Simon walked in and stopped in his tracks. After a moment of utter stillness, his gaze traced over to Mal. “Should I even ask?”

“Stowed away,” said Mal calmly. “Looks to be in pretty rough shape, and there’s the small matter of the dent I put in the side of his head with my gun.”

Simon raised his eyebrows and didn’t bother to hide the slightly disgusted look on his face. “So you just had to beat him up, what, because he was there and so were you?”

Mal looked indignant. “I hit him. I didn’t beat him up, there’s a difference. ‘Sides, he went for my gun. Perfectly normal reaction.”

“Yeah, perfectly normal,” muttered Simon.

“Hey! I didn’t even knock him out!” protested Mal. “But somebody beat the hell out of this kid, and I’m thinkin’ maybe you should be savin’ some of that indignation of yours for whoever done it.”

“So you guys are just going to, what, talk about me all night?” broke in Harper. “Because, just in case you forgot, I am sitting right here, and as much fun as it is listening to your-“

He fell silent as Kaylee ran into the room breathlessly. “You all right, cap-“ Kaylee stopped short as her jaw dropped at the sight of their unexpected passenger. “Did – he – get mailed to us?” she asked.

“Nope,” said Mal. “This here is our resident stowaway.”

A fascinated grin spread across Kaylee’s face. “A stowaway? Shiny! We never had one of those before.”

“Um, well, come to think of it, you’re right,” said Mal, reflecting on the fact that it took a lot for something new to be thrown at this crew.

“Well, there was Saffron,” Simon pointed out.

“Yeah, but that was different. She married me an’ snuck aboard. I kinda doubt-” Mal looked sideways at Harper. “You ain’t married to me, are ya?”

“Absolutely no freakin’ way!

“See?” said Mal, gesturing at Kaylee. “Different. I say we christen him our first official stowaway.”

Simon moved to Harper’s side. “Let’s see that head of yours,” said Simon, reaching out with an antiseptic pad. Harper t