Male and Female Imponderables-Resurrected

POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Thursday, June 8, 2006 20:33
VIEWED: 21914
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VETERAN

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 10:13 PM

Quote:
Tristan wrote:
.... Sex with love is wonderful, but the sex without love is still quite good. I do not think I could get away with it now...I have to have some positive feelings towards the person.

I have one superpower

, which is possessed by at least 90% of all men in the world. I can have sex with a woman with no emotional attachment whatsoever and thoroughly enjoy myself.

.....At least I could before I got hitched back in '87.

SERYN

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 10:41 PM

I don't know, I used to be able to do that.

Although inever did one night stands, with regular partners sex used to be about company, comfort or stress relief, and only needed an attraction. But in the end it just got cold. And the last guy just managed to make me feel used, so I just gave it up.

I think a lot of guys are able to enjoy it, I had a pet thoery once that they were able to externalise it - focus on the physical pleasure, but keep it outside of them selves.
Where as with women it was a lot harder as their brains arn't always wired that way.
Plus theres the whole anatomy thing - in every encounter, for women, sex is an invasion. Theres a real risk involved, so theres always more thought needed, over and above 'this feels good'

But i'm likely wrong.

and as for the bi curious thing, everyone does go through the stage of questioning who they are. Do I do think its more socially acceptable for women to act on the impulses, theres still much more stigma attatched for men.

note how no-one yes has replied to my question of would they take part in a 2 men 1 woman threeway? (though it is possible that thats because the question got lost in the waffle)

By the way, my answer to that would be 'if it were Chrisitan Bale on one side and Sawyer from Lost on the other, honey i'm there already...

no, kidding, I don't know, never say never.

**********************************************************
Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

LEAINA

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 10:51 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by seryn:
note how no-one yes has replied to my question of would they take part in a 2 men 1 woman threeway?

Have done. Was lots and lots of fun. Especially since they were all (actually three blokes and me, could not belive my luck) straight and therefore entirely concentrated on me. I shit you not. It was fun. In fact it was so much fun, i wish that I'd had a little less to drink and so could have enjoyed it more!

SERYN

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 10:56 PM

i'm not ususally one to do this sort of thing, but as you enjoyed it...

YOU GO GIRL!

LOL, how did you get yourself into that situation?

LEAINA

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 11:11 PM

ok general warning, just shout "too much information!" if it gets too much.

Erm, I was in London a couple of summers ago and I got to know some guys in a bar over a couple of days. I really fancied one of them (half Irish, half Italian- fatal combination) and we flirted over a couple of days and I got to know his friends who were cool too. But I totally wasn't flirting with them, coz I was into the Irish guy.

So third or fourth day we all end up going clubbing together. There's much flirting with Irish guy and we decide to leave together. His friends are leaving at the same time, and in my tipsy boldness I asked some question like "so are you really good friends...?" in a playful, suggestive tone, totally not expecting anything to happen. But it did and we all ended up going back to one of the guys' home (really nice house- it turned out he was some high powered plastic surgeon). Then I went home and stayed over with the Irish guy then I left to go back home to Shropshire a few days later.

To be honest, I couldn't believe my luck either! I still don't really know how it happened. Right time, right place, right mood I guess.

We all exchange a few flirty fun texts from time to time, but I wasn't expecting anything out of the night other than to have fun there and then. Also the very fact I didn't really know these guys helped because of the lack of emotional baggage, we were just four people having fun.

So I feel fine about it now - that whole 'emotion' distancing thing you mentioned. I'm very good at that (a little too good but that's a whole other story).

Certainly something to tell the grandchildren about! [or maybe not]

SERYN

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 11:18 PM

yes, maybe not the grandchildren.

I just don't say things like that, or if ido it must be really obvious that i'm joking.

So half of me is say 'and thats a good thing...' a small part of me is yelling 'live a little' and the rest is staying suspiciously quiet.

**********************************************************
Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

SAMEERTIA

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 11:26 PM

Phew- where to start?

Tristan: Sorry! That's why I said, "typically"- In my experience most guys do go straight for the "threesome-plan". There are a few who are much cooler about it.

Threesome with two men is one of my hottest fantasies. Sadly, at this point, it's just a fantasy. Manitou is very very straight, and although we have friends who I would LOVE to share him with that way, it's not gonna happen.
I don't see him being comfortable with me fulfilling that fantasy with other men. At least, not in this point of our relationship. However, if Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp showed up on my doorstep tomorrow night, I would have to re-consider that whole open communications thing!

Leaina, WOW! Sometimes the fates just conspire, don't they?

Bisexuality; Yeah, I spent a lot of time saying "I'm not really bi, I'm just bi-curiously, but I'm really straight." (Uh huh. Keep on sayin' it girl!)
And then there was 9 1/2 Weeks, and I looked up at Kim Basinger- you know the scene I mean, in the slide-room? and said, Oh. I want that!

When I was doing workshops on sexuality on campus, people (usually parents trying to figure out what they did wrong that their child was gay!) would ask me "Is there an event that caused you to become bisexual?"

And I always have to answer, "Yes, it was called 9 1/2 Weeks, and the actress's name was Kim Bassinger." Usually gets a laugh, anyway.

SERYN

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 11:44 PM

If ever one woman caused me to cross over to the other camp, it could only be Claudia Black - I swaer, the first season of Farscape, she got as much eyeball time as Ben.

But like I said before, with women its a more aesthetic, intellectual attraction. With men its the whole hog, the day dreams, the fantasies and the wierd crunches in the pit of my stomach at the meerest thought of them, so I guess i'm straight.

Dammit. I need to find someone to have a crush on. The old one wore off.

Or maybe I just need to get back on the horse, all this talk and stuff on the Tree is just making me think that maybe i'm growing too up-tight and need to give relationships a chance again.

I bought this cracking top the other week, its almost entirely backless 'cept for the knot holding it together. Was a little worried about looking awful in it (i'm not the skinniest of people and it doesn't forgive) but maybe I should crack it out and go out more.

And on that thought. G'night folks x

**********************************************************
Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

VINTERDRAKEN

Wednesday, June 7, 2006 12:54 AM

Ive got a pondering. Although its probebly been discussed a thousand times in the previous imponderables.
Masturbation, good or bad?
Personally I do get the occasional boughts of shame from the act, but generally I belive that theres nothing wrong with it and that its usually healthy (just have to convince my upbringing of that )
Also, whats your preference. Personally I avoid using "aids" like porn and devices (dont really know if there are any for men?), my imagination is enough and I prefer to be nekkid. Im not really much for masturbating and dont do it often since I never really got as powerfull orgasms and physical closeness to other people is a big part in sex for me.

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

PHOENIXROSE

Wednesday, June 7, 2006 6:33 AM

Catching up here!
Okay, first off to Emma: Communicate, yes. That has been covered. If she is in fact interested in you, be very open and honest and careful with how you proceed. I have been on both sides of this issue; I fell madly in love with my best friend but she had no interst in me. We eventually grew apart, but it didn't have a lot to do with that. She was honest about it, and I appreciated that. I would have been completely up for experimenting with her if she had been at all curious, too. If it had turned out that she wasn't into it, I would have been a little sad, but I would have understood. On the flip side, I had a friend who expressed interest in dating me, but I wasn't comfortable with the idea for a number of reasons. We are still friends. So really it depends on what you feel for this girl. If you're attracted and she's attracted and also a really good friend, I would say that is totally the way to go.
Tristan, I can't speak for everyone, but I've known several women who never went through a "curious" stage of their lives. It's one of those things you just kind of know. I haven't had a serious relationship with a girl, but I sure have enjoyed kissing a few. And even before that, it was something I just knew. You probably knew you liked girls before kissing one, and it was the same with me. There are always different levels, though. Someone once described it to me as a parabola; the flat line on one side being completely straight, the other side being completely gay, and the curve in the middle being the varying degrees of bi-ness. There are those who can, say, appreciate how a member of the same sex looks but have no desire to sleep with them. There are those who might be attracted but don't feel the really strong draw. There are those that feel the draw, but not as strongly. And there are those right in the middle. I'm close to the middle, though I do have a slight preference for men when it comes to pure attraction. There have been women who make my color rise and my stomach drop without even saying anything, but it's less common.
I very much enjoy dating bisexual or bi-curious men because they get it; they understand on a personal level what it means. Threesome with two guys has the same amount of appeal to me as the other kind. As long as there was enough mutual attraction, I would be up for it. Haven't found people I want to have a threesome of any kind with yet, but I might one day. I agree, by the way, with the more "social" idea of being poly. Wouldn't want to go off on the side, so to speak, even with consent.
Yes, I have tried a few posisions from the kama sutra; they aren't all complicated. But some aren't possible without being a yoga master and/or having about five people involved. They are very, very nice.
Mastubation; couldn't live without it. I mean, right now, when I'm not getting anything else. It's never as powerful and I certainly can't go multiple, but it's still decent for what ails me. I am fortunate not to have had an upbringing that told me to be ashamed, so I have no problem with it. Devices are also very much required, as I tense up and arch when getting close and could therefore never keep my hand moving properly to actually finish. (I hope that's not TMI.) So I have several things that pulse and vibrate. My collection has unsurprisingly grown in the last few months. And yes, there are a few things for men, usually consisting of a "sleeve" of some sort, though they don't move by themselves. Apparently there is a masturbation machine that does move by itself and sells for a couple thousand dollars. There are also, of course, various dolls.
Ok, think I got everything there.

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