It seemed to Inara that it had taken an eternity to fly to the coliseum and gain an audience with the Master of Ceremonies. A registered Companion tended to gain notice and respect, but the man was having a busy night. Inara had disciplined herself not to look into the arena until the last possible second, for fear of her emotions betraying her. That one reluctant glance had told her what she most urgently needed to know; Mal was alive.
She curtsied delicately in front of the MC. "Thank you for seeing me at such an inconvenient time," she purred. "I have a rather....private matter to discuss with you."
"Of course," the man replied, a proud glow of privilege upon his face. "What may I assist you with, my lady?"
Inara glanced away demurely. "You see, not two nights ago I was set upon by a dreadfully degenerate man." She swallowed. "He laid his hands on me in such a filthy manner, and had it not been for my bodyguards, who knows what might have happened."
The MC was looking at her in rapt sympathy, the thought of laying his own hands on Inara consuming him. "Yes?"
"Well, sir, I do believe that man in the arena -" she pointed to Mal's bound figure "may be the very one who....inconvenienced me." She looked pleadingly into the man's eyes. "It would set my mind to rest if I were to be allowed to identify him. If I know that he has indeed met with justice, it would allow me to sleep so much better at night."
He raised his eyebrows. "What are you asking of me, my lady?"
"Let me go to him. Let me gaze into his eyes and satisfy myself that this is the man."
He considered briefly, then agreed. "Anything for you, my lady. I will escort you to the arena entrance. Do not dally, for it is no place for a delicate lady such as yourself."
"Thank you," breathed Inara, tracing her fingers lightly across his chest. "I shan't be long."
Inara's face was serene, her stride measured as she crossed the arena, her heart pounding. She came to a stop briefly in front of Mal as she entered
But what's with the "Shan't" and "gaze" and "for" and the other anachronistic bits of dialogue? A little too stilted, perhaps.
The rest, though, as I said, I enjoyed very much. :) The plot is tightening...
You can't take the sky from me
Good story, hard to pause to comment when there are more chapters waiting...
More decription would be good, I'm still a little confused as to what's going on. Where is Mal? Is he in the ring fighting?
Also... the dialogue is fine, I agree with your reasoning!
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