Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Choices of Serenity - Part 3

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The crew prepares to go after Jobe's daughter. Inara finds herself being asked to play a very large part in the job.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2333    RATING: 9.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Continuing the story of the BDH's as they plan to rescue Jobe's daughter from slavers. Thank you to EngineAngel for the beta.

If you missed out on previous parts, see the links below.

http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=11424>'Choices of Serenity-Part 1'

and

http://www.fireflyfans.net/bluesun.aspx?bid=12391>'Choices of Serenity-Part 2'

Like it or not, leave me a little feedback. Thanks!

Choices of Serenity - Part 3

Somebody set my face on fire, and put it out with a hammer!” Wash laughed. “Did I just hear Jayne Cobb convince us to do a job pro bono.”

“I didn’t say nothin’ about no bono!” Jayne snapped back.

“For free Jayne, it means doing the job for free,” Inara interjected.

“I knew that,” Jayne responded, embarrassed.

“Everyone just stop!” Mal shouted. “Think hard about this all of you. It ain’t like we’re gonna just break skids, fly off to Santo or wherever the kid is, pick’er up, and fly away all shiny and like,” he continued eyeing the crew as he spoke. “Slavers ain't the type to give up their stocks, just cause we say please. We can expect resistance, and that means there’ll be gunwork, and that means there's the likelihood of blood bein’ spilt. If we ain’t prepared for that, best maybe we rethink doin’ this.”

“Only blood to be spilt’s gonna be slaver blood as I see it,” Jayne boasted.

“There’s a mite more points of worry to be considered, Jayne. Not everyone on this boat is a gunhand,” Mal cautioned. “We set out on this, there can’t be any turnin' tail. I’m as befuddled as any of ya 'bout why Jayne here's takin' such a interest in the well-being of the little sprite, but ya’ll seem to be right on board. We do this, we do it together and each one does their part,” turning to Simon, Mal questioned. “I ain't heard your piece in all of this. You up for it, Doctor? You willin’ to put your little sister in harm's way ta save someone you don’t even know?”

“I…” Simon began.

“It will be bad,” River inter

Comments
Wednesday, 20 September 2006 15:04
The conversation about pro bono was just great! And do we ever find out why Jayne is all soft over this kid? Something similar happen to a family member?

I like your characterization a lot, especially of Jayne.

At first, I thought you'd send Simon in with Inara as a 'couple' looking for a little slave, but sending Book in seems right as well.

Looks like next chapter will be some thrilling heroics! Bring it on!
Thursday, 21 September 2006 03:53
“Somebody set my face on fire, and put it out with a hammer!” Wash laughed. “Did I just hear Jayne Cobb convince us to do a job pro bono.”

“I didn’t say nothin’ about no bono!” Jayne snapped back.- I loved this, very Jayne.

All and all a great story and a detailed lead up to the thrilling heroics of our BDH's.
Thursday, 21 September 2006 04:18
Spacie, I read this part happily and commented thoroughly but the ruttin' thing ATE my commentary. And of course I didn't gorram copy and save it first. What the pigu! Anyhow, here's a 10 for ya, and I'll review it again tomorrow. Gotta crawl between the sheets.
Friday, 22 September 2006 02:39
Hail! Hail! The gang's all here and ready to misbehave!

:D

Really loving how Mal's trying to run the job while knowing that he ain't got the coin to do things up shiny like. But he fails to realize that lots of coin doesn't equal perfect product;)

BEB
Friday, 22 September 2006 03:38
“Somebody set my face on fire, and put it out with a hammer!” ~~Best beginning for a fic EVER. Bar none. First time I heard you say this line, Spacie, it about killed me. To find it here in print is a dang treat. :0)

“I knew that, Jayne responded, embarrassed."~~ Jayne's reply to finding out he was wrong about what pro-bono meant? Priceless. Loving this fic from the git-go.

“Are we all agreed then?” Mal questioned again looking sternly at his crew.

Each head nodded in approval, bonding the crew to the fate of young Shae. "~~This bit is so good, so necessary for plot exposition. They're in, oh yes they are, and thrilling heroics must ensue!

“Only blood to be spilt’s gonna be slaver blood as I see it,” Jayne boasted."~~That's my boy!

Mal's asking Simon about joining in on the gig: dialogue is crisp and right-on for Mal. Simon's careful and well-reasoned remark and River's eerieness. Nice!

Book goes to find Jobe, tell him the news about Shae, and "Turning a corner, he found Jobe sitting alone, his back propped up against the side of a building. In his hands, he held the picture of his daughter."~~This is so poignant. Pulls a reader in to Jobe's plight.

After we see Jobe beside himself, hysterical with gratitude, we see Book dragging him back to sanity by strictly reminding Jobe that they need info for the rescue. And, "Helping Jobe stand, the shepherd took his arm and they slowly made thier way back to Serenity. “Now, tell me what you know about her captors……” "~~Nice job, good showing Book gentling the man, then turning to possibly-former Operative Book by smartly urging the details out of Jobe as they return to Serenity.

"The catalyzer is darn near burned to a crisp, but I was able to re-route it to make it work for a few more hard burns. I figured we’d need at least one or two of those, 'specially helpin’ Jobe’s kiddo out,” Kaylee responded with a smile."~~Here's our clever Kaylee, not Simon's brand of intellect, but so smart just the way we need her to be here.

"Slavers were a slimy folk and not particularly smart, but they were usually well armed."~~Love this line, sounds like it came directly out of any of the BDH's mouths, 'cept for maybe Simon. Great line.

Next we got Jayne and grenades. I can always stand to hear some more about that. Love the tie-in to the BDM.

Among the very best Jayne lines ever is this: “I’ve run with a lot of baddies in the verse. There ain’t none worse than slavers, in my opinion,” Jayne surmised. “’Bout as close to Reavers as you can get. They just sell flesh rather than eat it an’ wear it,” he continued. “Ain't worth a spot of lead, but I’d gladly give a few of 'em a couple of early tickets to the hot place if’n the opportunity arrives.”

His abilities weren’t matched by many, and on a job like this his badness would be needed. When it came to the lot they were most certain to face, she hoped his new found compassion would stay put on Serenity. ~~Zoe's thoughts on Jayne's abilities, gunhand, and badness, coming-and-going, (the man's a conundrum and I like him that way), it's all good. And her hoping that he leaves the goodness on Serenity and goes for full-on badness on the caper? Absolutely. Also: "Jayne’s skill with an iron"~~Mmmm. Nice way with words, Spacie.

"...Jobe was still a step short of hysterical,..."~~ Wish I'd written this line, so shiny. And then you have Book characteristically help ease him back to reality. I like the bond that's building between these two, and nobody writes Book better.

Wash remembered. “I hope they don’t remember your little impromptu pickpocket job Mal. We barely got out of there.”~~EXCELLENT tie-in to a great episode.

Yay! Mr. Universe is in this one! And LOL @ bust and run and Wash's messing with Mal about the phrase.

Great plan, Inara as a slave-buyer and Book as her indentured man. Quite a plot-builder you are, Space-Man.

"this job takes the slightest turn south, I’m pullin’ everyone out,..." Your Mal-speak in this chapter is some of the very best I've ever heard. Each line i
Saturday, 07 October 2006 09:14
This part was much better, loved it, but why do I get a feeling Jobe is going to screw everything up? I can't see him staying on the ship the way he is supposed to and he doesn't know any of Serenity's crew enough to be concerned for any danger he might put them through. I'm thinking with all the panic and worry about his daughter it will be too hard for him to sit still and do nothing but wait. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

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