Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

The Shiny Affair of Mr. Pink- Chapter 2

Friday, November 11, 2005

Action/romance/general firefly worship/hillarious concept in my head fic from a Jayne perspective. Jaylee elements. Post "Serenity." In this episode: Jayne meets Mr. Pink. Comments appreciated!

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2193    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

Tweet

**Kaylee references in here may be explained if you read an earlier post in the romance section called "Second Best- Prologue/Tease." That is all.**

Mal figured the mule would be a bit too conspicuous. Likely ta be remembered. Jayne didn’t have the foggiest where the horses came from. Figured they was probably borrowed.

He took the big buckskin. Zoe took the smaller black one. There was a butter-yellow one, too. Real weird color. They left it tied ta the tree by the ship, nibblin’ at a clump of grass.

They didn’t talk none on the way ta the house. Fine by Jayne. Zoe’d never really done anythin’ you’d call “openin’ up” ta him. They rarely traded small talk, even before Zoe’d got all clammed up.

Jayne matched his breath with the footsteps of the horse.

Two steps in, two steps out.

Been a long time since he’d been on a horse. Felt good.

Two steps in, two steps out.

Kaylee looked real pretty that mornin’—even if she was makin’ googly eyes at the doc. She’d taken a shower, now that they was dirt-side. Her hair was real shiny. Looked all soft. Skin, too.

He wondered what she smelled like close up. He hardly got a chance ta get close to her. Not close enough.

He needed a shower. It’d been a while, an’ he reckoned his aroma was headin’ past manful ta just plain wrong.

Plain. Plain Jayne.

He could use a sandwich. One with lots a meat. An’ cheese. Gorram, it’d been a long time since he’d had cheese. An’ that yella stuff mama’d bring out on real special occasions.

Yella. Yella paint. Half-naked Kaylee.

Better than a sandwich. Sweet and savory Kaylee between slices a… Jayne an’ the wall.

“Sounds like we’re getting’ close.”

Jayne let the visions of Kaylee slip away.

“Yep.”

They could hear the laughin’ an’ carousin’ long before they reached the house.

Actually, it was more than a house. It was like a compound—one big house in the middle of four or five little buildings.

“Quite the spread.”

They didn’t say nothin’ else until they were up

Comments
Friday, 11 November 2005 05:56
Tee hee. Zeek. Poor Jayne.

And I love that you have him all distracted by the women, but when other men start eye ballin' Zoe, Jayne's all protective and back to business. It's so him.

You're teasin' us with the Jaylee here, you know it? Will they actually get together? Will the gang get their money from Mr. Pink?
Friday, 11 November 2005 09:13
I really like this part:
"Zoe’s voice was so damn pointy. He was surprised the girl didn’t pop."
Perfect description of that terse military tone she gets.
That said - MORE JAYLEE! Let's get some interaction goin'! :P
Friday, 11 November 2005 12:04
Love the whorehouse scene and the voices, all spot on. More please with lots of Jaylee
Friday, 11 November 2005 12:41
That's it. I'm in love with the way you write Jayne.

This is my favorite.
"The man holdin’ the door open eyed Zoe longer than he had to.
Jayne glared at him. Put his hand on Zoe’s waist real lightly an’ moved her to the other side a him.
Weren’t proper fer a married woman ta get eyeballed like that."

That little bit says so much about who Jayne really is. Love love love it!

Ok gushing done, on to the demanding section.

You're teasing me with the Jaylee here! I love those 2 together and would love to see them interact more.

Great new chapter! Can't wait for the next one!
Friday, 11 November 2005 15:17
Zeek! Oh Zoe.

I like how Jayne was trying to get between her and the guy who was eyeing her. Chivelry, not that Jayne would ever know it.

I can't wait for more!
BEAUTIFOOL
Friday, 11 November 2005 15:52
Mwah hahahahahaha!!

okay, i know i'm totally teasing with the jaylee here. but i refuse... REFUSE... to just do jaylee with no storyline. at least this time, because this story is just too funny in my head to let go.

it's coming. i promise. PROMISE. and it will be oh-so-lovely when it does.

*continues weaving her web of hypnotic jayneness*
and tomorrow... the wooooorld!
Friday, 11 November 2005 20:06
*giggles*

You so amuse!
Friday, 11 November 2005 20:37
zeek. hee. zeek. as of now, i am well and truly tangled in your web of hypnotic jayneness

b
Friday, 11 November 2005 21:30
I really liked Zoe pretending to be possessive of Jayne and how uncomfortable it made him feel, especially when there was all that tasty there and him not being able to indulge his libedo! And that Mr Pink, huh, hate him already. Shiny, Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Friday, 11 November 2005 21:33
"He needed a shower. It’d been a while, an’ he reckoned his aroma was headin’ past manful ta just plain wrong."

SOOOOOOOO Jayne!!!!!
I'm loving this. Can't wait for more!

ANONYMOUS
Friday, 11 November 2005 23:51
Beautifool is the boss of me. Update soon, m'kay?
ANONYMOUS
Saturday, 12 November 2005 17:24
I think it's great telling the story from Jayne's point of view. The way his mind works is priceless- Kaylee, Kaylee taking a shower, him needing a shower, him wanting a sandwich, Kaylee as a sandwich. Priceless.
Sunday, 20 November 2005 02:35
Very good work. Loved "Better than a sandwich. Sweet and savory Kaylee between slices a… Jayne an’ the wall." Nice, that. Gonna go read some more now.

Post Your Comments

You must log in to post comments.