Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Sir

Friday, February 15, 2008

Early Mal and Zoe, wartime. (Early homespun, for that matter.) Zoe's POV. One-shot.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3186    RATING: 9.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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I was reminded that I have not posted any one-shots here. Since I can't get to Rabbit Hole right now, I thought I'd offer this shortie up as a "thanks for being patient".

So, thanks.

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She was conscious first of dust and smoke, or maybe more that she was coughing and choking on it with each breath. It had been dark to begin with, but now a haze of debris limited her vision to the rubble in front of her; rubble that she realized was pinning her in place; rubble that had not been there last she remembered.

Zhou ma, they were hit. Must’ve been the last strike they’d called in.

“Elster?”

Radio man had been to her right. Zoe twisted her head to look for him and sucked in a breath as her body protested. Gorram piece of metal was spiked right through her shoulder, into the pile of wreckage behind her. Reaching with her free left hand, she probed, trying to get a read on the wound as best she could.

“Elster?”

Three inches in diameter, maybe, not too big, wedged right in there between her shoulder and collarbone. Pain was tolerable unless she moved. Small comfort but she’d take it.

A flash of light and she made out Elster’s face, some ten feet away, eyes closed. Looked to be trapped like she was, alive or not she couldn’t tell. She turned her attention left.

“Sergeant?”

A steel beam obscured her view. Nice to know it had missed her head.

They’d been on the lower roof of an old warehouse, calling in fire on the city. Last she remembered was laying flat on their bellies, peering over the roof peak, taking advantage of the shadows the higher wall provided. Piece of that wall was likely what had her skewered now.

The occasional explosion of incoming missiles and flash of tracers through the smoke told her the mission was still go. Even sounded like they were hitting where the sergeant had spotted the big Alliance guns, which, thankfully, was away from their position. Not that it had made much difference with this la

Comments
Friday, 15 February 2008 21:33
Absolutely fabulous! You have Mal and Zoe so in character and I loved the way Mal's men came through for them, not giving up until they had been found and evacced. Really loved as well the way the men quoted Mal as a way to reassure Zoe that he really was going to be alright. And Zoe at the end, replying that she did trust him brought a lump to my throat. Like I said, fabulous! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Friday, 15 February 2008 21:53
I'm really glad you post this. I love to travel with Mal and Zoe. It brightens a gloomy day.
Saturday, 16 February 2008 02:37
I'm so glad to see this fic here! I read it on LJ, but could never comment over there and tell you how wonderful I think it is. You provide such a sense of what Mal was like during the war it's almost palpable. But more importantly, you gave a true depth to the reality of how much both he and Zoe lost in the war; the friends, cohesiveness, and conviction that all would work out for the best. I found myself mourning the victims of Serenity Valley because you made them come alive in this fic. Oh, and the writing is also fabulous. This fic brings Zoe's faith in Mal to light and makes it so completely understandable. Thanks for posting it here!
Saturday, 16 February 2008 15:44
I always loved the war fics... you don't see much of them :) The way you portrayed Mal and Zoe was perfect - I love browncoats!

Keep flying ;)
Sunday, 17 February 2008 04:05
Nice, nice work.

Great voices, good description. Zoe's description of listening to men die was wonderful.

I, too, loved Mal's men quoting him --
Sunday, 17 February 2008 14:15
Excellent piece of work here! Thank you for posting it! Any more gems like this you've got lying around, I'd be tickled to read! :D
Sunday, 24 February 2008 22:21
I really enjoyed this, especially how you have Mal gradually fading from Zoe's obscured perspective, and Zoe's concerns over how that usually plays out. This highlights the regard she has for Mal, and also the differences between them, and the way Zoe must find Mal so confounding. She is such a proficient soldier, but she still finds things to learn from him.

I love that it is Mal's will, or more, his faith, that gets him through it. There is no question, and because his men know that, they follow though against logic. It really calls back (or rather, forward) to what a devastation Serenity Valley must have been for him.

Thanks for dusting it off and posting here!
Thursday, 19 June 2008 17:14
This is the definitive How It Was.

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