Kaylee’s Lament

Part Sixteen

“Wash, you awake?”

Silence.

“Wash?”

More silence.

“Wash, are you awake?”

“Huh?”

“Are you awake?”

“Uh. Oh. Yeah.” A yawn. “Is it my watch already?”

“No, I just wanted to know if you were awake.”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah. Was I snoring again?”

“You’re alive, aren’t you? Did I wake you?”

“’Sokay, had to get up and talk to my wife anyway. What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’.”

“Oh, good, hate to get woke up for somethin’. What is it? The . . . that gorram dream again?”

“The valley? No. Not this time. Or, not exactly.”

“Then what is it?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Me, either. My wife is keeping me awake.”

“Funny. I can’t sleep. I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Do this? Do this what? The marriage? A little late for that now, y’ask me. You’ve already stolen my virtue and—”

“No, you idiot, not the marriage. Marriage is doin’ fine.” Pause. “Ain’t it?”

“Hell, I dunno. I’m merely male. As long as the intimate humpiness holds out, the marriage is shiny. We’re lucky that way. Low standards. Keeps us from thinkin’.”

“No, I was talkin’ ‘bout this job.”

“Whaddyamean? What’s wrong with it?”

“Well, when I was in costume, talkin’ to Wendell today, makin’ the pick-up confirmation and stuff. . .”

“Yeah . . .”

“Well . . . I’m supposed to be a Captain, right?”

“That’s the plan, yeah. What’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know if I can act like a Captain.”

“Honey, if there is any woman in the Black who could, it’s you.”

“That’s a very sweet, husbandly thing to say.”

“Thanks, I put a lot of thought into it.”

“But it ain’t what I was lookin’ for.”

“Sorry, didn’t read the script. What did you want me to say?”

“I want the truth. Could I be a good Captain? Mal is a great Captain. Would have made a great officer back in the War, too. He says somethin’, people jump. But could I do it. Do it well?”

“You certainly do. And you make me jump, too. So I guess what I’m sayin’ can be best summarized as ‘Yeah, so?’”

“How does he do that? Is it a captain thing, or is i