Take turns writing "The Adventures of Jeremy"
POSTED BY: Succatash
UPDATED: Thursday, February 26, 2004 05:29
VIEWED: 15545
PAGE 7 of 11
Jeremy smiled innocently at young Succatash, the delivery man. "Oh yeah?" he said. "You want me to put the future Succatash Head into a mailbox and leave it for 100 years? Why, that's murder. Therefore, the paradox would still exist under the conditions stated in this note. YOU ARE NOT THE REAL SUCCATASH! Who sent this watch?"
The young, handsome Succatash smiled pleasantly. "Fuck you," he answered, then kicked Jeremy in the testicles. Jeremy groaned, "I'm more or less intact!" and fell with a thud, unconscious.
The mysterious watch clattered to the ground. Teela picked it up and tossed it quickly into a nearby sewer drain.
2 seconds later, it exploded and everyone was blown far away, and they were all hurt.
But they weren't dead. The explosion sent clouds of smoke into the air. A dark figure appeared within the twirling whirlwind.
"Always in trouble, ye be" came the high pitched voice of the Master. "Leave me behind, you do, ya bastards."
"Master!" cried Teela B, and she got up and then fell back down. Somehow, she managed to stumble into an elequent bow.
Jeremy woke groggily. His head felt like it was in cement. He struggled to stand, and then realized his head was actually stuck in cement. After furious twisting and turning, he broke free and found himself staring at a sign that read, "Caution, Wet Cement."
"This isn't my day," muttered Jeremy.
Muffled shouts and cries for help could be heard under a nearby pile of debris. Jeremy staggered over to the sound and began moving rocks and fragments of wood. At last, he pulled the Jar O Tash to safety. Miraculously, the jar wasn't cracked and all the goo remained intact.
The Master smiled at Jeremy, and spoke, "Headstrong, ye be. Angry. I sense it in you. But you are doing well."
Then the Master turned to Teela Brown and bowed. Everyone was astonished.
"Why are you bowing to me, Master?" asked Teela B. She was confused. The Master snapped his fingers and suddenly a bright red jumpsuit appeared in thin air.
The Master spoke to Teela, "A Magic Jumpsuit, this be. Wear it, you must. Special magic powers, you will have."
The Master snapped his fingers again, and suddenly Teela B. wore the tight-fitting Super Suit. Succatash whistled admiringly from inside his jar.
Teela B. was smiling, "Wow, I feel stronger, I'm a Super Hero, kick ass! I'm stronger than hell and faster than light, and lot's of other stuff too!"
"Only for you, will the red suit work," warned the Master, and he cackled in a high pitched voice.
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"Hey, nice suit, but I gotta question," spoke the Succatash head. He directed his gaze at Teela B. "Can you fly?"
Teela looked questioningly at the Master. The Master laughed playfully.
"Oh, a cape you be wanting? To fly? Must have cape!" cackled the Master. "The best part, this be."
Jeremy frowned. "Well, is she a true super hero, or not? Can she fly? How can we get the magic flying cape upgrade?"
The Master snapped his fingers and a golden cape appeared in thin air. "This be a magic cape, but belong to Teela B, it does not. To Jeremy it belongs."
Everyone gasped, and turned towards Jeremy. He stared in defiance at the Master and demanded, "But if Teela has the Super Suit, and I have the Cape, how can she fly? Can I just give it to her?"
The Master bowed, and answered, "Only for you, the Golden Cape works. Hug her, you must, if you wish to fly. Together, the only way to fly, is."
Teela B suddenly banged into Jeremy and sent him sprawling. She appeared out of nowhere.
"Sorry, Jeremy, I haven't figured out Super Speed yet," apologized Teela.
The Master cackled with glee and said, "My, this will be fun. Enjoy watching this, will I."
Jeremy rolled to his feet and approached the Master. "So, what else does my Cape do? I mean, besides help Teela fly if I hug her."
The Master stared at Jeremy and grew deadly serious. He spoke gravely:
"Many powers has the Cape. Walk unseen, you can. Stop a crossbow bolt, it will. 'Tis fireproof, and cannot be cut by any human blade. Save you from death, it can. Only for you, the cape magic works."
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Just then, a strong, handsome woman emerged from behind the shadows. She wore a tight blue jumpsuit. Beside her was a huge man wearing a large bronze cape.
"Shit, Holy!" cried the Master, "Foxie, it is!"
"I am Foxie," spoke the woman in a cold voice. "This is my Capeman, Raul. Prepare to die, weaklings." She looked Teela up and down, and smirked. "So, it seems I have a new enemy. You're new, Miss Red Suit, so I won't kill you right away. But be assured, I will kill you."
Teela gulped. She was afraid, but she felt her newly found power surging through every vein in her body. She tried to speak confidently. "I'm Teela Brown, and, uh, this is my Cape Man, Jeremy."
Jeremy smiled and waved at the big, blue lady, feeling foolish. He awkwardly adjusted his new cape, which suddenly felt weightless, despite the heaviness of the material.
Teela looked sad and scared, so Jeremy protectively put his arm around her. Immediately, they began floating into the air.
"How dare you fly in my presence!" cried Foxie, indignantly. Her blue jumpsuit flexed impressively. She turned and roughly grabbed her huge Capeman, and hopped onto his shoulders. They began to float into the air.
"This is how we fly," boomed her big Cape Man, speaking for the first time.
Jeremy clung to Teela with all his strength, and shouted, "Good god! What's going on!" They floated helplessly in the air while the evil Blue Suited super woman and her Cape Man came at them Chicken Fight style.
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Tash, you are twisted, yet extremely hi-lrious. And I'm also wearing a red jumpsuit right now...
..........
Teela started talking. "Well, we're not going to run away. We need to win. Move!" Foxie and Capemen came hurdling towards them, Jeremy moved, and they went hurdling past.
"What else can this jumpsuit do? Do I have anything else besides Superspeed? Move." Foxie stopped them, and threw a suprised looked at Teela.
"Not fair! Your jumpsuit gives you clairvoyancy!"
"It does?"
"Yeah! You weren't even paying attention and you always missed us. Oh well. Prepare to die!"
TBC...
_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard
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Tash twisted around in the jar as he tried to look up from the ground and see the action. he had just gotten a good view when two very large black shoes stepped into his view.
"Hey, move it! I'm trying to cheer on the home team here."
The very large man wearing the very large shoes leaned down and looked eye to eye with Tash, "I think not," he said in a gruff voice.
Tash's jar bubbled.
The very large man picked up the jar-o-tash and started walking down an alley.
"Hey! You can't do this to me! I'm an American!"(1)
The very large man said nothing but continued walking. A slightly smaller man stepped out of the shadows and walked along with them.
Then Tash noticed something very scary and generaly not good about the very large man and the slightly smaller man.
"Guys!" he shouted, "Hey guys! Help! They have blue gloves on!"
Jeremy and Teela didn't notice his screaming.
"Guys!!" he banged his head against the side of the jar. The taped up crack grew and some goo ozed out and spatterd on the ground. Every few steps that the very large man some more gloo spilled out.
"Guys!" Tash kept screaming, "Two by two!! Hands of blue!! Two by two!! Hands of blue!!!
(1)hey, bonus points for whoever can name the movie that this quote came from.
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OOC:
Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
(1)hey, bonus points for whoever can name the movie that this quote came from.
That implies there's only one. I'll go with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
We seemed to have crossed the line, incorporating Firefly into the adventure beyond just quotes. Now anything goes...
----
Foxie's lips moved, and out-of-sync words came out. "You have insulted my family. Now we must Kung Fu fight!"
The battle lit up the sky, although that might have been the street lamps turning on. The fast action nearly jarred Jeremy off of Teela's back a number of times, and he had to cling for dear life, eventually wrapping his legs around her waist.
Teela Brown saw an opening. In a sacrifice maneuver, she climbed out of Jeremy and pushed off with her legs, leaping powerfully at Foxie. Raul easily side-stepped (-glid?) the attack, and Teela Brown embedded herself inside the building behind him.
Foxie grinned evilly and turned to glare at Jeremy.
Jeremy stalled for time. "Uh, before you kill me, or not, there could be torture, I must say something. It's... uh, it all started when I was 10 and..."
Distracted by Jeremy's final words, neither Raul nor Foxie noticed the building behind them teeter closer. No shadows betrayed the slow attack. By the time Foxie looked back to see what that gnarling noise was, it was too late.
CRASH!
Foxie crawled painfully from underneath the empty office building, gasping, "...her luck... it's... amazing..."
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Meanwhile, Tash felt dizzy as the Life Goo drained from his cracked jar. For a brief second, Tash thought he heard the Ghostbusters theme song, but the sound quickly faded away.
"Help...me...." he whispered.
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OOC: You were close St. Jayne, but not quite there.
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"Dibs on her suit!" Jeremy called out as they landed.
The master shook his head, "Not your color, is red. Fit you it will not. Now, interrogate the prisoner, we will"
Teela looked around," Somethings missing," she said.
Jeremy snapped his fingers, "A mask! All super hero's need masks!"
"That's not what I mean."
"Gone is the building?" suggested Master.
"Yeah, but it's not that either."
There was a pause as Tash didn't add his suggestion.
"Tash! Tash is gone!"
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OOC:
Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
OOC: You were close St. Jayne, but not quite there.
Of course, you're right, it was Marian, not Willy, so that must make it Raiders of the Lost Ark.
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