Gender and Violence and Blame
POSTED BY: Magonsdaughter
UPDATED: Tuesday, August 25, 2026 20:14
VIEWED: 35151
PAGE 3 of 31
Hello,
When I was in Elementary school, I experienced violence almost exclusively at the hands of a female, with a single noted exception.
When I was in Middle School, I experienced violence almost exclusively at the hands of males.
In both cases, I feel I was being victimized by people who felt powerless or had been bullied, and were using the violence as a means to reclaim their power using the conduit of a safe adversary who could not substantively oppose them.
I have also had to deal with sexual abusers, exclusively male.
The violence and abuses I endured in my life were sometimes at the hands of trusted figures responsible for my protection. Sometimes they were simply overlooked by trusted figures responsible for my protection.
--Anthony
Note to Self:
Raptor - woman testifying about birth control is a slut (the term applies.)
Context: http://tinyurl.com/d6ozfej
Six - Wow, isn't Niki quite the CUNT? And, yes, I spell that in all caps....
http://tinyurl.com/bdjgbpe
Wulf - Niki is a stupid fucking bitch who should hurry up and die.
Context: http://tinyurl.com/afve3r9
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” -T. S. Szasz
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Quote:Those responsible for MY abuse were mostly put on notice that it was discontinuing, a couple of times they were handed an elbow sandwich.
Originally posted by AnthonyT:
The violence and abuses I endured in my life were sometimes at the hands of trusted figures responsible for my protection. Sometimes they were simply overlooked by trusted figures responsible for my protection.
Did you get any such closure with yours, Tony?
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Hello,
I can credit martial arts for stopping my female assailant.
I should say that I have no talent for martial arts. I enjoy martial arts, but I enjoy a lot of things that I have no talent for.
One thing I'll always remember, that my instructor said ad nauseum: "Every block should be a strike." Which, you know, I'm not sure that's always appropriate. But it changed a young child's static blocks into a more active blocking maneuver that caused pain to the attacker. So she stopped hitting me, and went on to employ emotional abuses and manipulation instead. "Closure" on that score did not come until I was an adult, and I could perceive how totally wrecked this person was psychologically. Closure for me equalled understanding and forgiveness. I have not been able to forgive or understand all of my abusers. Only most of them.
The pedophiles are people I haven't been able to forgive or understand. The only emotions I associate with those experiences are shame. There was never any justice or bold standing up for myself on that score. Merely evasion and silence.
--Anthony
Note to Self:
Raptor - woman testifying about birth control is a slut (the term applies.)
Context: http://tinyurl.com/d6ozfej
Six - Wow, isn't Niki quite the CUNT? And, yes, I spell that in all caps....
http://tinyurl.com/bdjgbpe
Wulf - Niki is a stupid fucking bitch who should hurry up and die.
Context: http://tinyurl.com/afve3r9
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” -T. S. Szasz
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It is indeed possible to be too young, too small, too old, or too sick to deliver a proper ass-kicking, and anyone who thinks so is none of the above at the moment.
Nobody knows this more than my hubby, who was a physically intimidating young man- a 6'3" construction worker with lightening-fast reflexes, quick eyes, and ability to read people honed by years of physical and emotional abuse, and war experience at a young age. One of the things he constantly gripes about are the stereotypes of the crippled-but-effective sensei or the slip of a young woman who takes on a half-dozen men twice her size. Mass counts. So does strength. Just wait until you get to be MY age and then tell me about it. I'm sure Niki and Magons feel the same way.
Like I said- division of labor. Not everyone is able to be an ass-kicker, and not everyone should have to be.
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But surely neither mass and strength are everything.
Look, I was being more facetious than anything. I didn't mean to imply or suggest anything.
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Not everything, but about 80%. The bigger the discrepancy, the higher the percent. Have you ever tried judo, or karate, or wrestling? I have (judo).
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Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
But surely neither mass and strength are everything.
Look, I was being more facetious than anything. I didn't mean to imply or suggest anything.
Hello,
Nothing is everything, and I think everyone who wanted to know it, knew that you were being faceitious.
Signy is right that cooperation is vital. Not everyone is going to be a good warrior, or will even be remotely interested.
The 'fighters' need not be the biggest and most massive, however. Nor strongest, nor youngest, nor most healthy.
As in all occupations, the best fighters are the ones who have an interest and aptitude for the craft. They may not be what anyone imagines when they think of a fighter. They may meet every stereotype or defy all expectations. They may be 90 pound slight women or 300 pound muscular male giants. They may be old people or young adults. Arthritis sufferers or perfectly healthy individuals.
And there may be heavyweight musclemen who have no desire to fight and there may be grandmothers who feel well enough and capable.
Stereotypes are for suckers.
--Anthony
Note to Self:
Raptor - woman testifying about birth control is a slut (the term applies.)
Context: http://tinyurl.com/d6ozfej
Six - Wow, isn't Niki quite the CUNT? And, yes, I spell that in all caps....
http://tinyurl.com/bdjgbpe
Wulf - Niki is a stupid fucking bitch who should hurry up and die.
Context: http://tinyurl.com/afve3r9
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” -T. S. Szasz
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Not everything, but about 80%. The bigger the discrepancy, the higher the percent. Have you ever tried judo, or karate, or wrestling? I have (judo).
Hello,
In my classes, 80% was training and motivation. At least.
I can't tell you how many times I saw arthritis-ridden pensioners and little women take apart powerful, towering opponents.
I myself am a large, powerful male in my thirties, and I'm half-useless in a tussle. People just assume all kinds of things about you, and so my adult life has been largely free from violence.
This is good, because my childhood had too much violence and I don't miss it.
If I was out with friends and violence happened, I'd probably be the one the baddies were kicking the crap out of while my smaller, less strong, sometimes older, and often less healthy friends were the real threats.
--Anthony
Note to Self:
Raptor - woman testifying about birth control is a slut (the term applies.)
Context: http://tinyurl.com/d6ozfej
Six - Wow, isn't Niki quite the CUNT? And, yes, I spell that in all caps....
http://tinyurl.com/bdjgbpe
Wulf - Niki is a stupid fucking bitch who should hurry up and die.
Context: http://tinyurl.com/afve3r9
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” -T. S. Szasz
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:Who wins in a truck vs. motorcycle confrontation?
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
But surely neither mass and strength are everything.
In my case (motorcycle) ME, because I dropped down a gear & pressed it to get out of there, leaving the truck (& nearby cars) to pile up as they wished. THAT was from my martial arts training. If not I would have surely died that day.
It's NOT always about 'bigger'.
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Quote:For a LOT.
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
Mass counts.
All things being equal, the physically stronger opponent wins every time.
It's your job to make things unequal.
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