Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Serenity: Sundown(Updated again)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

As always, this is my fanfic script with a few new scenes(about four pages of writing). Small things may have changed to the old scenes and the new ones will probably have the same thing done to them. Just in case you're wondering, there are other scenes that will be put into the thing that break up the story of the crew but I'm writing each part seperately and not putting them in order until I'm done. I've also added short character descriptions to tell you where I think these characters are now. Again, sorry if it sucks I'm just a fan.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2430    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Characters

Mal

Happier but more distant. He hasn’t been happy the way he is now for a long time and it’s bothering him. He has a “family” but he’s not sure about the whole people depending on him thing. This is shown in the distance he’s begun to show the crew especially Inara among other things. He hasn’t quite found that faith Book told him to get yet but he’s in a position where there’s the possibility for that.

Inara

Almost fed up with Mal not talking to her but neither is really willing to give up the ghost as it were. Distant from Mal and it shows.

Zoe

Not a good time to mess with her, read on

Jayne

Jayne is still Jayne if not a little bit better man after the events of Serenity

Kaylee

As always bursting with optimism. Comfortable with Simon

Simon

Comfortable with Kaylee. Not nearly as protective with River. Not nearly as much of an outsider

River

Not so crazy anymore and more like her brother but not too pompous just a little bit of know it all

Look for this line somewhere in this when this thing is done,

“The Tams seem to come in only two flavors, crazy and pompous, River’s a twist.”

Scene: We see our Captain Reynolds sweaty and more than a little uncalm walking quickly into the dormitory hallway of Serenity . The shot settles as the captain’s face is seen in full on the left half of the screen and Kaylee can be seen coming in behind him out of focus on the right. He looks back not really looking like he wants to ask the question he is about to.

Mal

Gosa! She’s hot! Kaylee what temp she runnin?

Kaylee

Too hot, captain!

Mal

(Ordering)Get the doc down there to help you and make sure she’s taken care of.

Scene: Jayne enters from where Kaylee and the captain had come from

Jayne

She’s about to blow if you ask me. Leaking everywhere and making sounds I ain’t never imagined.

Mal

(quickly)Shut up, Jayne!

(yelling at the cockpit)Can you set a course and land somewhere River, preferably with all the help we’ll be need’n?

Comments
Tuesday, 24 January 2006 08:53
I have to say...I am all kinds of interested in the story. Though the two reno jobs have meant re-reading the story (no complaints on that act, just think the revamp could be done more behind the scenes with beta readers, dong ma?)

And I have to wonder "What's in the box from Shepherd Book?"

BEB
Tuesday, 24 January 2006 08:53
GHA! Thank you! i am Sooooooo hooked! Thank you for posting, and for have'n it so inara is not just standing there waiting for him not feeling or thinking anything of the fact he is take'n his sweet time. I like that she is a bit pissy (lashing out at a certain crew member shos her being all pissy now i know but still tsk tsk inara what lack of control) but she knows she should wait it out at least a bit, i bet she worries alot about how long exactly she might need to wait and that she worries about maybe not being able to wait 'that' long. that the time might come and she might have to ask him to take a seat and let her know what direction they are going in, if there is a 'they' at all. and she might worry that he might say there is no they or worse that he might answer with an 'i dont know' cause that could only mean its up to her... to wait or to move on... I like that river sooths and worries her all at once you know, never giving a definite answer but at the same time being so damnd spasific as to what the captain and her are feeling. all in all this is good stuff! keep it up, i like how you update and explain stuff about why characters do stuff that looks out of character and also i like that you make the sceens cut of the way they do. its an odd style and i enjoy it alot.
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 24 January 2006 14:34
i love it so far write more i enjoy reading it
FFC1
Tuesday, 24 January 2006 22:01
keep it going K. it is satisfing my fix for new firefly.
JBURB71
Tuesday, 24 January 2006 23:16
I realy like it. You allow the charaters to mature. nice.

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