Hunt for the Secret Hidey Place of Nice Boys
POSTED BY: mai
UPDATED: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 17:49
VIEWED: 58403
PAGE 24 of 28
Quote:Well, two out of four is. . . Well, it's something.
Originally posted by KayleeWannabee:
So...I'll ask the emotionally mature, intelligent, single, non-man-whorish guys on this list...
Quote:Hell no. As I told the witch(*) I dated in high school: Normal girls are boring.
do you secretly like "typical females?"
(* Not a personal editorial, she was a wiccan.)
Quote:A bit, and that's part of the charm.
Do women like me (and BlackEyedGirl and others) actually frighten and intimidate you?
I want a girl who's classy, geeky, highly intelligent, sophisticated, whimsical, critical (in the analytical sense), eloquent, doesn't mind junk food, watches cartoons and animé, likes sci-fi, plays video games, believes in the paranormal, wears a lot of black, won't try to get me drunk (I don't drink, don't feel the need to encourage me to, 'cause it'll just annoy me), and is okay with sitting together on the couch watching (way too much) TV.
People have told me my standards are too high. I usually reply that theirs are too low.
Quote:Clingy and helpless is usually only good to show off to. Regardless of our loyalty, devotion, or anything else, all guys like bein' able to show off from time to time. Doesn't necessarily mean anything's gonna come of it, it's just an ego thing. I'm confident this is just about universal.
Do you really prefer clingy and helpless, as long as she looks good naked?
If you can't do something constructive with your life, you should at least be able to do something that'll make people go "woah. . . That was AWESOME!!!"
. . . and then call the ambulance.
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We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.
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Note to XG about that "defending one's honor" stuff.
I'll defend my person and my property...but the state of my "honor" (whatever the hell that is!) is not affected by the opinions of those who would label me. The whole sticks and stones thing.
Calling me a whore, makes me....uhm, completely unchanged, and just my regular old self, and it makes you a guy that would call someone he doesn't even know a whore. So which one of us comes off looking better? 
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It's my job to incite powerful yearning in the hearts and loins of my clients. No, silly, I'm not a Companion...I work at an advertising agency.
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Is anyone tired of my quite large posts yet? haha
Quote:
Originally posted by BlackEyedGirl:
Wouldn't it be segue-way? When did this become a spelling bee??? Could you please give it to me (not like that pervs) in a sentence?
Yeah, it's segue...as in that was a smooth segue from the topic at hand to that of Firefly.
Quote:
The evolution of boyfriends:
Stage 1: Primordial Sludge (that first cheesy early high school boyfriend)
...
Stage 8: Homo Sapiens! Hooray! Its a real human being!! You will probably marry this one.
Between Stages 7 and 8 is where a lot of us get stuck, cos there's a buncha almost perfects in there.
I've always been at stage 8 more or less. I didn't date until I was 21. These views that I've outlined of mine, I've always had them. Being a military brat I never felt it right to get into a relationship due to there being no way of making it permanent, due to moving and minority. At 21 I was finally in a spot I had no reason to believe I'd be leaving anytime soon. I'm definitely not perfect (see trust and ivory tower issues).
On the issue of me being alone in my ivory tower...It's odd, no? I have no love for myself, but I can look down on others. How does that work? I think I've figured out why. I think it comes down to me wishing I was more like the throngs of people sinning in the courts below. Ignorance is bliss. I feel cursed with my intelligence. I wish I could have fun. I wish I didn't feel guilty about every pleasure in my life. So that's it. I would have self esteem if I didn't long to be like the masses.
Quote:
Now I've gotta admit, I'm no buddha on the mountain top. I have what you (lightmedark) would probably call loose morals. Just remember what is more important are the lessons a person takes away from any one mistake or accident or intentional (but questionable) move. If a person did something that from your ivory tower seems horrible, find out what they learned from it, cos if it was real bad, they learned a lesson.
...
LMD: I think you should go work at a homeless shelter or some place with a lot of people who I can tell you would look down upon, get to know them and their lives and their stories. Cos the more you do the more you will realize you truely cannot judge a book by its cover. People are always more than they appear to be.
Yes, you probably do (i think it's funny that you didn't capitalize any letters in my name now that your opinion of me has probably lessened ;p). I remember after reading your first post in this thread, long ago ;D, I was appalled. It seems people just make the same mistakes over and over again (no matter how bad). People don't learn. Look at me, I may have learned but nothing has changed...i'm still jealous, extremely over analytical, and aloof (funny as i put others above myself in most all things).
It's odd that my cousin and I get along as we do, the fact that only my mother is more important to me. He is what you call a man-whore, he's racist and sexist, and any number of other uncouth things. He is more or less the person and behaviour I loath. I often joke with him that with our two wildly different perspectives on all things (well, not all...we seem more or less the same people raised in different environments) that we see any problem from every angle and are unstoppable together for it.
As for the homeless shelter thing...I already work at a huge place full of people I probably look down upon for their moral decisions. It seems like hook up central where everyone has slept with everyone else, and there's nothing wrong with it. That's the atmosphere, anyway. I don't see how a homeless shelter could be more full of people I have such issue with. In fact I suspect there would be much less. I can't see how people, especially those that are homeless, would be more likely to be as loose as those that work where I do. As you can probably tell by now, it's sexual morals that I take greatest issue with. Other things are all of much lesser concern
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I'd just like to lend my support to KayleeWannabee - sounds like XG's been sniffing the Pax...
I'm not exactly sure how a verbal insult justifies physical violence - the finger, yes, but violence, no.
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Marry me right now CyberSnark. Please. It can be like one of those arranged marriages only where we already like the same things. Cos your list + my list = like the same!
I hate being told my standards are too high. When I was without standards everyone gave me shit, now thta I have standards everyone gives me shit. Can't win!
You Go CallMeSerenity!!!
LightMeDark the capitalization was not intentional, I got real lazy. Also you have the superior inferiority complex, you think you are better than everyone else, but still think you suck. Most of us suffer from this. And yea, being smart does suck (I don't get how being highly intelligent is tied to the sex-issue thing. Most of the really really genius people I know are the most sexually open minded and stuff, there's been a lot research done that correlates this, so I don't know if you are using intelligence as an excuse to sit in your ivory tower or not). I wish stupidity were painful cos then at least they might off themselves and make the world a better place for every one (yeah I'm mean). I only hang with the smarties cos the dumbies can only be entertaining for so long.
Also, dude, you are only 23, your views and stuff are going to change so much the more life experience you get (also the more relationship experience you get). I'm only 3 years older, but at 23 I was 2 years out of the worst relationship ever (trust me I've got you all beat), I didn't leave the house, was clinically depressed and watched too much TV and played too many board games. 3 years later I'm like a totally different person, but that's because I willed myself to be as such. I got out of the house and got back into the world. Being cloistered was killing me, but I was scared and full of judgements and misgivings and trusted no one. But then I realized this wasn't who I was, I am not that person, I was made that person and I could unmake it too. So I did, and now I'm back to my rockin' super cool ballsy girly self.
KayleeWannaBe: I got your back girl, go for it! Although I'm with you on the, bein' called a whore, when I know it ain't true don't really effect me one way or the other.
But seriously CyberSnark, MARRY ME!!! We can make this work! I swear it!
Black Eyed Gurl
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http://pluralofapocalypse.blogspot.com
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Inara: "Do aliens live among us?"
Kaylee: "Yes. One of them's a doctor."
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Hello XeroGravity
Quote:
Originally posted by XeroGravity:
Hello Kellaina
So a man called you a whore for refusing to "dirty dance" with him. And you did what?
You walked away? C'mon... fight for your honor... knee to the nuts, claw out his eyes, force him to listen to Yanni. Women are the masters of ruthless combat.
If women are the masters of ruthless combat, then doesn't the fact that I refused to fight him actually somewhat emasculating? Just a thought. Oh, and I didn't walk away, I and the guy I was with told him to screw off and he walked away.
Besides, he was drunk, it wouldn't have been a fair fight
. Quote:
Do you lack all compulsion to defend youself? If you're not a whore you defend your honor and go down fighting. If real men are in the room, they won't let a woman take a beating. And unless you're at a frat party at MIT or a bar in Southern California, there are real men present. Your defenders (whether they win or not) are the men you should be dancing with. Not the gucci Gotti-wannabe who calls you a whore, and pronounces "gangster" as "gangsta" ~ just gotta be suburban white kids. Pimpin ain't easy.
Well around here starting a fight is likely to get all the "real men" who rush to my aid arrested. Plus there's always the chance one of these surburban white "gangsta" kids is going to pull out some sort of weapon. And I'm not kidding.
Quote:
If none of the above applies, eat it up. You are what you eat, and if a man calls you a whore and you don't go down swinging, guess what...
Do I even need to finish that sentence?
Since when does any woman have to prove she's not a whore? The reason I originally responded to your post was to question the use of and meaning behind that word, I really don't think you understand what I've been trying to say. 'Whore' is a word used to denegrate women, often without cause. Girl won't dance/kiss/have sex with you? She must be a whore.
To me, that kind of thinking is sad.
Quote:
You've prolly never seen a real bar fight, filled with men who fight other men over women (ya honor counts). Or you go dancing in the lowliest most vile clubs on the face of the Earth (we used to call them meatmarkets). The only fighting that goes on there is between guys not trying to defend a woman's honor... they're just protecting their pissing ground. Don't go trashin my bitches and ho's.
I live in a college town. There are no 'real bars' here. Just meatmarkets. Which, for the record is why I rarely go.
And why is this relevant anyway? Are you actually making a point or just trying to make me angry?
Quote:
Or, you're a whore.
Gee, thanks. That means a whole lot coming from you. *rolls eyes*
Quote:
One of the above applies to you. Could care less which one it is, but one of them most definately "is". If you take namecalling like that from a man without fighting then you got what you deserved.
Fighting back and making a huge deal out of it only justifies the usage of it.
And maybe the guy was just trying to provoke a response? Sure looks like that's what you're doing.
Quote:
ps ~ if anyone ever claimed I love music from Barry Manilow, I'd tear their face off with my teeth and put their entire family on the K-mart mailing list. It's an honor thing.
*is tempted*
And thank you CallMeSerenity and KayleeWannabee; you both said aspects of what I wanted to say much more eloquently and nicely than the way I would have said it!
edit: missed a markup
Hell with this; I'm gonna live! - Kaylee "Serenity"
If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. -"Angel"
Browncoat? Canadian? Join us:
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Cybersnark wrote:
Quote:
I want a girl who's classy, geeky, highly intelligent, sophisticated, whimsical, critical (in the analytical sense), eloquent, doesn't mind junk food, watches cartoons and animé, likes sci-fi, plays video games, believes in the paranormal, wears a lot of black, won't try to get me drunk (I don't drink, don't feel the need to encourage me to, 'cause it'll just annoy me), and is okay with sitting together on the couch watching (way too much) TV.
People have told me my standards are too high. I usually reply that theirs are too low.
...
Crap, We're looking for the same girl. 'Cept she can feel free to get me drunk and take advantage of me.
Quote:
If you can't do something constructive with your life, you should at least be able to do something that'll make people go "woah. . . That was AWESOME!!!"
. . . and then call the ambulance.
...
Reminds me of the "famous last words" of the typical Redneck male......"Hey man, watch this...."
Visit WWW.Marillion.Com for a better way to live
"Dreaming the dream that only the sleepless know."
"Say you understand me, And I will leave myself completely.
Forgive me if I stare, But I can see the island behind your tired, troubled eyes." -Fantastic Place (Marbles) -Marillion
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BlackEyedGirl wrote:
Quote:
I wish stupidity were painful cos then at least they might off themselves and make the world a better place for every one (yeah I'm mean). ...
You, ummm...wow. You're perfect. I must now retire to find a way to make stupidity painful, fatal would be better, but I can work with painful.
Visit WWW.Marillion.Com for a better way to live
"Dreaming the dream that only the sleepless know."
"Say you understand me, And I will leave myself completely.
Forgive me if I stare, But I can see the island behind your tired, troubled eyes." -Fantastic Place (Marbles) -Marillion
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It's a great thread Mai. It's a crying shame that I can only get about a third of the way through it and then my computer starts making like a jammed printer.
As much as I would like to, I can't tell you where the nice guys hang out. There is no fraternal order of nice guys. It isn't something that they tend to bond around. If you want to know if a guy is nice you best ask for refferences.
Someone said something about wether or not they get moist eyed to a certain movie. That isn't a real test, the guy could just be a sap.
Blackeyedgirl: For god sake, don't settle! There is no sin in being over thirty and single. If you have to kiss some frogs on the way to finding your prince then do it and protect yourself on the way. There are always snakes in the grass out there just pretending to be nice guys, so beware!
Thre is a possible third option between settlers and fighters: lawyers. Lawyers will fight like gladiators till they decide suddenly to settle.
Some of the qualities that have been listed seem almost contradictory. Having a spine and being willing to compromise? Hey I let the small stuff slide because what's the point of fighting over a toothpaste cap. If she wants the seat down fine. If there is something I want my way I ask first. I haven't had to insist yet in any of my recent relationships.
Am I a nice guy? I don't feel I'm qualified to answer that question.
Scorp
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Quote:
Originally posted by BlackEyedGirl:
you have the superior inferiority complex, you think you are better than everyone else, but still think you suck. Most of us suffer from this. And yea, being smart does suck (I don't get how being highly intelligent is tied to the sex-issue thing. Most of the really really genius people I know are the most sexually open minded and stuff, there's been a lot research done that correlates this, so I don't know if you are using intelligence as an excuse to sit in your ivory tower or not). I wish stupidity were painful cos then at least they might off themselves and make the world a better place for every one (yeah I'm mean).
Ah, mostly right I suppose. There are plenty of people I see as above me. I know it's me there is something wrong with. My views are deeply set, though. I've had attractive women more or less tell me they want to have sex with me when I'm completely drunk, but I don't waver from my values. It's just a part of who I am...I fear to ever turn my back on that I destroy myself and belittle the life I've led to that point (which is probably worth belittling). On the stupidity part...yeah. I've told people before that if I knew that my death would wipe out the human race, I'd sacrifice it in an instant.
I didn't intend to construe that my intelligence has anything to do with my views. I'd certainly never even thought of it. I find it odd (and completely logical at the same time) that genius people tend to be the most open about sex. Perhaps it's just my particular mix of traits. There are a couple of things here that bother me. I won't go into them as they may be too explicit for a public forum.
I don't have an excuse for sitting alone in my ivory tower.
Quote:
Also, dude, you are only 23, your views and stuff are going to change so much the more life experience you get (also the more relationship experience you get). I'm only 3 years older, but at 23 I was 2 years out of the worst relationship ever (trust me I've got you all beat), I didn't leave the house, was clinically depressed and watched too much TV and played too many board games. 3 years later I'm like a totally different person, but that's because I willed myself to be as such. I got out of the house and got back into the world. Being cloistered was killing me, but I was scared and full of judgements and misgivings and trusted no one. But then I realized this wasn't who I was, I am not that person, I was made that person and I could unmake it too. So I did, and now I'm back to my rockin' super cool ballsy girly self.
By your thought (and my own admission) I've no right to even have a relationship at this point, right? I won't be getting any more relationship experience unless I have the bad judgement of letting someone get involved with me.
I dont want anyones pity, I only say this for perspective. People always freak about this stuff and think it's so sad, but it's normal for me. The taboo over discussing ones problems doesn't stay me. I was diagnosed clinically depressed right around my 9th birthday, as bipolar sometime later. I know my psychosis is small time, but it still colors everything for me. I really haven't changed in any fundamental way. Sure, I've changed. Everyone changes...but for the most part the views I have now are more or less the same ones I've nearly always had (albeit in a more childish fashion before). Sure, despite myself I do think something will change in the next few years. It has to. I just dont' see how. I really almost have to have something traumatic happen to change. I'm so deeply set in my beliefs.
I have more to say (do you think I'll ever stop?), but my cousin just called, and he needs a ride. So I'm off to the rescue!
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inch towards daylight
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