Male and Female Imponderables-Resurrected

POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Thursday, June 8, 2006 20:33
VIEWED: 21914
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TRISTAN

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 2:22 PM

MSG, I lived in Arizona towards the end of the 80's, and had the chance to date a Mormon (this was when I was 15-16). She came from a family of four girls, all their names began with "H"...Hailey, Hillary, you get the picture. Their parents were strict; no caffeine, no smoking, no pre-marital sex. They were expected to marry and produce a brood of their own. They were good people, but yes, they had odd ideas about the world. They never mentioned the polygamy thing, and I am pretty sure the father only had one wife .
Thanks for the memory jog!

Where abouts in Utah do you hail from? The above-mentioned family had it's roots in Salt Lake (I think all the Mormons do, don't they?).

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MAL4PREZ

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 2:33 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
I gotta question for the female BROWNCOATS out there. Do you like the old fashioned approach? I find it difficult to conduct personal buisness unless I present myself in a way that is more akin to a simpler time. Unless people know me very well they do not understand my reason for being honest and straight forward, (especially women folk). In one way I feel a bit emasculated by the female dominated society I feel is developing. In another way I feel very empowered by my ability to be a man and not treat women as mere objects, but as wonderful beings that deserve respct and honor. These things keep women away because they are unfamiliar with a guy that doesn't have to exert their masculine side. I live in a rural/military town where most single guys do this all the time. I guess my question is: Do women really want a sensative guy who actually cares about the feelings of others, or is that an outdated way of thinking?

This is such a tough one, and I feel for you because I've generally been in a similar (but opposite) situation of being girly and also so not girly. It's hard to find a place. Our society is soooo defined about how men and women should act - it's ridiculous.

My going theory is to be myself. ie - if you're sensitive guy, be sensitive with gusto. That way you'll attract the kind of woman who will appreciate you.

Although, I am a little confused by the 'female dominated society' thing. And which simpler time do you mean? It's my impression that there never was a simpler time - the complications just get forgotten.

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

MSG

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 3:48 PM

Hey Tristan I live in Salt Lake City:)

and may I just go ick over the sensitive guy thing. Sorry just not my thing,but as I have said previously..not very girly so take with a grain of salt. Jayne's my kind of guy

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

TRISTAN

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 3:56 PM

Never been there, but I do miss the West!

Sorry, got off topic...

I am currently out of Imponderables...I know there are things I would like to learn, but I can't think of anything right now. I'm good at the answering; not so good at the thinking-up part...

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NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 4:12 PM

Its not so much a female dominated society the way most people see it, but where I'm from is a very matriarchial society, (our tribes in this area have always had women leaders). Most people on the outside don't see beyond todays modern society. What you said makes sense about the complications being forgotten. The simpler time I mentioned is the time before this one. Where people married and worked their whole lives together. But, I do see that many of those peole were miserable. I mainly dream to find a bit of the determination and a piece of romance with very little mystery. Okay, maybe a little. Done rambling, need coffee.

MAL4PREZ

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 6:06 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Its not so much a female dominated society the way most people see it, but where I'm from is a very matriarchial society, (our tribes in this area have always had women leaders). Most people on the outside don't see beyond todays modern society. What you said makes sense about the complications being forgotten. The simpler time I mentioned is the time before this one. Where people married and worked their whole lives together. But, I do see that many of those peole were miserable. I mainly dream to find a bit of the determination and a piece of romance with very little mystery. Okay, maybe a little. Done rambling, need coffee.

Whoa - that was be weird. Matriarchal tribes and many military men. Odd mix.

So - there are many many times before this one, can you be more specific? There was a very different man/woman dynamic in the 19th century that seems quite romantic in bodice-ripper paperbacks, but hell no I don't wouldn't want to have lived then!!

Yeah - I figure that's probably not what you mean. I have known many women in the generation before mine (women now in their 50s-60s) who were told that if they really wanted to do something besides be married baby makers, they had to be teachers or nurses. They were flat out TOLD that, I do not exaggerate!

I'm not saying there weren't love matches, I know there were. I've met some of them too! But I think there were a lot of marriages that were more like a business partnership than a passionate desire for another person's company. "Woman must look good, make babies, and keep house. Man must make money, support woman, pay for kid's dental bills." That just seems so oppressive. *shudder*

I clearly have had all the coffee I need today, having a slight tendency to babble...

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

EMMARIGBY

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 6:13 PM

Quote:

Oh god, I've been a wild child. Yes, I've had cyber sex - only it's just like reading bad porn.

And yes I went through a faze of sleeping with everything that moved, be it man, woman (although thankfully not sheep) but like ghostrider, I think that subconsciously it was more a term of self-abuse more than anything else. [Scarily, why I really identified with S6 of Buffy with her realtionship with Spike]. Also I think it was just simple desperation- wanting to be close with people at a time I felt very alone. And I'm only 21 now, gorram I feel old.

Also Taya and Emmarigby (whom I'm sharing a room with for Serenity 3!!!) I'm soooo over that faze of my life! No worries!! I promise.

I'm not worried! Just grinning in expectation of fun drunken gossip! And tips!

________________________________

Hisssssss!

NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 6:19 PM

Babble on M4P. I just have alot of issues right now. It seems every time I get to rambling I am just trying to get my mind off of crap. I think it would be nice to have a significant other who want an equal partnership. Although, I wouldn't mind being a stay at home dad for a few years. And that whole 19th century bodice ripper pareback stuff might not be a bad idea from time to time. But more importantly I'd like to make babies and raise a strong stable family while taking my wife in a very manly fashion from time to time. I think mostly I want to revive alot of the posative old fashioned ideals that seem to be fading fast beyond the black. I want impressive, not oppressive.

NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 6:20 PM

Fun drunken gossip and tips. Where do I sign up?

EMMARIGBY

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 6:36 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
Never been there, but I do miss the West!

Sorry, got off topic...

I am currently out of Imponderables...I know there are things I would like to learn, but I can't think of anything right now. I'm good at the answering; not so good at the thinking-up part...

Well, I have a question. Or rather a situation I'm currently in.

My best friend since childhood told me a few years ago that she was bi-sexual (yay, we're a growing minority - although I hesitate to actually call myself bisexual till I've tried and liked it. Just mighty curious at the mo.)
Anyway, she came over to visit last weekend and we had a blast as usual. She brought the DVDs Secretary (very hot!) and The Story of O to watch. I also made her watch Serenity! Then on Sunday we went into Soho to buy fun toys from Anne Summers, then went on to the British Museum (from the ridiculous to the sublime!).

Plus, we were chatting about sex and I mentioned my current friend/ partner has expressed interest in a threesome some day (yes, the classic male response to hearing of an attraction to the opposite sex!

) She said that she wasn't interested in him in that way ... implying...! From all of this I started to get the feeling that she might be looking for something more from me (yes, it does take that big of a mallet for me to cotton on!) and I really didn't know what to do with that thought. I'd never really thought of her in that way. It's not that she's unattractive but I just know her so very well I'm not sure I could get over the ick factor (like sleeping with a sister!).
Plus I'd be terrified of loosing one of the most important relationships of my life.

So, I'm coming to you guys for your thoughts and advice. What should I do? Keep things light as I have been doing or take a chance and risk it all for uncertain results?

________________________________

Hisssssss!

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