How Do You handle Death?

POSTED BY: RiveR6213
UPDATED: Sunday, January 18, 2009 19:09
VIEWED: 23778
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RIVER6213

Sunday, June 11, 2006 5:30 AM

I don't know what all the drama's about regarding death. I've lost friends through suicide and natural causes. I've watched my friends go through the death of their parents and let me tell you; they were all over the place grieving, and getting all deep with thoughts and stuff. I'll never understand it.

Death for me means that this stupid madness called life is over, but some people take it in different ways. So, are you the type that goes completely to pieces when death comes a calling, or are you the cool, collect type that understands the cycle of this stupid life and realize that life equals loss?

River

SINGATE

Sunday, June 11, 2006 5:37 AM

Personally I'd try putting Death in a full nelson until he, or she, cried uncle.

We all die, so what's the point in getting bent out of shape over it?

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We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

RIVER6213

Sunday, June 11, 2006 5:40 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by singate:
Personally I'd try putting Death in a full nelson until he, or she, cried uncle.

We all die, so what's the point in getting bent out of shape over it?

_________________________________________________

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

Good for you. That's how I see it also. Tag 'em and bag 'em I say.

River

SASSALICIOUS

Sunday, June 11, 2006 5:46 AM

I fall somewhere in the middle . . . I'm one of those people who keeps a lot inside and only privately acknowledges the pain. For instance, when my grandpa died last year (a few days before Thanksgiving), I cried in my room a few times and cried at the funeral, but kept it together for the rest of the world and when I called my dad to tell him and when I mentioned it to Dad's side of the family at Thanksgiving. After a couple of weeks, I'd accepted it and moved on.

I think the one that sticks with me the most though, is my best friend's two attempted suicides, especially since I was on the phone with her during the second one. She didn't die, but it took awhile to get over.

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I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"
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EMBERS

Sunday, June 11, 2006 5:53 AM

I've seen a lot of death too, which has made me pretty accepting of it. I think it is harder for people the first time they come face to face with the loss of someone they love, which leads to the need for some sense to be made of it.

I can understand and respect those who feel the need

but I've become pretty fatalistic my own self.

edited to add: I guess I've missed the threads where the men around here have been all judging and/or easily shocked...
seems to me we have mostly guys who are pretty accepting and open to the Wonder Women and/or Rivers in their lives.
(of course I avoid the RL threads)

RIVER6213

Sunday, June 11, 2006 6:13 AM

I will never understand why so many people make such a noise about death. I guess it comes out of the relationships that we form in our lives. The closer you are with people, the harder it is to take when they die on you. My goal is simple. Make no more friends, and death isnt an issue.

I'm so glad that my parents died early. I don't have to deal with their problems, and my friends...I got rid of the remaining few a while ago, and the others died from suicide or natural causes. I am so complete, so free of the human, bonding equation.

Later on in life, I will remember this board where I suddenly, for a year, dumped my whole life out to complete strangers in a mood swinging sort of way. You people have seen me through all kinds of stupid drama that the people I currently associate with have not a clue. This is very interesting.

I guess i really don't care about humans. The human race can kiss my ass.

River

MONKSDAD

Sunday, June 11, 2006 7:17 AM

Dealing with death sucks, as human beings it is the worst thing we have to deal with. Losing someone close is , is, I cant describe it. but we move on, we have to or we ourselves will die. and that defeats the whole point now doesnt it, stay alive and look for better da¥s.

on these boards i dont even think of anyone as male or female. we are all just browncoats.

"And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community."

TUFTYFELLA

Sunday, June 11, 2006 10:33 AM

the way i see it is the day we are born we begin to die. what matters is what we do inbetween the two.

no point crying over it imo, its a part of life.

i dont believe in god or any of that crap (no offence u believers) but i cant wait to find out what happens after death... not that i want to die any time soon to find out that is...

ZOID

Sunday, June 11, 2006 10:40 AM

I discovered my maternal grandfather's body, with a ragged black hole in its (notice I didn't say 'his') chest cavity, following his 'gun cleaning' accident. I was six years old.

The drummer in my first band died in a car accident when I was about 20-ish. He was a habitual drinker (as were we all to some lesser extent), and had been drinking before the accident. We were returning from a weekend 'gig' (never liked that word) in Galveston on Highway 6, a 60 mph 2-lane. The official report was that he'd had a front tire blow-out in his TransAm (damned 'direct rack-and-pinion steering') and struck an El Camino head-on at highway speed. The other driver was uninjured. My friend's head was crushed by his drum kit, which he had stowed in the back seat. It rained for three days through his closed casket funeral, at which we his bandmates served as pall bearers. His widowed mother was inconsolable at the loss of her only son.

My paternal grandfather passed away when I was mid-way through Basic Training. He was the person to whom I most closely related in this world. He had an absolutely wicked sense of humor, but was gentle and loving. In his earlier life, he was reputed to be "as mean as a snake", mostly when he was drinking. I never saw that side of him. He was a temperate and lovely soul.

My father died in May of 2001, of inoperable lung cancer. My father's life was a tapestry of errors, misjudgments, immoderate behavior, alcoholism and sometimes, rotten luck. He truly struggled against Life itself, and was genuinely unhappy as a result. He never learned to just float on the current, like an inner tube ride on some lazy scenic river, gazing at passersby and the intricate beauty of Nature around him. He tried to swim upstream against that indolent current, and was slowly drowned for his pains. I drove across three states with my two (still living at home) children to see him, in the last week of his life. Cancer had diminished him physically, but not spiritually. He played with his grandchildren and took great joy in doing so, playing piano and trundling through the neighborhood in his powered wheelchair (with breathing apparatus). We left the next day, and other grandchildren came to visit and pay last respects over the next couple of days. He died on that Sunday. He donated his body to UT Medical Branch.

+++++++++++

When my 'grandaddy' died, I was in a car with my mother, an aunt, and his ex-wife, my grandmother. We were driving to supper when suddenly all three women looked at each other and my Grandmother said, "Harold is dead." They turned the car around and drove to his house, but he was already gone, with a hole like a doorway in his airless chest.

When Grandpa died (of cancer), they offered to let me go home for his funeral. Even though I was nearly 28 years old, I had been crying a lot over his loss (in seclusion). It hit me pretty hard since, as I said, he was the one human being I truly admired. I declined. I told them that I knew he would want me to finish what I had started.

When my father died, I felt saddened for the things we had never been -- could never be -- for one another; but I also felt a great wash of relief. God had made him what he was, and what he was had made his life a living hell. Who would not feel joy that such a life was through? As Jesus and the Operative said, "It is finished". But even though he had been given a heavy cup to bear, my father never gave up, never threw in the towel. In his last twenty years, he finally gave up drinking, though his uncontrollable temper and pathological jealousy still spoiled any human relationship he tried to foster. He was a thoroughly flawed man, and I respect him all the more for putting up with that lousy hand of cards without looking to take the easy way out. His life is an object lesson in courage that is not lost on me.

I do not grieve for the dead. Those are just bodies, the shells that used to hold their souls. I saw that with my own eyes at the age of 6. But I feel the

FROMTHEDARK

Sunday, June 11, 2006 12:56 PM

I dont grieve so much any more, i get the whole we are born most of us live then we die but yeah i spill a few tears for the dead only coz i know im not going to see them for a while but then there is nothing.
But i must admit when only a few months ago six teens around my age were wiped out when a car ran into them i was taken back for a bit longer then when i lose people whom i love.

But RiveR213 i agree humans suck i have more compassion for animals than anything else.

If at first you dont succeed, you wont be skydiving again

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