Mal was trying his best to hump it up the ramp and to his quarters without being noticed, but Zoe bellowing "honey, we're home" as she trailed behind him shot those plans to hell. Lil' Kaylee was in the cargo bay and, taking one look at him, tore back to the infirmary shouting the doc's name.

"Captain." Shepherd Book was using that concerned, Shepherdy voice as he came at him from the weight bench, on line to intercept him before he reached the stairs. "Is there something wrong? Have you been injured?"

" Tain't nothin'." Mal sidestepped Book before the preacher could lay hands on him, or pull away the fingers he was holding over his nose and left eye.

"What happened?"

Oh great, now gorram Simon was there, with that purposeful I'm in medical charge attitude, trying to get a look.

"Nothing," Mal snapped, jerking his elbow closer to his body.

"Might be you need to take a look, Doc."

Mal shot Zoe his best one-eyed glare. "No, he doesn't," he ground out, heading again for the steps.

"Seriously." Zoe was all poker face. "Might have damaged your eye, Sir. You should get it checked."

"Eye?" Simon went on alert like a bird dog on point. "Is there bleeding?" He addressed this to Zoe, as if Mal couldn't answer on his own.

"No," Mal answered coldly, spinning back around to face the doc. "There is no bleeding. Just need a little ice is all."

"If you've possibly injured your eye you should really let me look."

"I agree with the doctor, Captain," Book intoned, blocking access to the stairway.

"Someone poke an eye out?" Jayne's voice was excited as he descended the stairs from the foredeck.

"What is it with you two when you get off the ship?" asked Wash, right behind him. "Zoe, you ok?"

"I'm fine, husband. The captain has got himself a little injury."

"Who did he insult this time?"

"Wash, that ain't fair. Cap'n don't always get hit on accoun' a his startin' a fight."

"Not always, only mostly," snorted Jayne.

"Would you please