Hunt for the Secret Hidey Place of Nice Boys
POSTED BY: mai
UPDATED: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 17:49
VIEWED: 58403
PAGE 18 of 28
Ahhhhhhh! Convolution, thy name is Zoid.....
I've missed you greatly, my friend.
Mal-licious
I'm going to add cursing and the hurling about of things to my repertoire.
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Cool...a Firefly hookup thread! ;) Kidding...
If I knew where the nice guys are, I'd be dating one. The last guy I dated turned out to be "nice" in the sense of opening doors, etc., but not nice in the sense of being a total pothead and stealing from me. Hrrmph. THAT was character-building!
I find, as a smart, non-average woman who doesn't look like a supermodel, that 98.97% of men will not look at you twice if you're not "hot" enough to appear on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.
A close male friend (straight) told me once that in the first 10 seconds after a man sees you, he's asking himself, "would I do her?" And if the immediate answer isn't "HELL YEAH" then he puts you into a "sexless friend" silo, from which you will never emerge as far as he's concerned.
So it's possible that I am surrounded by "nice guys," but they'd never consider dating me because I failed the 10-second test with them. And I'm not a troll, seriously. I'm a size 14, take care of myself, am well-groomed, etc.
Hrrrmph. Admittedly, I'm bitter. I signed up for eHarmony last week. Out of 8 MILLION members, I have been matched with SIX men. The only one I was even vaguely interested in closed me out immediately.
But I have my Mal fantasies to keep me warm.... :D
Holy crap....this post is sad and pathetic. Somebody tell a joke!
-----
It's my job to incite powerful yearning in the hearts and loins of my clients. No, silly, I'm not a Companion...I work at an advertising agency.
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Good to be back(ish), Mal! And if any of youse guys are looking for a good girl, Our Goddess of Love, Mmmm-Ahhh-Licious is the lady for you. Okay, so replace 'good girl' with 'the right kind of bad girl', and 'Goddess of Love' with 'Goddess of Unbridled Lust'... Truth in advertising, and all that...
There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead;
And when she was good
She was very, very good,
But when she was bad she was terrific!
That's our 'Lishy!
Badly,
zoid
P.S.
What's that whirring and thumping noise? Oh... It must be Longfellow doing about 1000 RPM.
_________________________________________________
"I aim to misbehave." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity
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KayleeWannabee-
Holy crap....this post is sad and pathetic. Somebody tell a joke!
Knock Knock...
Who's There?
The interupting cow.
The Interupting co...
MOO!
Hope that brightens your day, one of my fav jokes...that is not horrible dirty...and inappropriate in most conversations.
You can't take the sky from me...
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LightMeDark (a stagecraft reference?) wrote:
Quote:
I'm honest with myself...I know my "shortcomings," but it seems I'm completely and utterly unable to remedy them. Of course that's fallacy, I can surely change, yet trying all these years has gained me nothing. I try to inch towards daylight, but the sun pulls farther ahead with every step. Really, I think it comes down to my personal code of ethics. For any progress to occur I need to abolish that code, but in doing so I destroy myself as that code defines me. Perhaps that is an abyss I will attempt to cross. To quote some lyrics of a song that helped me through one of the worst periods of my life "We'll burn this mother*er down, Tomorrow we start again." Should I tear it all down to see what rises in my place?
Well, this is a Firefly website, so...
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the Courage to change the things I can;
and the Wisdom to know the difference.
There are things we cannot change about ourselves. I'm not talking about genetically determined factors like our race or gender, either, but parts of our fundamental personality. Just as a f'rinstance: It really burns me up when people talk about 'converting' gays into heteros, because being gay is only a lifestyle choice. One of the "tools" Jadehand was alluding to that I've found indispensable in my life is the old Amerind adage that if you want to understand a fellow human, you must first walk a mile in his/her moccasins. Suppose the societal norms were reversed and I -- a hopelessly heterosexual male -- was forced to hide my overwhelming attraction to females? Would trying to make myself normal in this fashion make me feel any less distracted or disoriented around an attractive female? I don't think so. The only change would be purely cosmetic, an external image that wouldn't reflect the internal me.
My problem is that I'm an a$$hole. (No, really!
) I don't mean the kind that abuses people intentionally, but rather the kind that dominates every conversation and stifles other people's need to express themselves. Many on this board will attest to this fact. But, the written word at least allows an opportunity for others to respond -- "to get a word in edgewise" as my father used to say -- before I go gallivanting off on another tangent. Now, just imagine being in a room with me... (NB: My wife is truly a saint. Any other woman would've strangled me in my sleep, years ago.)The good news is that I can also be totally withdrawn and uncommunicative, to the point that it hurts other people's feelings. Basically, I go through periods in which I'm intensely examining some idea or train of thought in my head, and can't be bothered with outside distractions (meaning my loved ones, friends and coworkers attempts to communicate with me).
Realizing how this behavior affects others -- by visualizing myself in their position -- I learned to leave room for others to speak, to consider how my choice of words might affect them, and to make myself available to them during my periods of introspection. Have I perfected this methodology? No. But, I am striving every day toward that perfection, even though I know I can never fully succeed because my personality -- my nature -- is what it is.
Which brings up the last invaluable tool. I forgive myself for being fallible. I know I'm trying my best -- on most days -- so I don't beat myself up for being an a$$hole. But forgiveness is a two-way street. If we want it for ourselves, we must be willing to give it to everyone else we meet, too. Slip into their moccassins and see if they're not just like you: lost and confused, and simply trying to find their way in the darkness.
Everyone needs forgiveness. We are all flawed. We all have that in common. No one is alone in being imperfect. If you can see that, you're on your way to inner peace and self-acceptance.
(NB: There'll still be bills to pay and toilets to unstop, so don't get too happy about your prospects.)
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Quote:
Originally posted by mai:
I started my own thread! YAY ME!
So here's the thing, we know there are nice men out there somewhere.
Our goal: To find them and capture... umm ask them nicely to come out and play.
The question remains where is said hidey hole and how do we get to it.
Portals?
Planes?
Time Travel?
If this thread makes sense to you... yay! If not, then all shall be revealed, so stick around.
Mai-Mai
Newest Offical Randomn Girl!
THREAD CLOSED....
Only joking, its just my time spent on other forums where we couldn't make threads like these.
I'm a guy, question still lingers as to whether I am nice
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Q: Why don't we just raise the defensive shields?
A: A superb suggestion with just two major drawbacks. One, we don't have any defensive shields. And two, we don't have any defensive shields. Technically speaking thats only one flaw, but it was such a big one I thought I mention it twice.
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Quote:
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the Courage to change the things I can;
and the Wisdom to know the difference.
Words to live by. I believe it with all my heart, I just have a difficult time putting it into practice.
Quote:
I can also be totally withdrawn and uncommunicative, to the point that it hurts other people's feelings. Basically, I go through periods in which I'm intensely examining some idea or train of thought in my head, and can't be bothered with outside distractions (meaning my loved ones, friends and coworkers attempts to communicate with me).
Holy
! Are we twins? I've always thought that this was one of my major flaws. The trick is to explain to those that care that it's not personal. If they love you and they are very, very, very...etc. patient then it's not always a bad thing. Quote:
And for those who are having trouble finding someone to love and in return be loved, try focusing on finding a beautiful soul and paying less attention to the meat package it comes in.
Whether, you admit it or not you are a nice guy. Anyone who can give this advice and follow it for themselves is well ... SHINY. Or at the very least, as someone mentioned earlier, have learned enough through experience, that the "not nice" edges have become worn down. And that is one hell of a head start!
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MAJOR SPOILER ALERT!!!!! If you're looking for the key to the whole 'why are there no nice guys' mystery, it's all contained in the section below:
Select to view spoiler:
I remember hearing Adam Corolla say once (paraphrasing here), "The problem isn't that there are no nice guys out there. You meet nice guys every day. You meet them at work, you meet them at school, you meet them at church, at the supermarket; in fact you probably know nice guys pretty much everywhere you go. There's only one thing wrong with all these nice guys: you're not romantically interested in any of them whatsoever."
Take it from someone who's done years of personal research on the subject: any guy who's nothing but nice, polite and accomodating to women will always find himself in the friend zone, a place none of us guys want to live.
"C'mon, Kaylee. We all know I'm the funny one."
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Quote:
Originally posted by TotallyFryed: Take it from someone who's done years of personal research on the subject: any guy who's nothing but nice, polite and accomodating to women will always find himself in the friend zone, a place none of us guys want to live.
I disagree! I had an acquaintance in another fandom who I got to know through various fanclub activities, etc. Had a huge amount in common, had a great sense of humor, was always very NICE, etc. I totally fell for him...which was a shame, because he was busy with his own unrequited love deal.
-----
It's my job to incite powerful yearning in the hearts and loins of my clients. No, silly, I'm not a Companion...I work at an advertising agency.
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Don't forget, the 'friend zone' works both ways buddie. This is of course coming from what I call a 'buddy-chick' which is the chick that gets to hang with the boys, and occasionally gets to have sex with one of them, but whom none of them would ever seriously date (because they say things like 'i don't want to be in a relationship' and then WHAM! they end up in one, right after crushing 'buddy-chick's' hopes and dreams, no I'm not bitter).
As someone who's recently been crushed by the gigantic arm of 'friendship' I've gotta say, I still believe that you should only date people who you would be friends with, cos if you wouldn't be their friend outside of yoru relationship what in the hell kind of person are you dating??
Any and all intersted men-folk in the greater Wisconsin area are encouraged to gimme a shout, cos I'm willing to try anything at this point, and hell, I already know we both like Firefly! That's a good starting point right?? PM me or check out my blog for more info and peering into my deranged mind. (there's also photos there)
My god I just pimped myself! I feel kinda dirt-er okay about it though....
-BEG out...
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http://pluralofapocalypse.blogspot.com
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Inara: "Do aliens live among us?"
Kaylee: "Yes. One of them's a doctor."
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