Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Eidolon (Chapter 14)

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Mal's got some kind of deathwish. Was the only thing Jayne could think of, way the man ran ass on fire into bad business and losing battles. (Adrenaline)

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 4115    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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"Sir!"

A marine pushed through the olive canvas flaps of the field tent, used for a temporary sleeping arrangement for the ground forces. Belatedly, the young man realized his mistake, as the captain rolled over on his cot and propped himself up on his elbow with a tired expression.

The young lieutenant, as though sensing his imminent demotion, came to an abrupt halt and saluted. "Permission to speak, sir!" Remarkably, he didn't think to alter the volume of his near shout.

The captain dragged himself upright, he hadn't been sleeping anyway. Really, the interruption was almost welcome, replaying as he was memories of reinforcing barriers, and laser fire, and women crying over the charred corpses of men who, just moments before, had been shouting at the security forces in an unfamiliar tongue. "Clearly your message is urgent enough it can't wait until morning," he replied dryly. He hoped. "At ease."

"Yessir." But the lieutenant didn't relax; if anything, the boy looked ready for a dressing down, like a drill sergeant from basic training might swoop down on him at any moment. He remembered this soldier now from the night before; despite the action earlier in the day, despite the vague resemblance of the open-faced helmet to a samurai warrior of old, the new-minted officer's armor still had its factory polish. "Kurtz VMO-3 reporting in from patrol on the east airstrip." The captain waved the boy on. "They were ambushed, sir."

Not unexpected, and he could see how it might have happened. Reduced visibility, and his men were all green, overeager and out looking for glory. They'd simply seen an opportunity to chase after. He sighed. "How many?" he asked, reaching under the cot for his folded grey trousers and mao jacket.

"Four casualties, two dead." Half the squad. "And they took the roller."

His mind stumbled over the news, taking a few moments to attempt to process the informa

Comments
Saturday, 03 September 2011 21:04
Oh so funny, I liked the notion of Inara taking the opportunity to give Mal a friendly frisk while he was blindfolded and didn't know who it was. Ali D :~)
"You can't take the sky from me!"
Sunday, 04 September 2011 00:11
Great chapter, Bytemite. I love your choice of words with Jayne "firing off a few quick bursts of think-twice-about-chasing-us"--what an image you conjure up there! I agree with Ali completely about the "frisking" that Inara gave Mal.
Sunday, 04 September 2011 00:49
Also, I really liked those paragraphs where you got into Mal's head.

"Even then, he learned that there wasn't so much a man could lose that he couldn't lose more. Here he was now, with lifetimes of regret for them who ended premature, for Wash and Zoe, Kaylee and Simon, for the Shepherd, and even Jayne.

"And Inara, he could pour his heart out and fill an ocean with things unsaid. Things he couldn't ever say, not when they were nearly out of air, not even to even to say goodbye on some godforsaken moon; things he whispered in her ear, arms wrapped around her when he was dreaming, that scraped him raw when he was awake."

Nicely put. And then, of course, when he does see her moments later, he can't say any of that!
Sunday, 04 September 2011 02:25
"Mal's got some kind of deathwish. Was the only thing Jayne could think of, way the man ran ass on fire into bad business and losing battles. Something about the war knocked them screwy, both Mal and Zoe, seeing she was feng le to follow."

Very nice!
Sunday, 04 September 2011 02:39
Thanks you guys, sorry I missed all the posting. I've been out on a hike today.

Inara did want to make sure he was okay, but it was just so hard to resist once she had her hands on him.

Also, Jayne is one of the funnest characters to write an action sequence for because you can really load it up with testosterone, scathing sarcasm, slapstick, and an almost flippant and mean sense of humour.
Sunday, 04 September 2011 05:21
Wow, lots of typos, omissions, and duplicate words in this chapter I missed for some reason. I think I have it about fixed now.
Tuesday, 06 September 2011 14:03
Bytemite…….! Great chapter…..

You certainly have a great handle on Mal and Jayne, and the crew. So, the henchmen of Serenity have been rescued!

I’m looking to see what happens next…..?

BPZ, still holding
Tuesday, 06 September 2011 19:53
Well, they get into trouble, and Mal solves their problems with ever increasingly worse plans.
Friday, 30 September 2011 19:07
throughly loved this chapter.
Thursday, 05 January 2012 21:19
I read this first time round. I'm moving house tomorrow so I thought that tonight was a good time to catch up with Eidolon...... :)

This is my favourite part: And Inara, he could pour his heart out and fill an ocean with things unsaid. Things he couldn't ever say, not when they were nearly out of air, not even to say goodbye on some godforsaken moon; things he whispered in her ear, arms wrapped around her when he was dreaming, that scraped him raw when he was awake.

Mostly - but not only - because it really does bother me that they never confessed their feelings when they thought they were facing imminent death. I mean, nothing to lose or what? Anyway, we've talked about that before, I'm sure.

Loved your Rookies, as well. Go Byte!

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