Title: Two Times They Were Wet and Cold

Rating: PG-13 or so.

Disclaimer: It's Joss's 'verse, I just borrow it.

Summary: Two things that never happened to Mal and Inara. X-posted to LJ for the Truthsome Ficathon.

Thanks to AWindsor for all her darm encouragement. ;)

Two Times They Were Wet and Cold

By Kaynara

***

1. In the Black

“You're lying on my hair.”

He looks offended.

“I'm trying to save you.” He says it like she should be grateful.

She wants to answer: “I didn’t ask to be saved.” But that’s petty, and she refuses to be the petty one here. So she doesn’t say anything, just gives his rump a shove and frees her hair. She trails her fingers through the strands as though she's assessing damage. And gallantly ignores him.

“You know what? Shiny. No more savin’.” He’s mostly teasing and a little hurt. He wanted to play the hero, and she's ruined his fun. If this were fun. Which it’s not. “Amount a time you spend tending to that mane, I’d say it was a paying client.”

He grins, and she wants to slap the grin off his face and while he's reeling from the blow, kiss him senseless. She imagines thrusting her tongue between his lips to lick his teeth and the roof of his mouth. Kiss him till he’s fluid and gasping, his mouth opening and closing like a fish's. She thinks the shock of her kissing him might just kill him. Of course, she doesn’t wish him dead. It's just that she tends to think more fondly of him when he’s not in her sight. If they were to leave each other's presence for good, she might just fall in love.

“. . . .oughta think about moving. Could maybe mount a half decent stand in the—”

He's still talking. She snickers and thinks, “I could do stealthy better than that.” She, who was taught from age twelve to stand out.

“I, uh, been outta ammo since that encounter in the galley. I don’t suppose you’re carrying…anything?”

She hikes up her skirt to show the pistol riding her thigh.

“Huh,” he sa