How Do You handle Death?

POSTED BY: RiveR6213
UPDATED: Sunday, January 18, 2009 19:09
VIEWED: 23778
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MIMA

Sunday, June 11, 2006 5:00 PM

thanks for the post river. that's the kind of response i was looking for. i also liked the one you made to sameertia. i feel like you're responding to the ideas more, not just restating. i appreciate your willingness to clarify.

the huffy feeling i got from your dislike of the word hollow. you still haven't explained why you didn't like that label?

RIVER6213

Sunday, June 11, 2006 6:56 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by mima:
thanks for the post river. that's the kind of response i was looking for. i also liked the one you made to sameertia. i feel like you're responding to the ideas more, not just restating. i appreciate your willingness to clarify.

the huffy feeling i got from your dislike of the word hollow. you still haven't explained why you didn't like that label?

I really don't have a problem with the word hollow.

Anyway, people have there own ways of coping with death. Some people work a lot so they won't have to think about it. Some people get all bent out of shape and their universe is crushed for a while. Some on the other hand get thoughtful and write a lot about how they feel about everything, and some start to eat a lot and do drugs, plus drink in order to fill up the emptiness around them in order to cope. Some people close up and never open again. Some people stop eating and sleeping, and some people commit suicide.

There are some cultures where they take the dead body, surround it with food and drink, and then everyone has like this party with the corpse right there. Now that's creepy.

River

SISTERBETTYX

Sunday, June 11, 2006 7:03 PM

Our family treats death like a celebration. All the families and friends from around the world show up and we have this huge party for 7 days. I don't know why we picked seven days to do it, but we do and everyone is encouraged to party hard which we do. After it's all over we sit in silence for 1 hour, and then we all go home.

“I don’t know. This here’s a spectacle might warrant a moment’s consideration.”

DEEPGIRL187

Sunday, June 11, 2006 7:17 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by RiveR6213:
I really don't have a problem with the word hollow.

Anyway, people have there own ways of coping with death. Some people work a lot so they won't have to think about it. Some people get all bent out of shape and their universe is crushed for a while. Some on the other hand get thoughtful and write a lot about how they feel about everything, and some start to eat a lot and do drugs, plus drink in order to fill up the emptiness around them in order to cope. Some people close up and never open again. Some people stop eating and sleeping, and some people commit suicide.

There are some cultures where they take the dead body, surround it with food and drink, and then everyone has like this party with the corpse right there. Now that's creepy.

River

It's not really that creepy. Instead of mourning the person's death, they're trying to celebrate their life. The same principle works for the funerals held in New Orleans where they have parades and marching bands perform. These cultures make death into a positive experience instead of something negative to dwell on.

*************************************************

It's just an object. It doesn't mean what you think.

CHRISISALL

Sunday, June 11, 2006 7:21 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by RiveR6213:
I can't believe I remembered that! As a teen, I cried over that episode! I was such a weak-assed little girl back then.

Let you inner weak-assed little girl out sometimes, even if it's just to cry for Kirk or Buffy. You run with shields up to protect her, and she doesn't need it anymore.

Chrisisall

CHRISTHECYNIC

Sunday, June 11, 2006 7:26 PM

I avoid it like the plague.

Honestly I think death has a habit of coming at the wrong time. For some reason it comes too soon as a truck's mirror contacts a child's head and she's whipped out of existence.

Sometimes it comes too late as, on that very same day, Regan died long after he was too far out of it to enjoy life in any way.

Sometimes it can be put off like a relative of mine who lived for a full two years after he was told he had six months to live just because he didn't like the idea of those damn doctors telling him how long he could stay alive.

-

In some cases I don't understand other people's reactions. Remember that one they took off life support? After it happened her parents said she was in a better place, the same better place that they had been working to keep her out of.

What the hell was up with that? Here they are and they claim they honestly believe there is a better place that their daughter will go to as soon as she is no longer trapped in her body where she lacks the ability to enjoy life, so what do they do? They do everything in their power to make sure that she is not allowed to go to that place.

If I assume that they are honest and they really do believe in that better place the only conclusion I can draw is that they must have hated their daughter.

-

Personally I don't like death much most of the time. When someone is enjoying their life there's no reason to leave it and I hate to lose them. When someone is in horrible pain (it need not be physical) and they've got no reason to go on and there's nothing left for them here death can be something welcome, many people have earned a death to release them from the life they no longer want.

The problem can be that just because you want to be dead now doesn't mean that five minutes or five years from now you won't be happy you lived. Well if dying stopped you or those you care about from being happy then it wasn't a good thing now was it?

When your life is complete nothing good comes out of not dying, and thus death is a good thing, it stops you from going on longer than you should and ending a good life on a depressing note. When your life isn't complete death is something bad which destroys hopes and dreams and leaves a path of sorrow in its wake.

Death is about timing, and that is the only thing that separates the good from the bad.

-

I should point out that some people know when they're done. My great grandmother stayed alive for my great grandfather, when he died her life was complete and she followed soon after, she didn't need to kill herself, her body somehow knew that it was time to turn off. A lot of people are like that, even when they die violent deaths, just think about how many times someone had something to say, said it, and then died right after finishing those last words.

RIVER6213

Sunday, June 11, 2006 7:34 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
Quote:
Originally posted by RiveR6213:
I can't believe I remembered that! As a teen, I cried over that episode! I was such a weak-assed little girl back then.

Let you inner weak-assed little girl out sometimes, even if it's just to cry for Kirk or Buffy. You run with shields up to protect her, and she doesn't need it anymore.

Chrisisall

This thread is not about me okay? I'm sorry you guys don't agree with my world view and that's okay, but I didnt start this thread to talk about myself. I posted a lot to keep the thread going for a while...that's all. Just curious how people handle death in their lives thats all.

When I stress a point of view, I'm not stressing it as though my way is for everyone, I'm just sharing what works for me. So what if my view is a little bit more extreme than yours? So what? it doesnt stop you from having your own experience, so stay on topic people and leave the psych 101 at the door.

And Chrisisall, if I could go back in time I would choke the life out of that little girl. Just thought you might like to know that.

River

COPILOT

Sunday, June 11, 2006 8:15 PM

The only person I've been close to who died was my grandfather.
I lived with my grandparents all through high school. So basically I watched him die for three whole years.
At his funeral I read a poem I wrote for him at my grandmothers request.

I lost the paper but I rememeber one line

Death was not his tragity it was his release

So that is how I feel about death. But some days my christian upbring rears it ugly head and I worry that they're right and I'm a sinner and shall burn for all eternity.

An I carried such a torch.......For the Dark Lord

JTSKIER1200R

Sunday, June 11, 2006 8:49 PM

I hope nobody is offended by this, but I have noticed that not many have posted anything religious here - so here goes.

River: I cried when I read your posts, not out of pity, but out of sadness for the emotions I feel in you - it seems in you there is only (I use that word carefully, not demeaningly) fear and hopelessness. I hope that is not the case.

I believe every human, even the one who dies while you eat a sandwich, is worthy of crying for. Death is worth crying over, for it is not how the world is supposed to be. Death is an evil, something which brings pain and suffering.

As for my beliefs, I believe that death is unnatural, something abhorrent to our very natures - yet it is something that comes. For me, as a Christian, death is an evil, and it is worth mourning because of the pain it causes, both for the living and for the dying. Pain of broken relationships, missed companionship, and innumerable other hardships. Yet, for me, there is hope of the resurrection in death. Death is a transition, the shedding of our bodies to a new state, and eventually the resurrection of our bodies. So, I mourn for death in the pain it causes and that is not meant to be here but is the result of evil, yet I rejoice in the promise of resurrection, both for me and for those who die in Christ.

I know at times religion can be offensive, so my apologies if it is, yet I felt I needed to tell how I deal with death, and how I feel death is worth crying over, for every human is infinitely valuable. My heart breaks reading some of these posts.

PS: I dont want this to become a thread on theology, so please, I dont wish to defend all I said above here. If you have specific questions for me, please PM me. I would love to hear comments, however.

FOLLOWMAL

Sunday, June 11, 2006 8:56 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
Quote:
Originally posted by RiveR6213:
I can't believe I remembered that! As a teen, I cried over that episode! I was such a weak-assed little girl back then.

Let you inner weak-assed little girl out sometimes, even if it's just to cry for Kirk or Buffy. You run with shields up to protect her, and she doesn't need it anymore.

Chrisisall

Chris you are a wise man.

I lost my father a year and a half ago at Christmas, Dec. 26th to be exact. He died on his Mother's birthday and I told him as he slipped away from me that he was so good to wait until the day AFTER Christmas. I sat with my Father all night long and waited with him for death. I was there when he drew his last breath. He was the bravest man I knew and he faced death with dignity and strength no different than I'd come to know him for. I cried, I cried plenty. I was also thankful that I knew him and he loved me and I loved him. I was grateful for all the years that we were so close.
I was grateful for the pain. I was so much more blessed by the love over the years.. that the pain was well worth it.

I expect to have some more death in my life before it's my turn. It will be horribly painful, but only because I was so close to those who I will lose that I will miss them, and mourn them. And rightfully so. I am alive and I love, therefore I will suffer. I'm glad it's so. I am not so afraid of my own personal pain, that I can't know love and enjoy it.

The greatest pain I can think of is to not have love of others and they of you.

"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal

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