Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Down the Rabbit Hole - Chapter Eight

Friday, January 12, 2007

Mal and Simon on the run from Feds. Not slash. This chapter: "Oh God, no, oh God,wo de tien, a, oh God..." More fun if you've read the previous chapters, or at least the last one.<a href="http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=14712"Chapter One</a>, <a href="http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=14852"Chapter Seven</a>. Thanks!


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2970    RATING: 9.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

Tweet

Not even Book could dispute the veracity of his aim this time. Simon watched, horrified, as the man dropped to the ground with a surprised gasp.

Which gave way to an explosion of cursing in Mandarin.

Oh God.

Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh God, no, oh God, wo de tien, a, oh God... Simon scrambled across the yard and fought down a wave of nausea as he knelt beside his victim.

Ni ta ma de! Tian xia suo you de ren! Dou gai si! You shot me! I can’t believe you gorram shot me!”

“I’m sorry…I’m… tzao gao…I’m sorry!” Simon pried Mal’s right hand away from where it clutched the wound, the instinct to assess overriding his own shock.

Gun shot to extreme upper left quadrant, involving chest and shoulder.

tian a, they’d almost - no, he’d almost - hit the neck…

Significant bleeding…not spurting or pulsing… no major blood vessels... no exit wound…

But there was something else…his fingers found the damage as Mal yelped: bone was pushing up under misshapen skin. Simon winced. That was going to cause problems.

Mal chose that moment to confirm the prognosis, digging his fingers into Simon’s shoulder with a sharp intake of breath as he jerked himself into a sitting position. “Son of a bitch,” he ground out.

“I’m sorry!” Simon caught Mal’s good elbow to steady him, cursing himself in four languages. “I didn’t know it was you.”

“That’s a---ah,” Mal’s voice hitched as he tried to get his feet under him --- “that’s a comfort. We got to get inside.”

“But where’s the other---”

“Dead.” Mal shifted, using Simon for leverage. “Come on. We gotta --- gotta move.”

“First let me stabilize this.” Simon reached for the arm Mal had cradled against his side, noting the unnatural slump of his

Comments
Friday, 12 January 2007 19:27
Silly Simon... I hope he gets a chance to redeem himself! And poor Mal. As if his simple day of shopping hasn't turned complicated enough already!

I can picture Nathan making this line funny:

"You shot me! I can’t believe you gorram shot me!"

I thought it was pretty funny. But I'm like that.

I sure you're working your tail off on Chapter 9, homespun! How many will there be total, do you know?
Saturday, 13 January 2007 01:42
What an awesome piece of work! I love Simon's reaction - so true to character and so easy to see shooting the gun as his only choice. Waiting patiently for the rest - I know it will be awesome too.
Saturday, 13 January 2007 02:51
I really love this. The banter between Simon and Mal is just perfect as is the sarcasm.

>“You are a man who shot me.”

I can see that coming out of Mal's mouth SO vividly. Teminds me of Simon's line in Objects in Space 'You 'are' talking to a doctor'.

Nicely done. Looking forward to the rest.
Saturday, 13 January 2007 03:46
This is so great - I've been reading it on and off since the beginning ... your characterizations of Simon and Mal are absolutely prefect!

My favorite line - Simon's reflection:

>Up to him. This is what happens when you shoot your captain.

Priceless! And I agree with Mal4Prez, Nathan would have a field day acting this as would Sean!

Keep it up - can't wait for more ...
Saturday, 13 January 2007 11:54
I adored this! It was also another layer of sadness that the householder who shot Mal was only trying to defend the little he had left that the Alliance had taken/ruined. Mal would not have shot him if he could have got through to him hence the regret. And then the surprise of Simon shooting the Captain thinking he was doing his bit to keep their enemies at bay, the horror of realisation then the consequences of having an injured Captain and Simon now having to do things he would not ordinarily be doing. I sure hope he doesn't get nabbed getting that cortex link back. Absolutely priceless story with some of the best dialogue between Simon and Mal that I have read in a long time. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Saturday, 13 January 2007 14:16
Ok, I can't add anything that hasn't already been said by the other commenters - but wonderful stuff, loving it.
Sunday, 14 January 2007 13:59
Um, oops? Big gorram oops? That 'bout covers it. Interesting that Simon would go all Dick Cheney on his captain...


Rob O.
Tuesday, 16 January 2007 05:46
Least Mal knows Simon can shot when the moment calls for it and can actually hit something;)

But yeah...not good. The situation I mean. Dialogue was Joss-level brilliant, homespun! Especially how you had Mal ramble on about what he had to do and hinting at what it's like to be in the dead man's shoes:(

BEB
CCA
Monday, 29 January 2007 03:46
Please, please continue this story!!! I really am enjoying this. The characterization is dead on, everything flows so perfectly and just I can't stand the idea of you not continuing. This was one main reason I joined this site to tell you how much I am loving this story so please, please continue. Great work!

Monday, 29 January 2007 12:08
I apologize for the lack of update. I've hit some bumps in the narrative road and I am waiting for my muse to drop by and straighten them out. Evidently she keeps a schedule like a cable repair guy. Thanks for reading, I promise I will finish.

Post Your Comments

You must log in to post comments.