I don't really know how much there is left to tell here. There'll probably be a few more chapters as the truth of the history gets revealed. Also? I should never write in the middle of a flu haze. Ever. I still don't know what I've got and what I haven't, but I've written and rewritten and re-rewritten until I can't see the forrest for all the splintered trees.
Rating: PG (for language).
Disclaimer: Only one is mine, the rest belong to Joss.
Comments: I think it makes sense, let me know if it doesn't. And you *know* I just rewrote some paragraphs after briefly previewing this page, because I am still edgy. That's it... *flick* it's done. Posted, viola. No more rewriting.
Previous Chapters:
, , , and . *** Chapter Six: *** "They're dead, they're dead, they're all dead." Becca whispers it over and over, rocking back and forth, she's been whispering it for hours now and her voice is getting higher. "They're all dead." "Shh." Kaylee hums it between her lips, alternating between her and James in her arms as he gnaws compulsively on the biscuit she shoved at him from the bare supplies to keep him quiet. "It's gonna be fine. Shh." "Shut the hell up." Whispers the voice behind her. "You're gonna get us killed, kid!" "Would you leave her alone?" Kaylee's had enough and she bites down on her own fear. "Can't you see she's scared out of her head? Isn't it bad enough all her family's out there, everyone she knew? You gotta yell at her more?" "Oh, right, sorry." But he doesn't sound it. "Thought I was tryin' to keep us all from bein' eaten. Which includes your kid an' you know it. She needs to fuckin' shut up, right
I was on edge from the flashback, and then Jayne's sorrow over missing time with his son broke my heart. And then the crew's exchange over Mal and Jayne's whereabouts made me laugh out loud.
You write everything so well, from tragedy to comedy, and all in the same chapter. Not to mention while sick with flu! You're amazing.
As long as you keep writing, I'll be here to read it.
And Mal....so like him to want to dive in to protect his crew....
Ending's shiny....maybe some good can come from the bad, hmm?
BEB
I love it! Mal and Jayne talking (reminiscent of the end of Jaynestown, which I loved), Mal and Inara cuddling with the baby, the crew watching...Mal's threat - all so wonderful.
I'm almost glad I'm sick today so that I had the leisure of reading this morning without rushing off to work!
*bows to the Queen of Jaylee* How can anyone question the 'rightness' of Jaylee when you write it so beautifully!
Thank you , Jacqui!
I'm sorry that you've been sick; hope you feel better (and write more!) soon!
Wonderful as always. Write more soon!
<As he watched, Jayne put the rawhide down and lifted up his hand, opening his palm and spreading out his fingers. Mal couldn't help looking at the lines of it, the deep grooves of the man's life, the tiny space it contained within.
"You can hold 'em with one arm, their little heads just sittin' there and their legs barely reachin' your elbow. Just trustin' ya to keep 'em safe.">
Powerful stuff.
/M
Oh...my heart's going to melt....
That was just perfect and brought a smile to my face.
Simon's conversation with River was heartbreaking. I could see him leaving over this. Would probably like to see him leave rather than have to see what is going to happen with Jayne and Kaylee. He does love Kaylee and staying is probably going to hurt him more than if he left and tried to forget or make a life for himself and move on.
Jayne missing time with his son was so sad but true. Oh and to have Mal see how Jayne can comfort Kaylee...perfect.
I gotta say that being a Jaylee convert I'm still totally interested in the other characters. The scenes between Mal and Inara and the rest of the crew finding them...I want more of that too!
/M
I'll second that!
Interesting to hear Simon's thoughts. At least he realizes how much he screwed up and that he wouldn't have been able to deal with Kaylee had she stayed.
Hopefully there will be at least a couple more chapters, with a shinier Kaylee and the promise of a relationship.
Feel better soon.
b
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