How Do You handle Death?

POSTED BY: RiveR6213
UPDATED: Sunday, January 18, 2009 19:09
VIEWED: 23778
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THESOMNAMBULIST

Sunday, June 11, 2006 9:21 PM

I only read the first few posts about this and frankly I'm amazed!!!

So what, it's now 'uncool' to morn the death of someone you love!

What the hell! This world is ridiculous!

OK I'll gladly fall into the uncool category and raise my hand and say I lost it when my grandfather passed away recently. Now when I say lost it I mean I shed several tears over a man who had a big hand in making my childhood a memorable one.

Now I may be all manner of wrong in feeling that way but frankly - I don't care.

This is one of the more ridiculous things I've come across here. Here on a forum that on a daily basis mourns the cancelation of a TV show.

While it's all so very philosophical to just sit and dispassionately look at the cycle of life and death as one great big moment of cosmic indigestion, I tend to find that the very human instinct of fear of death as a genuine factor to understanding the pleasures in life.

If people think death nothing to fear then I suggest you've never had to really struggle for life. Maybe y'all should take yourselves off to a far less sympathetic exsistence somewhere, where life is a real struggle, just for the more basic of things like warmth, and water and food. Oh I know it's a cliché to bring up such arguments, but clichés are such because they have a ring of truth about them.

I guarantee any of you, who have to do without some of your more basic of 'gifts' in your lives, you would crumble very easily, and I might add, with zero digntiy.

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

RIVER6213

Sunday, June 11, 2006 9:30 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by jtskier1200r:
I hope nobody is offended by this, but I have noticed that not many have posted anything religious here - so here goes.

River: I cried when I read your posts, not out of pity, but out of sadness for the emotions I feel in you - it seems in you there is only (I use that word carefully, not demeaningly) fear and hopelessness. I hope that is not the case.

I believe every human, even the one who dies while you eat a sandwich, is worthy of crying for. Death is worth crying over, for it is not how the world is supposed to be. Death is an evil, something which brings pain and suffering.

Thank you for taking an interest in this thread.

There's no fear, nor hopelessness here in my life. I'm as safe as a bug in a rug. happiness doesnt always have to have other people guest-starring in it. Why is it that a person who is alone and isolated always percieved as unhappy, hopeless, and full of fear?

My life is great and I have all the things I need in it. If I can manage to keep myself away from people...everything should be fine, but if I up and decide I need to hangout with other people...oh well, I only am asking for trouble and will get what I deserve; I always do.

Death is not an evil. it is something that's been around for as long as life has. Can you imagine what this world would look like if nothing died? Be pretty over crowded I suspect.

Sorry aboout the eating the sandwich and watching someone die line. I reread that later on and thought that it sounded rather ghoulish.

Anyway, your way of hadling death is just as interesting as everyone else here who posted, so you didnt offend anyone. And as far as your religious leanings, been there, done that. Interesting, but I'm too willful for that, but other people find that its a great source of strength and stability for themselves, which is a good thing. We all need a foundation.

You sound like you are a very feeling person...this is a good thing for you. keep it up.

River

RIVER6213

Sunday, June 11, 2006 9:41 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
I only read the first few posts about this and frankly I'm amazed!!!

So what, it's now 'uncool' to morn the death of someone you love!

What the hell! This world is ridiculous!

OK I'll gladly fall into the uncool category and raise my hand and say I lost it when my grandfather passed away recently. Now when I say lost it I mean I shed several tears over a man who had a big hand in making my childhood a memorable one.

Now I may be all manner of wrong in feeling that way but frankly - I don't care.

This is one of the more ridiculous things I've come across here. Here on a forum that on a daily basis mourns the cancelation of a TV show.

While it's all so very philosophical to just sit and dispassionately look at the cycle of life and death as one great big moment of cosmic indigestion, I tend to find that the very human instinct of fear of death as a genuine factor to understanding the pleasures in life.

If people think death nothing to fear then I suggest you've never had to really struggle for life. Maybe y'all should take yourselves off to a far less sympathetic exsistence somewhere, where life is a real struggle, just for the more basic of things like warmth, and water and food. Oh I know it's a cliché to bring up such arguments, but clichés are such because they have a ring of truth about them.

I guarantee any of you, who have to do without some of your more basic of 'gifts' in your lives, you would crumble very easily, and I might add, with zero digntiy.

The
Somnambulist

Somnambulist,

The title of this thread is 'How Do You handle Death'

I'm the only one here who believes that it's uncool to mourn the dead. If you read through all the posts you will find a lot of opposition to my devil-may-care beliefs regarding mourning. And you will be delightfully surprised to find that most here agree with you.

Your point of view regarding other people's experiences in this area is interesting. but maybe you should STFU.

I've had it pretty hard in my younger years, and I have been to other countries during my Peace Corp stint for 4 years, and I've lived in some places that the word 'hell' fits perfectly. I am well aware that life is a gift. But in my old age, I really could care less. I was never coddled nor given a break in life. Everything I acheieved, I did it through hard work and sacrifice. Nothing on this worlds for free.

Neither you nor anyone else will be able to change my mind concerning my world view. I seriously believe that if you could walk in my shoes...you'd be dead by now.

River

THESOMNAMBULIST

Sunday, June 11, 2006 10:05 PM

Originally posted by RiveR6213:

Quote:
I'm the only one here who believes that it's uncool to mourn the dead. If you read through all the posts you will find a lot of opposition to my devil-may-care beliefs regarding mourning. And you will be delightfully surprised to find that most here agree with you.

I've had it pretty hard in my younger years, and I have been to other countries during my Peace Corp stint for 4 years, and I've lived in some places that the word 'hell' fits perfectly. I am well aware that life is a gift. But in my old age, I really could care less. I was never coddled nor given a break in life. Everything I acheieved, I did it through hard work and sacrifice. Nothing on this worlds for free.

Neither you nor anyone else will be able to change my mind concerning my world view. I seriously believe that if you could walk in my shoes...you'd be dead by now.

River

Fair 'nuff. I didn't read all those posts. I did focus more on yours that's true. I'm sorry you've had it hard in your younger years as have many. I too have lived in under privilidged countries where I've had to see my friends I was growing up with have to fight for breakfast off a rubbsih heap. My reaction though has gone contrary to you I guess. But if you did your stint in the Peace Corp then you must have had a very different outlook to have done so, at least a different one to your current attitude which would appear to be more a symptom to a present malaise.

I don't have any wish to change your mind or anyone elses, I merely voiced mine. I don't know your circumstances to any full extent so I cannot say wether I'd be dead in your shoes or not. And I'm afraid I'm not going to enter into a comparison of what ugly things we may or may not have seen in our lives.

As it stands you and I are very much divided over this one.

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

TWOSHELLS

Sunday, June 11, 2006 10:09 PM

I get introspective and remember, then I move on. I don't feel it necessary to wallow in depression over it, its the memory that counts.

RIVER6213

Sunday, June 11, 2006 10:23 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
Originally posted by RiveR6213:

Quote:
I'm the only one here who believes that it's uncool to mourn the dead. If you read through all the posts you will find a lot of opposition to my devil-may-care beliefs regarding mourning. And you will be delightfully surprised to find that most here agree with you.

I've had it pretty hard in my younger years, and I have been to other countries during my Peace Corp stint for 4 years, and I've lived in some places that the word 'hell' fits perfectly. I am well aware that life is a gift. But in my old age, I really could care less. I was never coddled nor given a break in life. Everything I acheieved, I did it through hard work and sacrifice. Nothing on this worlds for free.

Neither you nor anyone else will be able to change my mind concerning my world view. I seriously believe that if you could walk in my shoes...you'd be dead by now.

River

Fair 'nuff. I didn't read all those posts. I did focus more on yours that's true. I'm sorry you've had it hard in your younger years as have many. I too have lived in under privilidged countries where I've had to see my friends I was growing up with have to fight for breakfast off a rubbsih heap. My reaction though has gone contrary to you I guess. But if you did your stint in the Peace Corp then you must have had a very different outlook to have done so, at least a different one to your current attitude which would appear to be more a symptom to a present malaise.

I don't have any wish to change your mind or anyone elses, I merely voiced mine. I don't know your circumstances to any full extent so I cannot say wether I'd be dead in your shoes or not. And I'm afraid I'm not going to enter into a comparison of what ugly things we may or may not have seen in our lives.

As it stands you and I are very much divided over this one.

The
Somnambulist

I too have no intention in engaging in a 'who's the biggest gorilla in the park' Argument, but I want to clear something up with you. One would think that a person who lived and worked in other parts of the world would have a very forgiving outlook on life. My attitude during the peace corp. was one of a person who wanted to help where she could, and I was very determined to do so which I did. My personality at the time was what one could call a normal one. Happy, balanced, nurturing etc. I was very social, and had little stomach for people who couldn’t or wouldn’t accept the gifts that life gave them.

Then I quit the Peace Corp and got all ambitious, and after a hair raising 10 years I was in charge of my own company which has splinter into 12 facilities. I make great money, but in the process of all of that, I think I lost a certain amount of humanity along the way. Added to all the fun experiences I’ve had in the last 7 years, the end result is an apathetical bitch that could care less if people live or die. Isolation is my only friend, and humans are expendable.

I think this is a good explanation. I covered all the bases. Anyway, I thought I would give you a little bit more information. Now enough of me and back to the thread.

River

JTSKIER1200R

Sunday, June 11, 2006 10:27 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by RiveR6213:
Quote:
Originally posted by jtskier1200r:
I hope nobody is offended by this, but I have noticed that not many have posted anything religious here - so here goes.

River: I cried when I read your posts, not out of pity, but out of sadness for the emotions I feel in you - it seems in you there is only (I use that word carefully, not demeaningly) fear and hopelessness. I hope that is not the case.

I believe every human, even the one who dies while you eat a sandwich, is worthy of crying for. Death is worth crying over, for it is not how the world is supposed to be. Death is an evil, something which brings pain and suffering.

Thank you for taking an interest in this thread.

There's no fear, nor hopelessness here in my life. I'm as safe as a bug in a rug. happiness doesnt always have to have other people guest-starring in it. Why is it that a person who is alone and isolated always percieved as unhappy, hopeless, and full of fear?

My life is great and I have all the things I need in it. If I can manage to keep myself away from people...everything should be fine, but if I up and decide I need to hangout with other people...oh well, I only am asking for trouble and will get what I deserve; I always do.

Death is not an evil. it is something that's been around for as long as life has. Can you imagine what this world would look like if nothing died? Be pretty over crowded I suspect.

Sorry aboout the eating the sandwich and watching someone die line. I reread that later on and thought that it sounded rather ghoulish.

Anyway, your way of hadling death is just as interesting as everyone else here who posted, so you didnt offend anyone. And as far as your religious leanings, been there, done that. Interesting, but I'm too willful for that, but other people find that its a great source of strength and stability for themselves, which is a good thing. We all need a foundation.

You sound like you are a very feeling person...this is a good thing for you. keep it up.

River

I dont know how to do the fancy quote stuff, so here is my thoughts in a very bad format:

- The reason I thought I felt fear in you is because I thought it is what motivates you to not get into relationships. I understand that you dont fear death anymore for it cant touch you, but I thought you felt the pain of death, which is what causes you to live your life in such a way that it isnt there. It seemed to me like you were living your live based out of this fear, and therefore shut yourself up because of it. Im glad to hear I was wrong.

- I heard helplessness and sadness becuase of the talk of suicide and the general tone of your posts Also, I have a hard time imagining how I could find joy without a God and without people with whom to share my life. My wife is gone for the weekend, and I already am starting to get lonely... :)

- One question, what did you mean when you said you were too "willful" for religion? Just curious.

THESOMNAMBULIST

Sunday, June 11, 2006 10:43 PM

Originally posted by RiveR6213:

Quote:
I too have no intention in engaging in a 'who's the biggest gorilla in the park' Argument, but I want to clear something up with you. One would think that a person who lived and worked in other parts of the world would have a very forgiving outlook on life. My attitude during the peace corp. was one of a person who wanted to help where she could, and I was very determined to do so which I did. My personality at the time was what one could call a normal one. Happy, balanced, nurturing etc. I was very social, and had little stomach for people who couldn’t or wouldn’t accept the gifts that life gave them.

Then I quit the Peace Corp and got all ambitious, and after a hair raising 10 years I was in charge of my own company which has splinter into 12 facilities. I make great money, but in the process of all of that, I think I lost a certain amount of humanity along the way. Added to all the fun experiences I’ve had in the last 7 years, the end result is an apathetical bitch that could care less if people live or die. Isolation is my only friend, and humans are expendable.

I think this is a good explanation. I covered all the bases. Anyway, I thought I would give you a little bit more information. Now enough of me and back to the thread.

River

Well, my question to you now though is, do you not think your past feelings/outlook on life/death could return or perhaps be more evenly balanced. Y'know less of two extremes?

I only ask because your present time, as with your past time, is but a moment, a fraction of life, therefore do you not think that drawing a conclusion on life perceiveing it merely from the 'moment' point of view as somewhat limiting?

I mean I've had my moments where I've wanted nothing to do with anyone! (except my Dog he's the best) and it's left me thinking to hell with 'em all.

But and this thread kinda proves it - I always end up caring.

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

RIVER6213

Sunday, June 11, 2006 11:12 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by jtskier1200r:
Quote:
Originally posted by RiveR6213:
Quote:
Originally posted by jtskier1200r:
I hope nobody is offended by this, but I have noticed that not many have posted anything religious here - so here goes.

River: I cried when I read your posts, not out of pity, but out of sadness for the emotions I feel in you - it seems in you there is only (I use that word carefully, not demeaningly) fear and hopelessness. I hope that is not the case.

I believe every human, even the one who dies while you eat a sandwich, is worthy of crying for. Death is worth crying over, for it is not how the world is supposed to be. Death is an evil, isomething which brings pain and suffering.

Thank you for taking an interest in this thread.

There's no fear, nor hopelessness here in my life. I'm as safe as a bug in a rug. happiness doesnt always have to have other people guest-starring in it. Why is it that a person who is alone and isolated always percieved as unhappy, hopeless, and full of fear?

My life is great and I have all the things I need in it. If I can manage to keep myself away from people...everything should be fine, but if I up and decide I need to hangout with other people...oh well, I only am asking for trouble and will get what I deserve; I always do.

Death is not an evil. it is something that's been around for as long as life has. Can you imagine what this world would look like if nothing died? Be pretty over crowded I suspect.

Sorry aboout the eating the sandwich and watching someone die line. I reread that later on and thought that it sounded rather ghoulish.

Anyway, your way of hadling death is just as interesting as everyone else here who posted, so you didnt offend anyone. And as far as your religious leanings, been there, done that. Interesting, but I'm too willful for that, but other people find that its a great source of strength and stability for themselves, which is a good thing. We all need a foundation.

You sound like you are a very feeling person...this is a good thing for you. keep it up.

River

I dont know how to do the fancy quote stuff, so here is my thoughts in a very bad format:

- The reason I thought I felt fear in you is because I thought it is what motivates you to not get into relationships. I understand that you dont fear death anymore for it cant touch you, but I thought you felt the pain of death, which is what causes you to live your life in such a way that it isnt there. It seemed to me like you were living your live based out of this fear, and therefore shut yourself up because of it. Im glad to hear I was wrong.

- I heard helplessness and sadness becuase of the talk of suicide and the general tone of your posts Also, I have a hard time imagining how I could find joy without a God and without people with whom to share my life. My wife is gone for the weekend, and I already am starting to get lonely... :)

- One question, what did you mean when you said you were too "willful" for religion? Just curious.

What I mean by "willful" is I like doing what I want to do, and half those things I like to do go against god. God wants all of us to be doing his will 24/7 and that gets boring real fast with a person like me. Just call me a total selfish person.

We have to put other people 1st before ourselves. Well, I say forget that.

We have to love our enemies. I say call in an airstrike on our enemies.

We have to forgive other people because we arent perfect. I say nuke the bastards, and launch a 2nd nuke at them just to make sure.

I'm too mean, too selfish and too egocentric to be a child of god. I went forth and found this out about myself this year. I can't ignore my true nature.

Oh well, life used to be so simple, but times change. Hope I anwsered your questions. Now back to the topic at hand.

River

CHRISTHECYNIC

Sunday, June 11, 2006 11:57 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by RiveR6213:
it doesnt stop you from having your own experience, so stay on topic people and leave the psych 101 at the door.

Unless you want everyone to say, "I deal with death by dying," how they deal with other people with respect to death is on topic, the topic you created.

The psych 101 is part of how they handle death, and how they handle death is pretty fucking on topic.

(The, "fucking," was for emphasis only.)

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