Jayne in Pain
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
A little Rayne "entanglement".
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 2947 RATING: 9.0 (G) SERIES: FIREFLY
Okay folks. I needed to take a bit of a break from the drama I've been writing lately. So here it is, a little comedy ficlet, and I hope very much it makes you laugh. If it does, great, if it doesn't…at least its short! Leave me a bit of feedback either way if you have a moment.
Jayne in Pain
Burning through the black usually meant hours of wandering the many passageways that twisted their way around Serenity. Many crewmembers spent their time reading or playing games. Jayne often worked out or cleaned his arsenal, but when he got bored with that, he usually just wandered the corridors, exhibiting his wonderful social skills with each person he ran into.
***
In his eyes, River was just plain whacked. "Not all there," he’d whisper to himself whenever he caught her in one of her more flighty moments. But she was pretty...real pretty, the sort of pretty that made a guy sorta look beyond the fact that she’d been known to become violent. He had more than one scar, numbering themselves on both on his body and his pride, that reminded him of his tangling with the girl before.
Wonder if she’s ever kissed a man... Jayne pondered as he watched River skip through the cargo bay as if she were in a forest.
Continuing to watch her, Jayne made his way down the stairs and to the weight bench, taking a seat on the padded surface. Plum out of er’ mind she is, he thought again, shaking his head.
River’s skipping stopped. Turning to Jayne, she started to move towards him. Jayne’s body stiffened up, his seated posture preparing for a possible entanglement. River’s pace quickened, her body heading straight for the seated Merc who’s face was beginning to fill with fear.
Stopping dead, her nose nearly touching his, she looked into his eyes. “Jayne wants to know if the little crazy person has ever kissed anyone, eh?”
“Well, uh…the thought has crossed my mind few times,” Jayne answered becoming calmer, realizing he was apparently in the clear.
River leaned in, her m
"Burning through the black usually meant hours of wandering the many passageways that twisted their way around Serenity." ~~ love this line. its imagery and words are just wonderful...
"Jayne often worked out or cleaned his arsenal, but when he got bored with that, he usually just wandered the corridors, exhibiting his wonderful social skills with each person he ran into." ~~ wonderful social skills...HAHAHAHAHA
"River’s pace quickened, her body heading straight for the seated Merc who’s face was beginning to fill with fear." ~~ i like this line.
"River leaned in, her mind wrapping him in warmth." ~~ oooo nice description.
I love the whole concept spacie!!! Ah, poor Jayne...poor funny funny Jayne. Oh and making those phrases in chinese was fun :) I like the turtles tell no lies one *laughs* great job!!!
Okay, okay. I'll forgive you, because this fic was so ruttin' funny that I had trouble catching my breath during a laughing fit, and a coughing fit, and had to hold my sides from pain. I needed this bit o' fun, and I think you did too, after the painful but beautiful writing you did on Jobe's life in "Choices of Serenity", Part 2. Everybody who has the ability to read oughta read your Choices series, as well as the rest of your goods.
Loved River in this. Loved Jayne, though I'd give him a touch more smarts than you did, Buster. Loved the batman-style fight scenes. ADORED the translations Jayne tried. Ummm, "I'm the export manager" and "Here is my card"? LOFreakin'L! Yeah, the fic was a good one, a funny one, and even poetical at times: River skipped "through the cargo bay as if she were in a forest." That line is purely lovely, as is the line Engie quoted up above in her feedback.
Nice job, Spacie. I'll forgive you for the maltreatment of MY merc for the sole reason that your talent makes it okay.
-Washie.
when will you learn to not mess with 17 year olds who can kick your ass without breaking a sweat?
~hehehehehe, 'social skills'
the sort of pretty that made a guy sorta look beyond the fact that she’d been known to become violent
~I do think that River is the only one that fits that category, at least for me :)
I love the action words to accent her attacks as he cowers and runs away, yay for River.
I also love all of the Chinese and even the Russian that Jayne pulled outta his ass. Good stuff.
This was a very funny little one-shot, my only problem with it being that it was too damn short. Good work spacie.
Totally loved this, spacefullofobjects...though was there an exact reason I missed that Jayne's assinine comment triggered her whoopass skills? Cuz unless this is some sort of whacked out foreplay (which I could fathom as an explanation), then Jayne wondering if River's ever kissed someone who isn't family kinda doesn't make sense as a trigger...at least to me;)
BEB
It was all in fun man. Jayne made a comment to himself about kissing River, and she being a reader picked up on it, and ya know...I'm really not sure what set her off, but she kicked his butt.
In addition, it wasn't the fact that he finally got the words that put him out, it was his head striking the bulkhead, as he remembered them.
Thanks much for a good laugh, space. Needed it!
And oh, are you Russian or know Russian? My jaw almost hit the floor when I saw Jayne speaking Russian phrases, that was neat, hee :)
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