The Way Of Jayne - Part 11
Monday, October 9, 2006
Sexifying, young Jayne and Maeve, the older guild-trained woman who taught him love arts. This part brings him back home and then to her waiting arms for one of their last sessions together. This thing is winding down to an ending, Gentle Readers. Please leave me feedback so's I can know how y'all feel about it. I'm obliged to you all.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3631 RATING: 9.0 (NC17) SERIES: FIREFLY
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The Way of Jayne, Part 11
His twin sister, Timmie, had a double armfull of Jayne almost quicker than she coulda wished, on account of the siblings teetered on their four feet, almost toppling to the dirt near the porch of the house. Jayne whooped and the girl thwapped him hard on the back, causing airborne dust that'd clung to his old coat on the cattle-drive homeward to billow out like steam off a teapot. His sister sneezed big, the only way she seemed to ever know how to do it, and kissed Jayne's stubbled cheek resoundingly, reaching a finger and thumb up to pinch the other side of his handsome man's face, laughing yelp-like as he ouched like it actually hurt.
The words were almost out of her mouth before their ma ran out on the porch behind them, her hands drying themselves on a worn grease-spotted apron, "Jayne! Boy, what in the name of a zhu tou is all them cows doin' here?" Timmie turned her already open mouth into a wide smile, nudged Jayne's big body toward their ma for a hug, and went on into the house to see about the other kids getting up and outside to join in the reunion.
"They're mine, ma. I earned 'em. My boss pulled up stakes and left sudden-like and the cows was still at the place we'd been workin', so they ain't nobody else to claim 'em." His arms around his ma's back in a big cuddle, he bent down almost in half, lowered one hand to the back of her thighs to lift her up off her tired feet like she weighed less than Maeve's cat. Her son spun slowly in place on the board floor of the porch as she laughed and held a work-wrinkled hand to her hair, head thrown back in stricken glee. Jayne stopped their rotation, carried the slight woman down the steps to the makeshift corral outside and the lowing bovines maneuvering inside it for best position. The cattles' noses raised to scent the new environs, tongues lolling or licking out as buttery mooing lowed in the morning air. Ma took her hands do
Vera <Fanning self>
First...It's been too long since you've given your fans an opportunity to read your awesome work, so please, please don't take such a long pause between this and the next. Gotta have more of it and quick.
Second...Did I tell ya, I like the way you write, and gotta have more of it?
Okay..I've lit up the Washie fic review'n pipe, and I have just a couple of lines that really stuck out. Okay, more than a couple, but man.....Washie...the way you write?
Okay..relights pipe...on to the fic.
Jayne whooped and the girl thwapped him hard on the back, causing airborne dust that'd clung to his old coat on the cattle-drive homeward to billow out like steam off a teapot. *One of your greatest skills, one in that you are hard pressed to be matched here is your use of descriptive words to help the reader see exactly what it is you are trying to get them to see...perfect example above, loved it.
The cattles' noses raised to scent the new environs, tongues lolling or licking out as buttery mooing lowed in the morning air. *I've said this before in prior feedback to you, having spent time on a ranch with cattle growing up I know what its like, and in this fic, you descibe the sounds, actions and smells perfectly. You had to have been a cattle darlin' at some point. If not, you should be.
"I ain't done nothin' wrong, Timmie. Those as lost a cow or two could well afford to lose 'em, don't you worry none. And, 'sides, you know gorram ruttin' well this family's needful of food and coin." *Another thing Washie...it's one thing to write a BDH as an adult with the series as a guide and make them believeable, it's another to write that same BDH much younger and make them believable. You have done this throughout this series with our Jayne boy, perfectly and were he portrayed in the series as young, you've captured his voice and character perfectly.
"I'm your little sister by only a few minutes, Jayne Cobb, and don't you ever forget it! I can take you in a fair fight, or if I think you're gonna start a fair fight, or if I just plain feel like it, any day of the week." *I always love it when writers weave a bit of the BDS or BDM into their fic and I loved this line, it just fits.
I ain't like ta open my pie hole about any particulars, Girl. Let's just say Wood Harbinger ain't got no need for cows nor coin where he's gone to." *Again perfect young Jayne, and Washie...not many venture down the same path as you've taken in this series, and you make it work everytime.
"Ain't nothin' old about ya, Ma, 'cept for that rag of a flour sack dress you're sportin'. Gonna get you a party dress with some of the proceeds of the cattle, see if we don't." *There are some that say our Jayne man doesn't have even the slightest bit of a heart, love or compassion left...you give the Jayne boy a softness of heart that hasn't been stowed away quite yet, we see that softness a couple of times in the series and movie, albiet faint, its there, and you gave it a begining.
"Mattie? Go on out and get that pork hanging out in the shed. We'll have Jayne's favorite meal tonight." *Momma, cookin' up her boy's favorite meal upon his return with the family fortune. You wrote his momma's happiness genuine, and thats also a quality worth praising you on.
"Ya been makin' pleasured noises that sound like repeated letter "m's" for the last hour and a half, plus ya been rotating up there enough ta make me feel like we been at sea." She pantomimed tossing and turning and commenced making a gutteral, "Mmmmm, BABY...", all the while with eyes closed, peering from beneath long feminine lashes. *okay, we all know what Jayne boy was doing, you'd think he'd be a bit more quiet though what with his sibs in the same room. LOL.
He felt pent-up yearnings for her body, groin tightening, his staff leaping at the thought of where he wanted to house it. *You're use of wonderful descriptive words on display yet again, talent Washie..pure talent.
He opened his mouth, blew hot breath onto her, then allowed his tongue tip to touch her ruche
"I'm your little sister by only a few minutes, Jayne Cobb, and don't you ever forget it! I can take you in a fair fight, or if I think you're gonna start a fair fight, or if I just plain
feel like it, any day of the week."
~ BWAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!! Great line.
Good hot sex stuff here too doll, can't wait for some more storyline and possibly conclusion (some reason for him to go offworld and not come back).
River, you're exactly on track for where I'm going. Within a few more chapters I plan to have Jayne leave like a bat outta Sheol, heading out to the stars seeking his fortune. And once you see why he leaves, you'll know why the big merc don't ever want to go back home again.
Thanks for sticking with the story, everybody. It's part of why I write.
Damn, Washie, you trying to kill me here? I could probably come up with a lot more coherent praise if my already cold-addled brain weren't now even further liquified by the extremely hot sexin' and the gorgeous despcriptive language...LOVE IT.
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