Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Down the Rabbit Hole - Chapter Two

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Mal and Simon's misadventure continues. A little danger, lots of snark. Not slash. Thanks for the encouraging reviews.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3030    RATING: 9.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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*****

They made their way through the tunnels at something between a trot and a run, Simon on one side, the captain on the other, able for the most part to navigate the slight slope toward the center and avoid the water. As the minutes passed and no troops burst through the ceiling, Simon’s nerves relaxed just enough for his thought process to resume.

It had been a near thing, their escape from the market. Whoever had recognized him had been shrewd enough to contact the authorities rather than raise his own hue and cry. Simon had been oblivious until the signature step-and-jingle of fast-moving soldiers had raised the hairs on his neck, and by then troops were closing in on the market stall where he was sifting through medical supplies. He had bolted for the rear, thinking to duck under the tables and into the next street, when the shooting started. A tower display of stethoscopes had crashed down to his left, and he looked to see Mal behind it, gun drawn, bellowing at him to run. And run he had, concealed in the noise and confusion of the surging crowd…

There was no noise here, no sound other than the scuff of their own footfalls, the rhythm of their breathing. Now and then the captain would pause to scan one of the wall maps, confirming that their route was still leading them to the outskirts northwest of the port. About half an hour in, he scaled a few rungs to listen at a manhole, but descended shaking his head. “Bu ha,” he whispered “Can’t hear through those things; can’t risk opening one just yet.”

Simon glanced up at the metal circle and tried to imagine what scene was playing out above their heads. Were their images being flashed around the Cortex, thrust in front of strangers rounded up on the streets? Were soldiers stationed, even now, at every tunnel exit, waiting to arrest them should they emerge?

Mal, meanwhile, moved with determination, although wh

Comments
Tuesday, 02 January 2007 18:39
Nicely done. You've characterized Mal and Simon very well, especially Simon's panic about being trapped by the Feds. Keep it up.

By the way, I'm a fan of shorter chapters. Don't always have the time to sit and read anything longer'n a couple of screens so, thank you. (I'm probably the only one you'll get THAT from)


"She'll turn you in faster than you can say... 'don't turn me in, Lady'."

Rob O.
Tuesday, 02 January 2007 19:43
Wonderfully done. I think I've read this before. It's posted elsewhere, right? Anyway, keep posting. It's definitely a quality read.
Tuesday, 02 January 2007 20:25
I thought the same thing Leiasky and apparently it was on livejournal, can't wait to read the rest of it. I loved it first time round and want MORE! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Tuesday, 02 January 2007 20:46
Yay! Or dare I say squeeee? ;) Two chapters in one day! I'm glad it's all written already so we'll get taken along... it's short chapters with weeks of separation that get me.

I agree the kicking man, very good characterizations. Fun read again!
Tuesday, 02 January 2007 22:14
Ok, I haven't read this (besides what's posted here) and I really like it and want more!
Wednesday, 03 January 2007 02:52
Your Mal voice is perfect! Can't wait for more...
Thursday, 04 January 2007 07:33
Yep...only Mal and Simon could get into a nacent argument about the expected use of flood control and fairly advanced sewer systems on Rim planets while fleeing Purplebellies in said sewer channels;D

And I really don't mind either short or long chapters. Both have their pros and cons, so finding a happy medium probably works best for all;)

BEB

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