Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL
Comments
Tuesday, 20 February 2007 14:23
very difficult to make this chapter.
Did you like the analogy of Rivers alias Spring?
also the River and Jimmy moment so touching.
i appolagise for all errors and will correct them if you point 'em out.
the 5th and finaly chapter will be posted in due course.
Did you like the analogy of Rivers alias Spring?
also the River and Jimmy moment so touching.
i appolagise for all errors and will correct them if you point 'em out.
the 5th and finaly chapter will be posted in due course.
Wednesday, 21 February 2007 08:33
Not to sound harsh, but it's not a simple matter of a small handful of errors that can be quickly corrected; the entire document, while great at its foundations (story idea and basic character behaviour), the formatting and setup of the chapter is still rather rough. My suggestion of asking around the Blue Sun Room for a beta reader to help things run smoother is still a good one, jeraxus:(
Still...I am intrigued at why the AUE is so gung ho to get the Gerrelds back from the BDHs. That and River's "conversation" with Jimmy was rather amusing before getting mighty sad;)
BEB
Still...I am intrigued at why the AUE is so gung ho to get the Gerrelds back from the BDHs. That and River's "conversation" with Jimmy was rather amusing before getting mighty sad;)
BEB
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