Blue Sun Room FICTION - DRAMA

Choices

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Ninth and final in the "Didn't Mean Nothin'" saga. Jayne/Kaylee. Kaylee/Simon.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3699    RATING: 9.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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All I ask is that you don't kill me.

I know there are a lot of Simon/Kaylee supporters reading this and I know there are a lot of Jayne/Kaylee supporters too.

You know what they say, you can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time.

Just... you know... don't kill me.

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(banner and 'secrets' icon by andraste_tree, 'beggar' icon by the lovely RinnyPJ)

Previous chapters to be found: 1. , 2. , 3. , 4. , 5. , 6. , 7. and 8. .

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Disclaimer : The usual drivel, it ain't mine and never will be.

Rating: This part, G.

Comments: Written at 4.30am under heavy influence of the flu. This is what you get.

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9. CHOICES.

Kaylee sat at the head of the table. It felt strange, so very strange, to be sitting in the seat that was universally Mal’s. Her hand clenched and unclenched on the table top and she watched her fingers curl into themselves, unfurling open and empty.

Her head was loud, full of a thousand thoughts and recriminations. The room was loud, full of confusion and resentment and the rest of the crew taking their places at the table, their eyes boring into her. It was all loud, but she was stuck in silence, the inability to swallow,

Comments
LEIASKY
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 17:36
As soon as I started reading this chapter, I knew where it was headed.

I figured you'd pair her with Jayne again, since that's the pattern with your other fics. I confess to being quite happy that you veered away from that expected ending.
MIRANDAISTHEKEY
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 17:42
HOLY GOD!! i wanted Jayne to get Kaylee. you see all the ones with simon and kaylee. i wanted him to have her. THAT'S SAD. andit's the last one. awwww. i'll just pretend that jayne goes after her.
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 17:49
oh my lovely Jacqui, there you go breaking my heart! But I agree, the ending fits with the story and all of its beautiful, painful emotion.
I loved this series, not because it's sad (though really, I LOVE the ones that hurt) but because it's so carefully thought out and (as always!) beautifully written:)

Now, that being said, WRITE US SOME HAPPY JAYLEE!!!
(sorry, it looks shouty, but I'm really pleading...begging...on hands and knees [wink]).
Happy, fluffy, smutty Jaylee.
Hell, throw in Simon too. I'm not against threesome action!
(ok, since it's clear my dirty mind is getting away from me, I'll stop babbling now...)



(please...grace us with some more!)

[maantre - too busy begging to log in]
RAVENHAIR
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 18:00
Final???!!! *shakes head uncomprendingly*

oh, the heartache, *sob*, *bows head to queen*

I will accept this as the end as long as you get back to the other fics asap!
BRITCHICK
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 18:09
Oh gosh. I don't really know how I expected it to end...I was hoping for a happy Jaylee ending I think, but I see that you really had no other way out.

Buty how will Serenity manage without Kaylee? She's what leeps the family together!!

Thanks for a great story...and I'm OK because we've still got "Best Deceptions" running in the background :-)

ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 19:01
A daring ending to a challenging story. This series is art -- sheer poetry. The only thing that could be more exquisitely painful is the actual farewell.

And then there's Mal, again, letting a woman he cares about -- just leave! So in character.

Awesomely sad. And just ... awesome.

Sorry to hear you're suffering from the flu. It's astounding that you can write like this while sick.

- Vivian
SQUISH
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 19:24
I can't believe I'm going to say this, but this was exactly what I wanted for an ending: Kaylee being strong. She really beat herself up in this fic, and the only way out was really for both relationships to end (it really pains me to say that!).
--I'm trying not to blame you for hurting them all so much ;)

It was wonderfully written, Joss could take angst lessons from you. Now back to the other fics and on to the new!

hope you feel better soon.
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 19:28
Personally, it's what I would've done too. Cuz I'm a masochistic martyr. That said, you should expect death threats that can only be appeased by hints of a sequel.
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 20:00
No this is true Kaylee, running away instead of taking the chance to hurt either of them. She would rather surrender all of the very things that have become a part of her: Serenity, the crew, the Black. She knows they need her, she knows they love her and that she loves and needs them. Stupid selfish little twat. This doesn't make it better FOR ANY OF THEM. Who knows and loves Serenity the way that she does? Jayne and Simon will hate themselves and each other. This is real. She refuses to choose, thus making the most cowardly choice possible.

ZOES PISSED OFF BACKUP

P.S. Jacqui you are a genius
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 20:19
Brilliantly written (doesn't mean I like the ending, but it is brilliant.)

I need to go buy more tissues.
AYRAD
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 21:18
I'm so torn up now I even lost my will to do anyhing...
I'm sure Simon will get over it in time and get back worrying about River like nothing has ever happened, but Jayne, oh God Jayne, he will be broken forever...do you realize what damage you done to him??? May Kaylee spend in the dark the rest of her fearful life...


BSCPANTHERFAN
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 21:37
Fine writing. A twist of the knife worthy off Joss, without actually killing anyone off. Now I only hope your muse grabs you and makes you continue it! Get well soon!
HISGOODGIRL
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 22:21
J - I understand why you had to handle it this way. Your work, as always is amazing. And sometimes excruciating and heartwrenching.

I think I need a good cry now - for all of them.
CHESHIRE
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 22:27
My favorite story endings are not the ones that make me happy for all the characters involved - they are the endings that are an appropriate fit with the course of the plot and the evolution of the characters. You've done that here. All of these actions and reactions are true to the characters you created. Thanks for an excellent read, and keep up the great work!

Of course, a small part of me is also picturing a sequel fic, set 2 or 5 or 10 years down the road...
AMDOBELL
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 23:24
I had a feeling this was going to happen, not exactly Kaylee making a choice but running away from having to choose Simon or Jayne, knowing the other one would be left heartbroken. Now they are both going to be heartbroken along with the loss and pain to the rest of Serenity's crew. Oh Kaylee, wish you had learnt that lesson from Inara. You can run all you like but you cannot outrun the longing in your heart. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
TAMSIBLING
Wednesday, 22 March 2006 03:25
Okay, now I understand tension as much as the next gal, but Serenity without Kaylee is like cereal without milk. How can that be possible?

There has to be a way for them to fix this. Um, let's see ... Jayne could leave?

I'm not a Kaylee/Jayne shipper, can you tell?
CANTONHEROINE
Wednesday, 22 March 2006 03:31
And the end, nobody wins.

*sigh*
This fic has been painfully true-to-life for me, and this installment is no exception. I've said before that Kaylee is inherently selfish despite her shiny happy exterior, and her decision here just proved it for me. She's making out that she's doing this for everyone else's sake, but it's really only to make herself feel better. She'd rather run away than take a stand, make a choice and live with it.

I still want to strangle her, but you could probably soothe my homicidal side my writing more Jaylee fluff. I wanna go live in a happy little cotton-candy fantasy-world for a while so's I can recover from this emotional rollercoaster ride.

You're a phenomenal writer, Jacqui. Keep it up.
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 22 March 2006 03:45
I can't believe this one has ended.

:-(

I had a feeling once I started reading that Kaylee would bow out of the fight and leave. You are an Angsty Goddess and I bow to your mastery of the emotional turmoil they've all felt in this fic.

Seriously going to have to reread this all again. Until you put up some more Jaylee that is.
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 22 March 2006 05:11
i really enjoyed this....i'm a jayne/river shipper, so i'm cool with her not ending up with jayne, but serenity cannot fly w/o kaylee!!! this was very well written and so very angsty...no one ended happily ever after..keep up the great work!
WINTERHART
Wednesday, 22 March 2006 05:58
Well done! I confess to not being much of a fan of the angst, but this was well-done, and I like your choice of ending. Because really, it's the only thing that she in any sort of good conscience could have done :-/

Bravo.
BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER
Wednesday, 22 March 2006 06:27
Oh...this is some mighty good fic, Jacqui....depressing and painful as all hell, but definitely something I could see happen.

Really, I ship for Simon and Kaylee...but I have honestly felt Kaylee's shininess would have been tempered and reforged by an issue like this had the series continued....Willow was the same way and she ended up almost destroying the world in Season 6 of Buffy!

Jacqui...even if it's a short epilogue...just a little bit more some time in the future...just to balance out all the fluff you're gonna have to write to make up for all this pain;)

BEB
PIXIE4MIRANDA
Wednesday, 22 March 2006 15:46
GRRR
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 22 March 2006 17:21
Wow! You have to be the best writer here!!!

Don't stop now! We want more Jaylee!

Yay for Jacqui!!!
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 22 March 2006 20:08
I'm limited with my time on the web these days, so I sneak at work and print your fics out to read at home. I read this one last night and was soooo sad. It was an appropriate ending, to be sure, but I was strongly in the Jayne camp. I was going to write today and beg for an epilogue...a good-bye kiss or SOMETHING and I noticed you've picked up two years down the road. I haven't read that yet. It's printed. I'll read it tonight and let you know.

You are the BEST, wommmaan. The best. Bring on Best Deceptions, too! It's killing me.

Very fondly, from the desert... /M
DARKANGELLOVESFIREFLY
Sunday, 26 March 2006 08:19
You never cease to amaze, you know that!

I just read all 9 parts and they were fabulous!

Thank you for being sooooooo good at what you do.

Well I'm off to read the next 4 parts to your wonderful saga.
BELLONA
Sunday, 28 May 2006 16:27
oh...

b

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