Hunt for the Secret Hidey Place of Nice Boys
POSTED BY: mai
UPDATED: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 17:49
VIEWED: 58403
PAGE 26 of 28
Well, I've been following this here thread since it's inception, but it's taken up till now to actually catch up and decide to make a comment of my own.
Firstly, I have been, on numerous occasions, accused of being a 'nice guy.' Those words were usually shortly followed by "Let's just be friends." As a result of this, I tried to be the bad guy. I was able to do it, but I didn't like what I had become. Not that it didn't get me women, which it did. But I seriously didn't like being the a$$hole.
So here I am, back to the normal me, and I've stayed that way for at least the last 4 years. I'm 28, and unattached. I've never been married, and I've only lived with one woman... good thing too; had I married her beforehand, there'd have been blood. And probably not hers... I'm not quite strong-willed enough to convince myself to injure someone.(Read: I'm a wussy-man.)
I don't do bars, since the types of people you find in bars typically are either already attached, or are looking for the cut chest/6-pack. You can't exactly get to know someone's personality in a bar. Too much noise for that.
So here I am, on the raggedy edge. Unable to keep the a$$hole persona, yet not beautiful enough to attract women with my merits. So where do I turn? Well, I tried e-Harmony. Have you ever been turned down by a dating service?? It's humiliating. I went through and filled out their personality test, and they basically said "No, we can't take your money; you're unhelpable." Some bull crap about how 20% of those that take the test are incompatible with their methods. Wow, like that wasn't just hurtful. Maybe I'll go get turned down for a car loan, or maybe that Chinese black market adoption ring will frown on my credit score.
I've signed up for several of those personals sites that give you emails every week with matches that fit your desires. I only signed up for the free service, since I was wholly unconvinced that these services actually work at all. Did you know that, according to Yahoo, in my area alone, there are over 50 women that are 25 years old, have a job in computers, look drop-dead gorgeous, and are interested in "Arts, Movies, Dancing, Computers/Internet," in precisely that order, and with no other interests? In fact, at least 4 of them are twins with other women in Yahoo personals. I know this because they look exactly alike. /nod.
Of course, I'm also the kind of guy that's excessively shy arond women. The only women I have dated asked ME out, not t'other way around. Even during that a$$hole period, I could only get a number if they asked me.
So, just as a hint, we hide at home, playing our MMORPG's, or at work. I'm sure there are other places, but those are the only places you're likely to find me. Now I'm off to the movie theater tonight - to watch Zorro. I'm sure there'll be plenty of available girls there; too bad I want a woman.
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phew I think I finally finished reading most of this post. First thoughts: Ladies have you ever looked at yourselves to try to determine if you would attract "nice" guys? "Nice" is all relative anyway. I know plenty of guys who I would classify as jerks but most people classify as nice. So, I suggest trying to think like a "nice" guy and then figure out what to do to attract one. Being outgoing/aggressive is always a plus in my book. Us guys don't get subtle signals. Come over and talk to us. We get that one.
Quote:
Originally posted by Cybersnark:
I want a girl who's classy, geeky, highly intelligent, sophisticated, whimsical, critical (in the analytical sense), eloquent, doesn't mind junk food, watches cartoons and animé, likes sci-fi, plays video games, believes in the paranormal, wears a lot of black, won't try to get me drunk (I don't drink, don't feel the need to encourage me to, 'cause it'll just annoy me), and is okay with sitting together on the couch watching (way too much) TV.
People have told me my standards are too high. I usually reply that theirs are too low.
You make a good list sir. I want most all of that. I don't care about wearing a lot of black. I also don't care if she watches cartoons and anime or believes in the paranormal. The rest of it is pretty much right on. Some of my favorite times with past girlfriends has just been snuggling on the couch watching a movie or something. I've never been much of a drinker either. Just doesn't make any sense to me. I like my brain and it likes me. I don't want to poison it.
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Quote:
Originally posted by CallMeSerenity:
I LOVE BBC's P&P!! I hope the new movie coming out is as good. I'm worried, though. 2hr movie versus 6 hr mini-series. Guess I'll find out this weekend when I go see it!
Serenity, First Officer of Destiny
I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/
So, do you find that men are only capable of enjoying something like P&P out of a need to understand that perplexing thing that is Woman? (ie You've got Mail)
Nice and NotNice guys: please chime in. And how about that clingy girl question someone asked over the weekend, I think Lightmedark was the only one who answered this and I am curious about it too. I will always be single rather than clingy, I hope that doesn't doom me to spinsterhood. (Good thing I knit, just in case.)
m4p
Ask Dr. Science ... he knows more than you do.
"I have a Master's degree ... in science!"
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Okay Haiden Just told my life story (cept the nice guy and a$$hole part, I'd be an Arsehole (British) and I'm evil, not nice in anyway).
Completly evil. I'm so evil I fool people in to thinking I'm not evil, because it allows more oppertunities for evil.
How evil.
More insane ramblings by the people who brought
Remember, the ice caps aren't melting, the water is being liberated.
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The one woman I lived with: CLINGY with an uber-capital all of it!
The worst part was that she didn't show her true absolu-clinginess until after we had moved in together. If I answered the phone and said more than one sentence, the jealousy would begin. I suppose I could handle a bit of clinginess, but I have seen the dark side of clingy, and it's not a Bounce dryer sheet, let me tell you.
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Quote:
Originally posted by mal4prez:Quote:
So, do you find that men are only capable of enjoying something like P&P out of a need to understand that perplexing thing that is Woman? (ie You've got Mail)
Nice and NotNice guys: please chime in. And how about that clingy girl question someone asked over the weekend, I think Lightmedark was the only one who answered this and I am curious about it too. I will always be single rather than clingy, I hope that doesn't doom me to spinsterhood. (Good thing I knit, just in case.)
I've only known one guy that would watch Jane Austin with me, but he would never admit to it in public. And he was very sensitive. He's married now. Don't know what that means.
And, you know, I think it was Zoot(?) earlier that said it was the women who knew that they wanted that snatched up all the good men early on so there weren't any left for the rest of us (I'm paraphrasing here, obviously). But it has always seemed to me that it is the clingy (or co-dependent) girls that get married first. Like one of my college roommates who went through 7 (SEVEN!) guys in one semester before she latched onto the guy she ended up marrying. Talk about getting your MRS!
And if you end up being a knitting spinster for being independent and non-clingy, then I'll join you and we can knit together.
Also, this thread is getting way too long. We need a new one.
Serenity, First Officer of Destiny
I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/
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Quote:
Originally posted by CallMeSerenity:
I've only known one guy that would watch Jane Austin with me, but he would never admit to it in public. And he was very sensitive. He's married now. Don't know what that means.
I actually own a film version of a Jane Austen book (I will leave you to figure out which one it is) and I enjoy very much. In fact, I went to see it on the first real date I ever went on way back in my youth....
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Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
Just striking up a conversation about Serenity out of the blue works too.
Chrisisall, advice to the romance-seekers everywhere
Man! I wish I'd had that option years ago.
(Got myself a nice guy anyway.)
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Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
Here's another: watch Somewhere In Time(Christopher Reeve, Jayne Seymour, 1980) with a guy and see if he cries at the end. Any guy that don't cry- hit the ejector button.
Chrisisserious
Somewhere In Time has one of the best movie kisses EVER!
(I think my nice guy would have flunked this test. Hmmm. Think I'll have to rent.)
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Quote:
Originally posted by mal4prez:
Nice and NotNice guys: please chime in. And how about that clingy girl question someone asked over the weekend, I think Lightmedark was the only one who answered this and I am curious about it too. I will always be single rather than clingy, I hope that doesn't doom me to spinsterhood. (Good thing I knit, just in case.)
Depends on what clingy means. I want a girl who wants to be with me. I've told my female friends, which for some reason I have a lot of currently, that I don't like dancing and going to bars, but that if I was going with a girl I liked, I would happily go with a smile on my face. Not because I suddenly like either event, but because I want to spend time with that person. What we do together isn't as important as being together.
So, no I don't want a girl who just goes off on her own all the time. I want some clinginess.
However, if clingy is just another word for insanely jealous, then I don't want that. I'm going to have female friends and I want to be able to have a boys night out once in a while. I'm not going to cheat. It's not who I am. Which I find hard to get across to the jealous type girls. I don't know how to prove I won't cheat. I just know I won't.
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