Kaylee’s Lament

Part Eleven

“Well, wasn’t that a fun stop-over?” Simon asked sarcastically, as the ride out of Set’s turbulent atmo smoothed out. He and much of the rest of the crew were seated in the lounge, some strapped in against a bumpy ride. “A couple of fights, a shooting, a stabbing, a murder trial, and the undying enmity of a ruthless gang of cut-throat pirates,” he complained. “I can see the tourist posters now, ‘Onyx, land of enchantment! Scenic wreckage, frigid weather, and colorful natives!’.”

“The noodles were good,” Book commented.

“Ah! Yes, ‘famous noodles’. Or how about, ‘You came for the noodles – you’ll stay for the death threats’?”

“They were really good noodles,” River said.

“You can’t entirely complain. You did get some decent shopping,” pointed out Inara. “That coat is scrumptious. Plus the hat and the matching slippers? And for about half what you would have paid for it in the Core.”

“Ah, yes, the wonderful Francois the Tailor, a la Magnifique, who seems to do his best work when Jayne has a gun pointed at his head.”

“He was messin’ with my business,” Jayne growled. “I don’t let no one but me and my women do that.”

“And I’m certain that he was as reluctant to join that exclusive club as most of your women,” Simon said with disgust. “He was measuring your inseam, you moronic ape.”

“Just sayin’,” the mercenary grunted, shrugging.

“Attention Travelers, everyone can unstrap,” came Wash’s voice over the intercom. “We’ve cleared atmo, and we’re setting course for the picturesque middle of nowhere!”

“How long until we get to our destination?” Book asked.

“’Bout half a day, near as I can figger,” Jayne said as he unfastened his safety strap. “’’Course, they don’t care to consult me ‘bout that sorta thing.”

“That doesn’t leave much time,” Simon said, sighing and rubbing his eyes. “Probably should get to work on my part. Have to make it look convincing.” He left, headed towards his quarters, sparing one last ugly look for Jayne.

“That boy needs a go