Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Down the Rabbit Hole - Chapter Seven

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Mal and Simon on the run from Feds. Not slash. This chapter: sometimes you just have to feel sorry for Simon. A/N: thank you for the nice comments. I apologize for not answering or being a good reviewer of late - real life is real busy and I'm concentrating my fandom efforts on getting a new chapter finished. But I do appreciate it.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3163    RATING: 9.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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He landed facedown in dirt and leaves, arms covering his head, neurons simultaneously screaming at him to run and holding him unmoving, until the shooting ceased as suddenly as it had started. Simon looked up cautiously.

“He’s outta ammo,” Mal whispered. He was crouched on Simon’s side of the hovercraft, which now sat on the forest floor. “You got that gun?”

“Yes,” Simon answered, pulling the pistol from his waistband.

“Keep it out, and make for the house when I start firing. Use it if you need to. Don’t stop ‘til you’re behind those walls.”

“What about you?”

“Oh, I’m right behind you. I got no desire to linger.” Mal shifted position away from the hovercraft. “Can’t have that Cortex link getting shot up,” he explained. “Ready?”

Simon glanced ahead through the dark woods. The clearing was some hundred-plus yards distant. He bowed his head and readied himself to run.

“Go now!”

He sprinted for the house as gunfire started again behind him, first Mal’s revolver, then the rapid answer of the reloaded automatic weapon. He forced himself not to look back but raced on, branches slapping his face and snagging at his shirt and trousers, and a new worry occurring to him.

Fo zu, please let the house be empty.

He tightened his grip on the gun as he broke from the trees and sprinted across the yard, slowing only slightly as he leapt up bowed wood steps to a sagging back porch, and---oh, lao tian bu.

The door was ajar.

Simon ducked back into the shadows against the house, his mind racing. A trap? Had they been tracked? From their wave? Had they been herded here? Behind him the firing had again stopped, and he strained without luck to hear any sound from within the house, from the treeline, from anywhere. Where the hell was Mal?

An enraged yell sound

Comments
Wednesday, 10 January 2007 17:33
Ahhh! Excellent action - I can picture it so well. But why are these damn chapters so short!

I hope the next posts soon... I'm on the edge of my chair here!!
Wednesday, 10 January 2007 18:20
>At any moment the face would be visible. Better not to see it. Better not to risk the familiar features of a boyhood friend. Better to shoot now. Shoot him.
Shoot him.
Shoot him.
/Shoot him!/
And he fired.

What a perfect Simon moment - it is so hard to capture objects in motion well, and this moment of transition is captured with such clarity.
Wednesday, 10 January 2007 18:28
Nicely done. You've captured Simon's reluctance very well. Looks like Mal might have another scar to add to his collection...


"Here's an idea I've been workin' on, why don't we shoot her first?"


Rob O.
Wednesday, 10 January 2007 23:03
Beautifully captured. It was interesting to see how when push finally became shove that Simon would do what needed to be done if it was to save his friends or himself. I just hope there was only that one gunman and that Simon didn't miss. Can't wait for the next brilliant chapter! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Saturday, 13 January 2007 01:46
I hope your head is swelling with pride as to the quality of this fic - both the story line and the calibre of the writing. Love reading your work!
Saturday, 13 January 2007 04:04
Oh...now this is the kind of quality writing we got denied when the BDS was pulled! Definitely A-1 stuff, homespun:D

BEB

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