Blue Sun Room FICTION - DRAMA

The Losing Side, chapter 7

Saturday, December 24, 2005

The continuing saga of Mal's experiences after the war, before the purchase of Serenity. Next chapter.....Zoe!

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3441    RATING: 9.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Note: I tend to edit quite a bit after posting, so comments are particularly welcome! Had to overcome some significant writer's block on this chapter, and I haven't done much proofreading, so it's kind of rough.

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Aside from the unending boredom, recurring nightmares, and constant soreness, Mal wasn't doing half badly. He'd been moved out of the main hospital into the "recovery ward," which near as he could tell was a prisoner's housing unit; only difference was, you got nurses instead of guards, and they poked needles into you and muttered reassuring words instead of ordering you about.

It also had a problem with an idiot infestation. He wasn't keen on telling a living soul what had happened, so his fellow prisoners did what people do when they have no clue; they decided they knew all about it. A couple of the more popular rumors involved his falling from a shuttle during an ill-advised escape attempt or inciting a riot because he thought he was receiving telepathic signals from the Browncoats. He rather liked the latter, and derived some small entertainment from rubbing his forehead at random intervals before exclaiming "The Browncoats are coming!" Nobody ever got the joke, but they sure as hell left him alone.

Mal looked up as a sharply uniformed guard entered the ward and called his name. His initial guess that the officer had come to transfer him back to general housing lost credibility as three more stony-faced guards lined up behind him, refusing to meet Mal's eyes. "What's the occasion, sir?" Mal asked innocently.

"We'd like you to come with us, sir," Mal recognized the deeply reserved look on the man’s face as the expression of one who knows very bad news about you. He’d worn that expression on the battlefield many a time himself, facing soldiers who were dying in front of his eyes. " They're going to kill me after all, " he thought miserably.

Mal's mind raced as he walked through the maze of fences and hallways, his head spinning alm

Comments
2X2
Saturday, 24 December 2005 15:57
oooh....

Fav line - "Don't tell me," he thought desperately. "Just put a gun to my head when I'm not looking. I don't want to see this coming."

poor Mal....
Saturday, 24 December 2005 19:25
Wow! Powerful, painful and utterly believable. My favourite part is where Lee's description of the annihilation of Shadow mirrored the words of the title song of the series. I think right about now would be a great bit of timing for a Big Damn Heroic Rescue! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Sunday, 25 December 2005 08:23
That was chilling beyond measured and very well handled. The way you had both Lee and Mal behave--the understated calmness--was very effective.

The most down-the-spine shiver came from the simple phrase: "Suicide watch". It said so much--both Lee's expectation of Mal's reaction and state of mind, and moreso the horrifying situation of helpless confinement Mal now face. If one isn't suicidal before, the contant relentless watching and confinement would surely make them so.

Nice to see Zoe, but actually, in terms of the story/chapter structure, she was a bit of a jarring non-fit in this section.

Very well done section.
Sunday, 25 December 2005 13:03
You know, I think you're right about the Zoe bit. I think I'll edit it out for the time being. I plan for Zoe to play a huge role in the next chapter, but for the time being this is still very much Mal's story.

Thank you for the feedback; it really helps me out, and I love hearing what bits strike a chord with people. Please keep the comments coming!
Friday, 06 January 2006 06:46
NEXT CHAPTER?!?!

Pretty Pretty pleeeease with copy of Serenity on top?? :p
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 08:56
Oh this is good stuff! I'm glad I found it. Damn you! I have to get up again in a few hours....and I want to read MORE and MORE and MORE!!!!!!!!!
Friday, 16 January 2009 18:22
Wow. No other word for this. Got me misty-eyed.

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