Take turns writing "The Adventures of Jeremy"
POSTED BY: Succatash
UPDATED: Thursday, February 26, 2004 05:29
VIEWED: 15545
PAGE 8 of 11
The master stepped forward, "Look for Tash we must. Use the force we will."
The master closed his eyes and began humming. Jeremey and Teela glanced at each other then did the same. A few bars into the humming Jeremey realized the master was humming "the Raiders March."
"Wait wait wait!" Jeremy opened his eyes to see a man with a beard and a cap that said Jurassic Park across it.
"Speilburg!" the Master exclaimed.
"From this point on this story will not use any themes, idea's or concepts from my movies, got it? No more ripping me off!"
Speilburg grabbed the master and stalked off he was almost out of hearing range when he turned and shouted back, "You can't take my sky from me!"
A man and a big fuzzy thing walked by, "What's his problem, Chewy?"
"Annngghhhhyyyyghh."
Teela and Jeremy exchanged glanses then started looking around for any sighns of Tash.
"Look!" Teela shouted, "Tash goo! And here's more! With any luck it will lead us staight too him!"
"Right! We don't have much time left, let's go!" Jeremy was feeling very heroic with his cape on, he liked the way it bilowed behind him when he walked.
They folowed the goo untill it came to a door.
"On 3," Jeremy said, "1...2..."
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This is really starting to sound like Douglas Adams.
...........
"...3!" They pused open the door, and saw two people drinking tea.
"What the? Where's Tash?" Teela said.
"Two doors down." one replied.
"Oh. Thanks." The team ran off.
"Man, visitors just get weirder and weirder." The other one said as he continued to drink his tea.
_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard
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Meanwhile, Tash's head was being tortured by the Blue Hand men. The large man laughed cruelly and said to Succatash, "I've got a game we can play! It's called Head." He smiled evilly and pulled down the zipper on his pants. He was wearing a blue latex condom.
Succatash stared in horror. "I hope my friends get here soon!" he thought. Tears began streaming down his face.
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"Okay. This should be the door. Ready, go!" Teela opened the door.
"Tash! Oh my God..." Teela gasped. She was shocked, she was mad, and she had superpowers.
She starts to yell as loud as her throat will let her. "You let him go! You vile, scum of a man! How dare you! And zip up your pants!" She grabbed the Tash head. "Tash, you've been crying. Well, don't worry. We're going." she glared at the Blue-hands with a look that could melt lead, and she started to leave.
_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard
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Quote:
Originally posted by Saint Jayne:
We seemed to have crossed the line, incorporating Firefly into the adventure beyond just quotes.
"Silly Saint Jayne...you cannot cross the line. That's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth."
"Whaa...?" mumbled Saint Jayne, his attempt to think of something clever to write in the Jeremy thread about the jar-humping-blue-hands-men interrupted by strange green-lettered words appearing unbidden across his computer monitor, "...what truth?"
"There is no line."
"There is no line?" repeated Saint Jayne woodenly.
"Then you will see that it is not the line that is crossed, it is only yourself."
"But...but..." stammerred Saint Jayne, "this is just a story we're writing on this Firefly web site, it's not really --"
"THERE. IS. NO. LINE."
As Saint Jayne sat in front of his keyboard, at a loss as to how to respond, there was a sudden KNOCK at his door.
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BWWAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
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Saint Jayne yelled in fear. He was just a regular guy, a Firefly fan, and he was suddenly very scared.
Saint Jayne quickly pulled on his boots and grabbed the only weapon he could find. It was a heavy ceramic sculpture of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
He slowly opened the door and prepared to strike. To his surprise, it was just a small child.
"Hi, do you want to buy some cookies?" asked the little girl.
"No," said Saint Jayne. But the girl grew angry and kicked him in the shin. Saint Jayne cried in pain and doubled over. At that moment, the little girl grinned evilly and stabbed him with some kind of hyperdermic needle.
Saint Jaint was suddenly paralized but he was completely conscious. The little girl smiled sweetly and said, "We need to stop you from doing what you did in the future. There's some people wish to talk with you."
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"oh and for the record," the little girl added, "there is a line, but it is very fine, and it moves beneith you. You do not step over it. All that 'there is no line' stuff was just to distract you. Now come along." With incredible strenght the girl threw St. Jayne over her shoulder and began walking accros the lawn.
As he bounced along St. Jayne vaugly noticed his next door neigbor laying in front of a big yellow bulldozer in his pajamas and yelling, "display room? I found the plans for the overpass at the bottom of a locked cabnent in an unused bathroom in the basement with a sign that says 'beware of leapord' on the door!"
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Hours later, Saint Jayne walked like a robot into a nearby store. He was greeted by a friendly sales woman.
"Can I help you find something?" the lady asked.
"Yes," Saint Jayne answered, in a robotic tone. "I need a case of blue latex gloves and also a case of blue latex condoms."
The sales girl smiled. "Try aisle 15."
Without a word, Saint Jayne marched off towards aisle 15.
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Jeremy and Teela stood outside the blue guy's building. Teela had Tash under one arm.
"Well," Tash spoke up, "All this standing here is just a blast and thanks so much for saving me, but i AM leaking again."
"uhg" jeremy wrinkled his nose, "do we have to fill the jar again?"
"let's find a new jar first. Baby steps," Teela suggested.
"Hey look a convenience store!" Jeremy said,"how very convenient."
"As the name implyies," Tash said rolling his eyes, "Now can we get on with it?"
They went into the store and bought a large jar of pickles. As they were on there way to the checkout when they noticed a small display:
LIFE GOO
KEEP YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES BODY PARTS ALIVE WITH EASE AND GRACE
SALE BUY GALLON ONE GET ANOTHER GALLON FREE!
They picked some of that up, shoplifed the whole deal, (time travel had not only messed up their watches, but apparently emptied theur pockets as well), dumped out the pickles, and soon Tash was bubbling happly away in a new, crack free jar. It did smell vaugly of pickles but one couldn't be picky when it came to life support.
They were wondering what to do next when they saw a man leaving the store with a shopping care filled with blue gloves and condoms.
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