Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Down the Rabbit Hole, Chapter Eleven

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Mal and Simon continue to hide from the Feds. Not slash. <b>This chapter:</b> The procedure is finished. The room smells. Mal annoys him. Simon Tam stresses as only Simon Tam can stress. Roll over for translations of bad mandarin.
Thanks to <b>HeWhoKicksAlot</b> for encourgement and advice, and <b>Mal4Prez</b> for the swift kick.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3297    RATING: 9.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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It's been a good two and a half months since I last posted, and as that's not good manners, I apologize.

Need a refresher? (I did.)

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The smell. It was the smell that was starting to really bother him. More than the dark. More than the silence. More than Mal’s growing irritability. The odor of decay pressed in on him, a calling card of another man’s loss, settling into his lungs, clinging to his skin and clothes. Simon shook himself and stood stiffly, muscles aching from squatting. His trousers from the knee down were steeped with muck from where he had knelt to work on Mal, and the damp fabric clung uncomfortably to his shins. He pushed at it half-heartedly with his foot, reluctant to dirty his hands when there was so little left to wipe them clean. He had, thankfully, managed to keep his seat dry, even if he paid for it with leg cramps.

He glanced toward the Cortex screen, willing for the hundredth time that it might chime, giving them the where’s and how’s of the rescue plan; giving Simon something other than pulse and respiration to discuss with a decreasingly receptive Mal.

Deprived again of that satisfaction, he turned to stretching, reaching first one arm and then the other as far toward the ceiling as possible, the pull of muscles a welcome diversion. He bent at the waist, relieving the strain in his back, then straightened and rolled his head slowly from shoulder to shoulder, soothing his tense neck. Had he not found knuckle cracking to be repulsive, he might have attempted that next.

Instead, he reviewed his small surroundings, knowing that no one had secreted themselves in the shadows since his last sweep, but checking just the same. Nothing in the room had changed at all, save the slight shift in the angle of moonlight and the accompanying lengthening of shadows. Not the occupants, not their predicament, and not their moods. He swung each arm in

Comments
Wednesday, 23 May 2007 18:55
Glad to see this here! I was hoping you hadn't forgotten it! And the wait is forgiven!
Wednesday, 23 May 2007 18:58
I'm so glad to see you continuing this. It's a great, engaging story. Looking forward to seeing everyone's reaction when they're rescued. Somehow, I don't think their reactions will be quite what Simon expects.

Wednesday, 23 May 2007 19:38
Hey! I'll be the only one doing any kicking around here.

Well worth the wait. Did my little internal happy dance when I saw Chapter 11 posted here. As always, the details are perfect, as was the dialogue, internal and external. The medical, spot-on, so you can lay your fears to rest.

Excellent job. Keep up the good work.


Rob O.
Wednesday, 23 May 2007 21:17
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for continuing this captivating saga. I was just thinking about it today and hoping you post another installment.
Wednesday, 23 May 2007 23:03
Hooray, I actually thought you had forgotten all about this story so was happily dancing about when I saw you had posted another chapter up. I did smile at Simon's pessimistic expectations of what the crew would do to him when he got back to Serenity. He forgets that everyone knows he would never intentionally hurt, let alone shoot, a member of the crew whether the Captain or anyone else. And the fact that he tries so hard to do everything in his power to put right the damage will be all any of them need to know, the Captain included. The only one berating Simon will be himself. Just have to hang on now for the Big Damn Rescue! Please don't leave it another two and a half months before you update, *dong ma*? Love this story too much to have to wait so long again. Good work, Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Thursday, 24 May 2007 01:47
Er, hi, I'm new to this commenting thing, but just wanted to say - Yay! Really glad to see more of this story. I found the earlier parts when I started reading here and loved them and really hoped there'd be more. I love the richness of the detail of this, and your Simon is just dead on - this is so much like him it's just wonderful to read. And I love the understated way you're showing just what a talent Mal has as a leader.
Thursday, 24 May 2007 02:06
What a dead-on fabulous fic you've written! Your descriptions of the mold and muck almost made my eyes burn and nose itch. The Simon self torture was so true to what we know of his character, and Mal's leadership skills were exemplary.

I love your fics and how well you get into the character's heads. You're very skilled at putting them both in a situation that will test them to the max - and force them to respect and depend on the other.
Thursday, 24 May 2007 13:13
>Hey! I'll be the only one doing any kicking around here.

Too late LOL! But it only well-placed punt, I'll leave the rest to you to handle, Mr Kickalot!

Homespun - again, such interesting perspective from Simon about the difference between himself and Mal. Funny thing is, I think he would go to the same place as Mal if he had to. He'd discover the same ability to survive. He just doesn't get it, and can't. He hasn't been the places Mal has. I hope he's going to learn Mal's not such an automaton! And you're setting up for an interesting reunion with the crew, if the crew ever finds them...

Gotta agree with the other commenters, excellent details and little things, and the setting and the mood. And I'll add to the pressure: I really hope we don't have to wait super long for the next part. I'm so curious about where you're going to take it from here!
Friday, 25 May 2007 16:10
You're back! And you've brought prezzies! Excellent!

;D

Some brilliant work here, homespun! Simon is definitely in fine form here with his "I am so f-ed!" mantra. Once again, he's failed to realize that the crew knows he would never shoot Mal intentionally...or do harm period. The face-off in the pilot with Dobson should prove that!

And honestly? I am kinda surprised Simon doesn't understand Mal's ability to just switch off. As a trauma surgeon, I would expect Simon to have developed the ability to turn off all distracting emotions while he does his job for the patient. It's not being able to shoot someone without seemingly flinching admittedly...but I think a future chapter when Simon snaps at Mal about his habit of just going dead emotionally would be quite well-served by Mal responding back about Simon's own tricks of the trade;)

BEB
Tuesday, 04 September 2007 06:40
I somehow managed to miss that you posted another chapter! I loved it - it seems so very real and in character for both of them. Please continue this, okay? One of the most enjoyable stories around.

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