Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

The Losing Side, Chapter 47

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Mal goes on trial for war crimes against the Alliance, and finds solace in the vastness of space.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2832    RATING: 9.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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~~~~~

"Why didn't you tell me!" Wash yelled. "You – you –"

Mal drew a deep breath, opting for absolute honesty. "Because this could destroy me. I'm gonna walk into a courtroom in a couple days an' listen to the Alliance end my life. Only way through that is to look straight ahead, an' there's nobody can do that for me."

Wash gulped. "I –I want-"

Mal cut him off, a sort of steel in his voice. "I know you wanna help, an' you want to be a friend. But there's some nightmares a man has to walk through alone. Having friends along for the ride'll rip me to shreds, dong ma?"

Wash nodded back at Mal, his eyes filled with pain. He opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it and hurried inside.

Mal leaned against the fence, pushing his head back painfully against the wire and gritted his teeth in a desperate effort to distract himself from the utter despair that kept trying to attack him.

Nothing I do matters. Fighting, coping, trying. The Alliance will take a person who’s everything good and kind in this world and crush him, they’ll lock me in a cage and throw away the key. What’s the good of hope, of tryin’ to think something’s goin’ right, when it’s just gonna be yanked from under you?

~~~~~

"He can't just go through this alone," said Wash, pleading with Zeke.

"Might be he has to," said Zeke. "He's a soldier, and he knows how to fight. Best let him do what he knows."

Wash nodded unhappily and paced across the room. He looked out the window at Mal, and Zeke took hold of his sleeve and pulled him firmly away.

~~~~

Because if you give up, you hand them victory. Mal drew a deep breath, staring sharply at the fence in front of him. It was that stubborn voice again, the one that raised all manner of nagging questions in the darkest recesses of his mind.

He set his jaw, his focus clear. I will not do th

Comments
Saturday, 16 June 2007 13:01
Ouch - very painful - very beautiful.. Talk about honing a character down to the fundamentals of his soul! Loved what you did here - especially LOVED Mal's voice of wisdom in the madness. No wonder he is a survivor worthy of our respect.

The courtroom trial was spot on and relative to real world events now. Excellent, but was so painful to see him go through that. There's law, there's justice, and there's fairness. Not very often do they all meet at the same place.

Excellent job! I can feel how much effort this cost you - and it was all worth it. Hope to read more soon.
Saturday, 16 June 2007 13:20
Great work here! Very impressed with the evolution of Mal's character in the last couple of chapters! Looking forward to more soon!
Saturday, 16 June 2007 14:19
Nice job! This is how to write the deepest of traumas and pains--cool, numb, somewhat distant. That's the kind of writing that makes the hurt most vivid and you achieved it here. Most fanfic writers will try to go the other way and express 'depth of the soul' pain type of stuff and it always comes off sappy and overdone. You didn't do that and this approach *works*. This way the reader feels it. Very well done.

And as with the last chapter about Wash, you've brought the character elements of Mal all together.

I was delighted to see a new chapter this morning so soon after the last. Selfishly, I hope you're on a writing roll!
Saturday, 16 June 2007 21:34
I'm giving you a ten, Jetflair, for two reasons. First, Mal's internal dialogue, swaying him between steadfast courage and anguished yielding. Second, the courtroom scene. You perfectly worded the arguments by the prosecutor and the advocate. When one is on the winning side, their actions are regarded as heroic, no matter how despicable. When one is part of the losers, well, then they're considered war crimes. Interesting dichotomy and you played it out most excellently.

Good twist at the end, having the order hypothetically come down from Lee, Mal's supposed Alliance supporter. I'm definitely curious to see how that plays out.

Keep up the good work.


Rob O.

Saturday, 16 June 2007 21:34
This was really well written and I loved the way Mal turned his thoughts to the Black and the only freedom he could imagine worth living in, it fits in nicely with the way in which he gets some comfort and peace from it in the series and movie but I am getting to the point where there is just so much sadness and unnecessary cruelty towards him that I may stop reading this story altogether. It is just unremitting in its' bleakness and I honestly don't enjoy watching someone suffer over and over again especially when they do not deserve it. I keep hoping you will bring some small measure of light or hope to this tale, especially 47 chapters in, but it just doesn't end and is too depressing. Ali D
You can't take the sky from me
Sunday, 17 June 2007 16:08
Glad things are picking up a bit. I also loved the internal dialog and the bits up in space. Amdobell is right in that that's the only freedom he can imagine right now.
Monday, 18 June 2007 02:44
Honestly, this was very very good. Easily the best chapter so far. I hope there are a few more chapters to come (just don't make this drag on forever, or else the writing will start to become worse and worse.)

Also, you showed how horrible some people can be, but that (almost) everyone has a good, compassionate side. Personally, I would call this true Jossified canon style. Voice and everything. Keep up the good work.
FARMGIRL
Monday, 18 June 2007 07:31
I haven't reviewed in forever, but I won't go into that since you already know why.

Just wanted to say publicly how much I love this fic. It makes me sob and breaks my heart, but that just means you are doing and excellent job.
Monday, 25 June 2007 01:35
Love what you are doing with this fic. Can't wait to see how you resovle it all. Keep up the good work. Please stay true to your inner voice no matter what others say. What's the saying: It going to get worse before it gets better. I hope to see the next chapter real soon.
Thursday, 26 July 2007 03:39
Gah! My comment from weeks and weeks ago got ate! Gorramn it!

:(

Ok...basically, I said this was brilliant, Mal was definitely all kinds of spot-on in his behaviour and I can't wait to read more. Which I have;)

BEB

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