive crater in the sun-baked earth of the Mojave Desert in Arizona at 400 mph. Prior to its crash and burn plummet, the ball had been the 14-foot 8-inch circumference creation by Tony Evans, comprised of six million elastic bands. [/quote]

MAI

ah, the ever eternal question what do showtunes and firefly have in common.... not a gorram thing, except maybe my eccentric (to say the least) taste. so anyway,im listening to show tunes at work and this song Maria comes on (oh you know the one... how do you solve a problem like maria lalalalal). and one of the lyrics are "how do you catch a moonbeam in your hand?" now i know im not the only one that sees the obvious answer to this, but duh ... you hitch a ride on Serenity and your on your way. problem solved.

GUNRUNNER

Ok was cooking some lunch in the oven today, first I had to light the pilot light which has a tendency to blow out- relighting it always fun when some of the propane has built up in the oven! Well I check on the oven and its seems cold- darn pilot light out again. So if lift up the metal plate and YHARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Tai-kong suo-yo duh shing-chiouh doh sai-jin wuh duh pee-goo the gorram oven is on and f—king hot!! I went thought every Chinese curse word I know and made up a few on the way to the bathroom to run some very cold water. After I do a quick Yahoo search on first aid for minor burns I go back to my room and for 3 hours I sit there with a bunch of ice cubes to numb my fingers, watching tv in lots of pain, when I decide to put on Disk 2 of Firefly, after Shindig I decide to stop using ice- after about 15 minutes of swearing and nearly punching a few holes in the wall the pain is quieted enough to type this. So firefly did a good job of making me forget about my burned thumb and forefinger. Maybe they should play Firefly DVDs in the waiting rooms of hospitals so sooth people’s pain before seeing a doc.

REMI

The excitement builds with each new posy on this sight. This is the type of show any individual would want to work on. The actors are well in tune to ech other and work together like a well oiled machine. Joss is a genius when it comes to casting. I would love to see him do more! I await your next project mr. joss.

TALVIN

Well, the time has come. This evening, my lovely wife and I head to the hospital so she can have labor induced. Of course, now that the time has come for that, she has started to "drop" finally...so we may get there and be told to let nature take its course. Or not. We are paying for a very complication-free pregnancy with a baby that doesn't want to come out. :smile: Anyhow. *In theory*, tomorrow we will have a little girl in our arms. A New Browncoat to raise! I'll let you know as soon as I am able. Keep Flying. Talvin

JEBBYPAL

K, so now I have two series dvds that have this problem and was wondering if anyone knew a fix or cause or whatever. Certain discs from my firefly set and now one disc of Dead Like me have this problem: either certain episodes won't play at all or certain scenes w/in the episodes play as if the disc is scratched (ie the screen jumps; sound wavy etc). However all of the above discs play just fine on my laptop. Sometimes for the firefly set, wiping them off helps (although certain scenes still have problems). Also, no problem whatsoever if i play the commentary...is this an issue of the xbox reading dvds? or is my xbox attempting to die? (it's only 2 yrs old maybe 3..can't remember). Any hints as to clearing this up? Cause watching on the laptop just isn't as much fun!

FLETCHER

I told him ‘no.’ He blinked twice in disbelief as if I was crazy as a mad hatter. Hell, maybe I am nuttier than a squirrel, but I still said ‘no.’ After finishing his blinking fit, he stammered on about what a generous offer his company was making, about how worthless my land was, and about how saintly he was being. He didn’t even mind pointing out that I could use the money to buy land on the fertile subcontinent and start over (on a much smaller plot, mind you). Gee, that never crossed my mind! Starting over? On fresh soil? Can you do that? The offer was fair. More than fair, really, but he said his company needed to put trash somewhere and apparently, “Blue Sun wants somewhere to be here.” I don’t think he was a banker. He definitely wasn’t a salesman. Probably some sort of accountant as he was so comfortable in that custom tailored suit. Whatever he was, he doesn’t hear ‘no’ a lot in his job. But he heard it today and more than once too. He stomped back to his vehicle, promising never to return, yelling over his shoulder. “We’ll see if any of your neighbors are interested! Hope you don’t mind living next to garbage, Mr. Fletcher!” I'd rather live next to garbage than silver spoon Alliance trash like you.

HEB

I’m free!!! Had my last exam this afternoon and now they’re all over! Three long months until I have to go to Uni and I have no homework to do (okay I have a reading list as long as …well a very long thing but I’m not gonna think about that). I spent the whole of Christmas revising but this holiday is mine! Take my terms Take my whitsun Take my Christmas replace with revision I don’t care I’m still free You can’t take the summer from me. Ok that was bad but it sums up how I feel; I'm in a very weird mood right now. I still have to go to work and stuff but it's not exams so I'm happy. I'm off to watch Out of Gas without the nagging guilt for the first time in months that I should be revising instead. keep flyin' heb ps. I was brave; I blogged (can I use that as a verb?) for the first time so be nice.

NESS

Yep, that's a question mark. My sister's boyfriend came over and they didn't have that much time before he had to leave so my sister suggested that they watch an episode of Firefly instead of starting a movie. Naturally she would have shown him [i]Serenity[/i] but with the lack of time she opted for [i]The Train Job[/i]. When they were done watching he admitted that the episode "didn't rock his world." I was disappointed, considering he's a big sci-fi geek and all. A couple of days later he came over again. To my surprise, he asked if he could watch more Firefly. Apparently [i]The Train Job[/i] had intrigued him. I was all "hell yeah" and immediately put in [i]Serenity[/i] so he could have a better understanding of the universe. After we were done watching, I couldn't tell if he was more impressed or not. Did I make a convert or not? I'd be very happy if he asked to borrow the entire DVD set. One thing's for sure though; when the BDM comes out, my sister is dragging him along. :biggrin:

WERZBOWSKI

I was over on the the BDB (Big Damn Board) this morning and was reading about the whole MyOrangeHat point debacle... It got me to thinking about the whole points reward system over there. So I posted a small rant to get it off my chest. I won't repost it here 'cause it doesn't really apply to Haken's shiny site, but I will post the link in case anyone from here is interested. [i]Edited: I removed the link because I realized that it allowed whomever clicked on it access to the site using my account. You'll just have to sign into the BDB yourself and find my "Off Points And Such" thread in the General Discussion area if you're interested. Sorry.[/i]

DRACOS

Spider-man 2 A friend of mine got four tickets to a pre-showing of Spider-man 2 last night and I ended up going along. I’m not much of a Spider-man fan and the first movie didn’t really do much for me but I was extremely glad that I went. Allow me to explain: Spider-man 2 is a bit of an oddity, its one of those films that has problems and more than a few small and obvious plot holes but, its all so cool you don’t care. The basic premise of the movie is Peter Parker is working himself to death trying to manage two jobs, friendships, college, and that whole being a superhero thing. Meanwhile, Dr. Octopus is created, and starts killing a bunch of people in an effort to gather parts to build a new type of fusion reactor he’s come up with (which consequently could blow up the city if its containment breaks down). Peter decides to give up being Spider-man but is brought into a huge conflict with Octavius. Lots of really cool fight scenes ensue. With that out of the way I will say that this is, from credit reel to credit reel, much better than the first Spider-man. The acting is improved, the CGI is better, it faster paced, and Sam Raimi was given almost total control. Therefore it feels more like a really big-budget Raimi film as compared to a two-hour culmination of Marvel telling Raimi what to do. (For those of you wondering: that’s a good thing.) There’s even a scene in a hospital that is just pure Evil Dead in that it’s really cool and designed to be both pseudo-horrory and hilarious at the same time. This it pulls off very well. Okay. Bad stuff time. There are as I said a few rather obvious plot holes but they aren’t too major. There are some small continuity errors as well. Kirsten Dunst’s acting still isn’t great and I have to say that she looked pretty ruddy throughout the film. Also, the plot-twist/villain for Spider-man 3 creation thing near the end was a bit rushed and to some extent groan inducing (You’ll see why). Past that the only thing I can think to complain about is that there are shots of the film that are quite obviously shot in San Francisco, to the point where I was getting confused as to where the film was set and wondering if they were somehow rushing around the country. What else can I really say without giving away a whole lot of plot? As usual there are prolonged cameos for Raimi fans by Bruce Campbell, Ted Raimi, The Classic, and Scott Speigel (if you actually know what he looks like). Oh, and J.K. Simmons grabs just about every scene he’s in and runs with it. There, I’m done, go see it now. Or tomorrow rather. Whenever, just go see it. -Dracos

NRKANGEL

So I've got this friend who wants me to start a blog. Claims it'll help me clear out the cob-webby attic of my brain and leave room for new junk to pile up. Guess it could happen... This same friend was recently laid off by the company I work for and just moved 500 miles away this last weekend. :crap: We packed him up on Friday, Drove down on Saturday, unpacked him on Sunday and I flew back Sunday night to get to work Monday morning. (500 miles is 10 hours in a 3 car caravan with him, his wife and me each driving one vehicle... I got the one without air conditioning. You'd think I'd know better than to volunteer, wouldn't you?) At least the car I drove had a CD player, and being alone meant that I could roll the windows down and sing as loud as I wanted. So that was my weekend. Slave labor and driving under the influence of '80's music...(C'mon, sing it with me! "Everybody's workin' for the weekend..." [i]yeah baby, yeah baby...[/i]:wink:) Speaking of slave labor...They say that there's never a good time to jump out of an airplane in flight if it's not about to crash. (Parachute notwithstanding.) And yet I'm looking out from a metaphorical 10,000 feet getting ready to leap out into the unknown for no better reason than I think it's time. (In English: I'm leaving my job soon.) When my company laid off my buddy, I decided that the writing on the wall might as well be for me also. Funny thing. Our budget was worked out last year and everything seemed to be fine, but they changed management at our home office in Japan and it was decided that cuts needed to be made. Well, they cut my partner in crime (that I brought into the company four years ago) and told me that I would be doing the job on my own. Nice. They gave my friend a decent severance package, but that doesn't help much when the economy isn't so hot in the first place. (I work in the semiconductor industry - and a lot of those jobs are going off-shore - and I've seen a lot of people get laid off this last couple of years that had been with companies for ten or fifteen years.) Needless to say, I'm no longer a big fan of Dubbya... (Some say that he isn't to blame for the economy. Well, every damn time there's an uptick in the economy, some administration dipstick is on a podium in seconds claiming that the commander-in-brief is a genius. :disappointed:Tell them something is wrong and it's suddenly an inherited situation, or they were never informed. I'm not a big Michael Moore fan, but I'm not unhappy that he's made things more difficult for people in power. (That's it...political rant over.:bash:) So, with the job market being what it is, and my future plans being a long shot at best, it would be fair to wonder why I'm leaving a cushy, well paying job. To be honest, I dunno. Most of my friends are cautiously supportive, with one actually being very vocal about his approval. "You go, brah! Take life by the horns and snort it!" (Well, maybe he didn't put it exactly that way, but considering his track record with careers, he may as well have.) The rest of them look at me reeeeeally funny now when they think I'm not looking, and I can't really blame them. Still, the way I see it, I'm young enough to have time for at least one last shot at a new career, I'm single with no financial resposibilites or debts hanging over me, and I've got a nest egg that should buy me just enough time to take a good shot at it. (I keep clicking my heels together saying over and over, "this isn't a mid-life crisis, this isn't a mid-life crisis, this isn't a mid-life crisis" but when I open my eyes, I'm still me. Not a good sign.) I think maybe the worst thing about the situation is that I don't even know exactly when I'll be leaving. I told my bosses from Japan that I was getting ready to move on and the next thing I know, I'm talking to the bigwig himself who's telling me that there's no choice, I'm not really going, so I shouldn't worry about it. (Well you don't get to his kind of position without being able to do SOME creative negotiating.) In the end I

ZIL

I was more than upset yesterday, I have the marks to proove it. I just want an answer for all the pain. I want an end to the frustration . I dunno. I told my Dr that she's a bitch. its a the truth and she took it quite well. I started all of my sentances with "i" apparently I don't like variaty in my sentance structure. the pain was so bad today that my eye (on the side with the boner) is sluggish. its droopy and my head radiates with the pain of it all. still no word about what exactly is wrong with me. jonathan sent me home early from work because I look like I'm having a stroke. I JUST WANT THIS TO END. I got a letter yesterday from the joslin clinic (boston, affiliated with harvard university) I went down there a bit ago to set up a program with them to manage my diabetes. my hemaglobin A1c is 10.... thats.... very bad. not as bad as the whopping approximate 13 I had a year ago. I say approximate because there is no 13. its off the chart. word. anyhoo, the letter was like, "blah blah blah A1c 10 blah blah anemic blah" what? have a nice day, oh and by the way you're anemic? thats awesome. they also informed me that if I get too run down (the course I'm heading now looks that way) I'll need a tranfusion and my insurance wont pay for it. so... does anyone wanna give me some blood?

ZIL

I have scars like spiderwebs reaching out on my legs I have tears like arrows shooting down my body I have fears like monsters chasing around my head I have a voice like sandpaper rough, but warm in the sun I have eyes like glaciers blue with yellow in them I have creativity like a volcano spurting out of my soul I have a soul like a blanket covering all that I love I have a love like the sun hot, burning in my chest

ZIL

interesting idea, that gut reactions are something to be folowed. I don't think I can trust my gut, I have deceitful guts. they lead me into the middle of four lane highways and tell me to put butter on burns. the other side of the coin was that when we trust out minds instead of our guts we somehow fuck things up.... well my mind is ... trashy. when I was little I used to say I had pretty glass orniments in my mind. I can still see the picture I had of it in my head. shelves and shelves and cases of glass work, with the orange light of sunset flooding through it all splashing a colored glass shadow on the wall of the back of my head. as I grew every pain was one more thoughtless person knocking something over. until now when pretty much all thats left are shards of things that used to be beautiful. I can't trust my mind either. so where do I go? who do I trust when I can't trust myself? dude. brutal.