Male and Female Imponderables-Resurrected
POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Thursday, June 8, 2006 20:33
VIEWED: 21914
PAGE 12 of 19
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Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Catching up here!
Okay, first off to Emma: Communicate, yes. That has been covered. If she is in fact interested in you, be very open and honest and careful with how you proceed. [snip] If you're attracted and she's attracted and also a really good friend, I would say that is totally the way to go.
Thanks everyone for your advice, even if it is terror inducing! (My palms go sweaty at the very thought of that conversation!) I'll let you know if anything ever does happen (I'd need bottles of Dutch courage), but seeming as she is heading off to teach in Africa for a couple of years soon it may all be moot (I'll miss her so!)
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Tristan, I can't speak for everyone, but I've known several women who never went through a "curious" stage of their lives. It's one of those things you just kind of know. I haven't had a serious relationship with a girl, but I sure have enjoyed kissing a few. And even before that, it was something I just knew. You probably knew you liked girls before kissing one, and it was the same with me. There are always different levels, though. Someone once described it to me as a parabola; the flat line on one side being completely straight, the other side being completely gay, and the curve in the middle being the varying degrees of bi-ness. There are those who can, say, appreciate how a member of the same sex looks but have no desire to sleep with them. There are those who might be attracted but don't feel the really strong draw. There are those that feel the draw, but not as strongly. And there are those right in the middle. I'm close to the middle, though I do have a slight preference for men when it comes to pure attraction. There have been women who make my color rise and my stomach drop without even saying anything, but it's less common.
That's exactly how I see it! I don't understand this rigid view of 'you're either that or that'. It's so clearly wrong. I know girls who are so straight they don't even like looking at a naked girl (but love naked men!), others that JUST like looking, then there's the touching and flirting...etc! I'm a bit odd in that I find more women attractive but flirt with more men. Guess I'm a bit scared and inhibited! What I found sad was that when my friend announced she was bi-sexual at Uni she got a lot of prejudice from her lesbian friends, who were all 'Oh you're just playing and that demeans us', or 'why can't you make up your mind'. You'd think that those who have been exposed to prejudice would be less inclined to judge but it's not always that way.
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A threesome with two guys has the same amount of appeal to me as the other kind. As long as there was enough mutual attraction, I would be up for it. Haven't found people I want to have a threesome of any kind with yet, but I might one day. I agree, by the way, with the more "social" idea of being poly. Wouldn't want to go off on the side, so to speak, even with consent.
I'd like to try but I'd have to know them very well. It could get physically intimidating and it would be even more important to not be too shy to say I don't like that or I want this (something I'm not great at!). By the way Leiana, 3 guys! I'm very impressed! You must have stamina! This has always been a recurring fantasy but I don't think I have the self-confidence to ever pull it off without getting really self-concious (3 men looking at me naked and comparing notes? Argh!)
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Yes, I have tried a few posisions from the kama sutra; they aren't all complicated. But some aren't possible without being a yoga master and/or having about five people involved. They are very, very nice.
Unusual positions are fun for playing but they can be awkward and painful. It makes me feel unimaginative but when I crave sex I always go straight for the doggie style or advanced missionary.
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Mastubation; couldn't live without it. I mean, right now, when I'm not getting anything else. It's never as powerful and I cert
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I've totally gotten the "You just can't make up your mind" attitude, though it's more from straight people, a few digs have come my way from both sides of the fence. It is ridiculous; we should really all stick together!
I love unusual positions! The only one I've ever found at all painful is basic cowgirl. I have no idea why. My fave is the Black Bee (I believe that is the correct name) which is, in fact, the one you see Mal and Nandi in during their little adventure. I just adore that one! But there are many others I love too. I don't even know if all of them have names! (Sure they do somewhere, just never found them) One is, I think, called "swimming". And then there's standing up, which was fabulous, but my boy didn't have the strength to keep us braced properly, so it was rather short-lived. Don't feel bad; there are many who consider doggie-style to be very outside the norm (did I mention I love that one, too?) and there's nothing wrong with missionary. It's not my favorite, but I enjoy it fully. Really, I have met very few positions I didn't like.
I, too, would have to be very comfortable to do the threesome/orgy thing. I have no problem talking about what I want, and even less problem saying "Yeah, don't do that" but it would be a matter of feeling safe. Can't remember who said it above, about sex always being an intrusion; you have to feel safe.
There are many couples who use toys on each other. The main thing is not to keep it all for yourself (use a small vibrating device on him; it can really work!) and never, ever, bring out a toy that is bigger than he is!
Oh, and toys with faces, I actually know the answer to that one. There's some law against manufacturing sex toys in China, so they give them faces and call them dolls. I am dead serious. The animals are for clitoral stimulation in most cases. Not sure why they're animal shaped; might be part of the same rules.
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Again with the fun imponderables! It's getting to be the first thread I check in the morning, `cause look at the topics!! And good thing we're online, because I generally can't talk detailed sex without getting all blushy. me -> 
You threesome-friendly women with all your toys - brazen hussies! I mean it as a compliment and bow to your wisdom - and also I ask this: I have no toys, but I'm thinking it wouldn't be a bad to change that. But I'm too embarrassed to go in a store! How do you shop?
Re the bi thing - I'm really not so into the female anatomy, I do like the outdoor plumbing. But I realized this past winter that I was totally attracted to a girl in my dance class. That doesn't make me bi though, it's her fault. A few of the gay guys said they'd change to the other side for her too, she's just that adorable!! 
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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.
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You know what's funny is that I work for an answering service and we had an account called "Shop Erotic" that ran infomercials for toys and sold them over the phone/net. Don't have the account there anymore, but I'm pretty sure they are still in business. They have cute, mostly feminine toys and offer discrete mailing; they are hand-crafted for ladies like you who don't want to go to a store! And if you order over their webiste, you don't even have to talk to anyone! (Although I was, of course, always very understanding and friendly to nervous callers I cannot speak for whatever new service they have answering for them.) And if they're not still around, there are several sites of that nature for your ordering convenience.
But really, you shouldn't be afraid of a store akin to Facinations; it's just the ones with blackened windows and "arcades" that you have to watch out for!
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Whoops! Lagging! Double post!
Look; lesbians! 
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Good morning, all!
Only have a little catching up to do, it looks like...
Masturbation. Yes, yes, and yes. It's good to know how one's own body works and to be able to give yourself pleasure. No toys are necessary, and an active imagination really helps.
Toys. I like toys, and would have no problems having one in bed, either. Just don't try to use it on me...I am not in need of any extra stimuli; intercourse itself is all the pleasure I'll be needing .
Thank you all for shedding some light on the bisexual question. It may not sound like it, but I do understand where y'all "stand", and I do not pass judgement nor condemn those that trip lightly down a different path. I just seek enlightenment...and thank you for the floodlights.
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I have a question and it is not so much about the opposite sex as it is about dealing with family when in a relationship.
Okay here is my story in a nutshell. I moved out right after I turned 18, bought a house, I work full time and go to school full time (which I pay for by myself). Anyways my family was distant (they have always been distant) but supportive and seemingly proud of my accomplishments. Then my boyfriend of a year and half moved in.
They have been demanding and bossy ever since. They have even gone as far as to say I'm living in sin. Ha, the only time I have been inside a church with anyone I'm related to was for a wedding, living in sin, bull***t. They keep telling us to get married and ask the Lord's forgiveness. GEEZE, who are these people, we have had people pregnant out of wedlock more than once in my family's history. Now granted everyone was married before the birth, but I'm not pregnant. So I should clarify it is not my whole family just this gossipy group of old women I am forced to call Aunt. My parents and brother are fine with it and supportive. It is just that these women make ALL holidays HELL. My guy is very supportive and his family thinks it is a great idea. Living together, see if it works before exchanges vows. So this just makes them clash when ever they run into each other. My family won’t stand up to old group of aunts but his will.
Any advice on dealing with hypocritical family members who can't deal with your lifestyle, and yes we have considered living in another state, but we really like his family, and most of mine.
Oh and any great comeback for these Questions:
When are you getting married?
Do you sleep in the same room?
You should stay at home let him work. (Okay not really a question)
Do you have sex?
When are you getting married? (The second time they ask)
You should return your dog, they aren’t good for children. ( not question either, but important, the dog, Argos, is my guys Birthday present and we are both still in college and well don’t really want kids period, but we haven’t told the families that because we would never hear the end of it)
~~River: Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logics. Doesn't make sense.~~
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Hmmmmmm, I could say "just wait for them to die" but that's hardly an immediate solution. Are you willing to flat-out tell them to butt out? I know that can't be easy to do, and they might be offended for awhile, but hell why not? They are offending you anyway. And maybe if they're offended they'll give you the silent treatment.
Snappy comebacks:
When are you getting married? - When we want to.
Do you sleep in the same room? - That's none of your business. Yes.
You should stay at home and let him work. - What? And let him have all the fun? (or) Well we could hardly afford the house or schooling without two paychecks!
Do you have sex? - ALL THE TIME!! (getting angry might actually be a good option. If they realize you'll be flippant and pissy when they ask, they might stop)
(second) When are you getting married? - Sometime after the rapture. (or, if you feel really nasty) Right after your funeral.
You should return your dog, they aren't good for children. - Oh but they make such lovely replacements for them!
This is just me, though. I don't take crap from my family. You should have seen me when my dad asked my if I'd kissed a girl with an odd look on his face. Oooooh man! He got the point real quick, and that led to faster acceptance of the whole deal.
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hmm, web surfing for sex toys. My favorite gay friend is going to help me make a match.com thing, I should make him help me shop for toys as well.
I'm actually half serious - he is sooo not shy about anything!
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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.
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Quote:
Originally posted by imaleaf:
I have a question and it is not so much about the opposite sex as it is about dealing with family when in a relationship.
Okay here is my story in a nutshell. I moved out right after I turned 18, bought a house, I work full time and go to school full time (which I pay for by myself). Anyways my family was distant (they have always been distant) but supportive and seemingly proud of my accomplishments. Then my boyfriend of a year and half moved in.
They have been demanding and bossy ever since. They have even gone as far as to say I'm living in sin. Ha, the only time I have been inside a church with anyone I'm related to was for a wedding, living in sin, bull***t. They keep telling us to get married and ask the Lord's forgiveness. GEEZE, who are these people, we have had people pregnant out of wedlock more than once in my family's history. Now granted everyone was married before the birth, but I'm not pregnant. So I should clarify it is not my whole family just this gossipy group of old women I am forced to call Aunt. My parents and brother are fine with it and supportive. It is just that these women make ALL holidays HELL. My guy is very supportive and his family thinks it is a great idea. Living together, see if it works before exchanges vows. So this just makes them clash when ever they run into each other. My family won’t stand up to old group of aunts but his will.
Any advice on dealing with hypocritical family members who can't deal with your lifestyle, and yes we have considered living in another state, but we really like his family, and most of mine.
Oh and any great comeback for these Questions:
When are you getting married? WHY ARE YOU GONNA PAY FOR IT?
Do you sleep in the same room? WHY? WANNA COMPARE SEX POSITIONS?
You should stay at home let him work. (Okay not really a question) WHY SHOULD HE HAVE ALL THE FUN?
Do you have sex? SEE ANSWER ABOVE
When are you getting married? (The second time they ask) WELL, YOU WILL KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT WHEN AND IF YOU RECEIVE THE INVITE
You should return your dog, they aren’t good for children. ( not question either, but important, the dog, Argos, is my guys Birthday present and we are both still in college and well don’t really want kids period, but we haven’t told the families that because we would never hear the end of it) WE DON'T HAVE KIDS, DOGS ARE MAN'S BEST FRIEND, AND IF THE HYPOTHECTICAL KID DOESN'T LIKE THE DOG I GUESS WE COULD RETURN THE HYPOTHECTICAL KID
~~River: Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logics. Doesn't make sense.~~
I am a bad bad person
I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"
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