Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Eidolon (Chapter 19)

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Almost from a distance, he heard the retort of gun fire, felt the searing pain along his spine. It occurred to him, with sudden clarity, that he was about to die. (Trap)

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3831    RATING: 10.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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The array lit up like Christmas when Captain Reynolds got the ignition sequence right, then immediately stuttered off. He tried all the toggles again, insulting the zá zhǒng wáng bā dàn machine, the factory line that birthed it, the wǎng fù xián zhū shǒu of a father donated the seed, to no effect.

" Chù -sheng !" he ground out, slapping his palm into the control panel, then sagged against it. He couldn't hear her anymore. Radio cut out, or more like she'd switched off just to spite him. No more goddamn banter, not even some flippancy about his performance with the shuttle. Just... " Tā māde ," he cursed, pushing down the part of him certain that she was dead long enough to think.

The shuttle had not just suddenly developed a will of its own refusing to start up. Another landlock maybe, courtesy of Inara's good friend, and not the official kind that came flashing over the Cortex trumpets and claxons blaring. Something transmitting from this estate they could shut down. Kaylee would have a work-around, have to wait for them to get back before they could take off anyhow, which meant he was going on foot. Couldn't fly out to her, he sure as hell could bring her back.

She'd be expecting the shuttle so he'd find her either on the roof or out on the terrace. Satisfied with his plan, he shrugged on his trustworthy coat - risk though it was, no way he was going without it - then checked his side-arm, shoved it back into his holster, and dusted out.

- - - -

Zoë crouched down, deep brown eyes scanning the landscape and not for the flowers, just a routine habit to occupy her time while her thoughts wandered. The ever-alert tension, always ready for action, was something that was part of her, an undercurrent running beneath her conscious thoughts that she couldn't ever turn off.

There was some armed security about twenty yards down the garden pathway, shifting and jangling gear giving away a telling lack

Comments
Saturday, 08 October 2011 06:43
Today passes our unsympathetic and complete monster would be crime lord. In between playing the sycophant to a sadist like Niska (emphasis on "sicko") and pimping out five year olds to the worst sort of people, he also liked to drown kittens.
Saturday, 08 October 2011 13:34
Oh my friend! You have to know I was holding my breath through the last several paragraphs of this chapter!

The whole thing was beautifully done. I love your Inara and your Zoe. Zoe was particularly poignant here. And it's so sad these bad guys never catch on that they're in the Whedonverse and how unhealthy it is to underestimate the "girl."

I look forward to more!
BREWSTER
Saturday, 08 October 2011 14:46
Well written piece. Worth studying just for style.

Good work!
Saturday, 08 October 2011 15:22
I particularly like how you delineated Zoe in this part, so true to form and with a great sense of character. I was on my pins when Inara got caught and for one beautiful shining moment I though that Gavril would survive. Great writing, waiting for more! Ali D :~)
"You can't take the sky from me!"
Saturday, 08 October 2011 15:54
Oh, also, I was carried away writing yesterday, I do intend to catch up on reviewing. :)

GR! How's it feel to be back on the ol' fff.net?

Zoe is struggling, but she keeps it together. At the same time, she's starting to make choices about what direction she wants her life to go in, which should transition to Zoe at the end of the comic Float Out.
Saturday, 08 October 2011 17:29
Feels good, and I agree with Brewster. Your sentences are so well crafted, your words are so very well chosen that this series is a smart, emotional pleasure to read.
Sunday, 09 October 2011 00:24
This calls for a GR archive story crawl both here and on fanfiction dot net. Maybe I'll make a party of it! Platonist and EB don't appear to have made a visit here yet.
Sunday, 09 October 2011 05:42
Arggh. I wrote a lovely review, pressed submit and it disappeared. It's very late here and I've had a long day at work, so let me try to get my head on straight again and think again of what I wrote.
I really liked your last action scene. and the re-appearance of River (been wondering where she got to). Loved Inara as the action hero in the prior scene. I am worried about what's happening with Mal, since he set out on foot. He is sure to run into trouble, I'm thinking.
Very excited to see GillianRose back here. GillianRose, does this mean you might be posting more wonderful fics for us? (ebfiddler asks hopefully)
Bytemite, that GR archive story crawl sounds like good fun. Can I come along too? :-)
Sunday, 09 October 2011 18:43
We'll see some more River next chapter. She does eventually get in on some of the action and making a difference in the direction of the plot, but it's very subtle. After all, if she changes too much, the Python will be reborn and come to eat her, and have to be killed by Apollo.

Yes, join me! I've already commented on one of her stories.
Sunday, 09 October 2011 23:25
Revenge is sweet. Although one may not be able to saver the taste for long.

BPZ
Monday, 10 October 2011 01:47
Archive crawl? Awww, you make me blush :)

I have works in progress, but they've been stalled for a long time. Not sure why...

But I'm loving Eidolon and happy to hear there will be more soon :)
Tuesday, 11 October 2011 15:53
Archive crawl is go. :) To the private messages!
Thursday, 05 January 2012 22:17
You created a villain more horrible than Niska! - bravo! (I think ..... )

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