Male and Female Imponderables-Resurrected

POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Thursday, June 8, 2006 20:33
VIEWED: 21914
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PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 4:03 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by nuclearday:
LOL. I apologize if I my post came off the wrong way, PR. :P Really, I have no trouble at all with anyone's sexual orientation regardless of who they are or what they're into. I've never dated a bisexual girl (haven't really dated all that much anyways, come to think of it.) But I've always got a kick out of my friends that were lesbian/gay/bi. In all seriousness, I don't see that I'd have a problem dating someone that was bi. If it's a healthy relatioship, I don't see how it even would factor in that much. (Other than maybe we'd catch each other checking out the same people :)

About sex without love. Well... I'm a bit more old-fashioned. But not terribly so, I suppose. I feel more comfortable at least waiting awhile in a relationship before getting into that. Getting maybe a tad personal: the little mister doesn't always function too well with someone I'm not comfortable with. Performance anxiety or whatever. There was a couple very drunken nights back in college, though...

Not into one-night stands though. For me, the first time I have sex with someone is always a little awkward. You don't know what the other person likes, etc.

________________________________________________
You can take my Browncoat when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)

I'm sorry I got snappy; wasn't in a very good mood. You're very right, too; it isn't a factor if the relationship is healthy. Cheating never is, no matter what the orientation.

No, I haven't ever had sex with someone I didn't love. I've in fact only had sex with one person; my much whined-about ex. This is part of what hurt so much when he left me. After dating random stupid boys for a few years I had finally found someone I loved and trusted enough to actually... Anyway. Stopping now before I think about it too much.

When you don't know what someone likes, it can be awkward, but it can also be fun! I love learning the little hot buttons. It takes a lot of exploration, but that's part of why it's so fun.

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KANEMAN

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 4:04 AM

OOOps wrong thread.........

DTUCK

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 4:17 AM

I've been wondering this for a while, and this seems a good place to ask: How do people feel about seeing more than one person at a time?

I don't mean in the 'threesome' sense, but rather, going out with one person one day, then the next, going out with you. Seperate lives. 'Playing the field', my grandfather jokingly referred to it as.

I don't think I could do this, but my ex-girlfriend apparently thought she could. Without telling me. Fun.

__________________________________

The best way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. - Oscar Wilde

PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 4:25 AM

I've never dated more than one person at a time. Even when I was "playing the field" so to speak -which to me just means "looking" - I would always stop dating the fist person before moving on to the next thing. Even this didn't last long. If I'm seeing someone, I feel I owe it to them to both give them a chance and be honest. If it isn't working, it isn't working and I'll tell them so. If it is, why would I be seeing other people?
If you have a mutual agreement, or aren't sure you're "serious" yet, it can be okay, but it must be a mutual agreement.
DTuck, I'm very sorry. That is not shiny.

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KANEMAN

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 4:43 AM

If someone is just going out for dinner and on dates with different people that's alright. well, as long as they are honest with everyone involved. If things get serious with both at the same time and everyone knows I guess its still okay....but, for the mental welfare of us guys who can't pull that off, they should be courteous enough to move to Utah

SAMEERTIA

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 5:03 AM

Whoa. NOt telling is not honesty! NOT COOL!

I'm poly. (Okay...I identify as poly, but I've been on like.. three dates outside of my primary relationship in almost three years, plus a long term internet based relationship.) Kinda lame, even for me.

But here's how I see it. Why should I limit myself in the amount of love that I can recieve? Manitou is my primary partner, I love him completely, but there are many interests we don't share, many things we don't enjoy doing together, and for most of our relationship, we haven't been very sexually compatible. (Although that's changed markedly over the past year.)

We are also 300 miles apart.

So we both take other lovers. We communicate openly and honestly about who we're going out with, when we're going out, etc. When it's possible, we meet each others partners, and get to know each other.

To both of us, when one of us starts dating someone new, it's a priority to keep the 'new' people involved and safe, as well. Honesty HAS to be maintained.

I prefer to create a family of friends, who I may also have deeper relationships with, than meaningless, run-through sexual relationships.

In fact, I'm currently hoping to find a great girl who's compatible with both Manitou and I, to have a long term, threesomey-happy-family sort of thing with. *sigh*

Wouldn't hurt if she looked like Angelina Jolie, but that's probably a bit much to ask for.

PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 5:09 AM

Sounds like you really have it down, SameErtia. I've always thought it would take some very special people to be bale to do that with. I'd like to try a three-way relationship someday, but it's never happened for me, y'know, organically. My last bf heard me say something about it and started kinda pushing the idea. We never found a girl we both really liked, so it didn't happen. I totally get where you're coming from, though.

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TRISTAN

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 1:25 PM

Morning, all! I'll try to get caught up quickly...I don't think I missed too much.

Dating more than one person at a time: doesn't work out all that well. I am a guilty party, but please take into consideration that it happened my first year in college. I thought I could get away with it, and it blew up in my face. One of them was a serious girlfriend, the other was for fun (her idea about hooking up, but I was not going to argue). In the end, I am still friends with the hook-up, but have not talked to the original girlfriend...and it's been 17 years.

DTuck, I am sorry it happened to you...like SameErita said, that is NOT shiny!

By the way, SameErita, I like the fact that your arrangement is working out as well as it is. Good luck on finding a compatible third!

I'm going to harp on the sex question a little longer...hopefully to clear up some stuff for myself (by typing it out) and others (by reading). Unfortunately it seems that whenever a girl mentions being bi- or curious, the first thing a male does is think "score!" and then do his damndest to make it happen. Not for her benfit; for his. I won't lie and say I would turn down the chance IF INVITED, but I would not push the issue. If my partner wants to explore this part of her psyche, I am going to stay out of the way...but refer to my earlier posts for my thoughts on that. I guess what I am trying to say is it may be difficult to find a male comfortable enough to let this happen. I have discovered that most of the males on this board share my thoughts regarding many issues, and that we seem to be a minority of the male race. Does that seem right to you?
Alright, enough from me.
Where were we?

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MSG

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 2:10 PM

Hey my husband is a guy I knew in college, but we never dated or anything. Then on day he showed up at my work, "Looking for something" and Long story short we ended up married... so no it's not creepy to go to his work long as you have a nice "reason" for going there. Go for it

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

MSG

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 2:15 PM

Hey Kaneman- I live in Utah_ don't send us all the jerks...I swear there aren't that many polygamists. Mostly just a bunch of very very very old fashioned people who don't ever drink, smoke, or have sex with anyone not their spouse...they're a bit repressed and weird, but kinda cute in a keep your distance you little freaks way.

As you can tell ( not mormon)

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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