Male and Female Imponderables-Resurrected

POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Thursday, June 8, 2006 20:33
VIEWED: 21914
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TRISTAN

Monday, June 5, 2006 12:58 PM

Morning, all.
Cybersex...nope, prefer the real thing.

PR, depends on the level of "like". I have dated women that are curious, but have never been with a woman, and I have dated one or two that have been with another woman. It does not bother me at all...but it would if I became a second fiddle. I would rather not be the male version of a beard for a woman, ya know? Other than that, I have no problems. I would not even ask to join in...but I might want to be there
Seriously, I am open-minded when it comes to things like that. As a male, I would rather my partner be with another female than with another male.

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ZAMIAM

Monday, June 5, 2006 2:12 PM

I wanna play!

I've never had cybersex, but I have had phone sex a few times during a somewhat long distance point of my current relationship. I didn't find it cheezy, or dirty, and it really helped us shy folk be more open around eachother. Basically, for me, it was surprisingly non-weird.

I've never really internet dated, but I agree that it's a lot easier to sort out words and thoughts typing than speaking.

But once again, my current relationship really got it's start on the phone. I met him during a weekend I was at home from college, and over the next two months we talked on the phone nearly every night, sometimes for hours. The experience was completely new for me, but I would have never gotten to know him any other way because of our mutual shyness. But then on the occasional weekend I made it back home, we were incredibly awkward around eachother. We got over it.

What do you folks think of dating people very close to your own personality type?

In my (few) previous relationships, I ended up with the outgoing, confident type because of my unwillingness to approach people. Introverted me plus extraverted them, we fit like puzzle pieces in a lot of respects. This time around I met a guy who is more similar to me. He's shy, he'd prefer to take the submissive role in a relationship, and he is painfully neurotic and worries constantly that he has said or done the wrong thing. In those ways we are carbon copies, and while it is nice to have someone who understands those things about me, we seem to spend an awful lot of time sorting things out so that no one has hurt feelings or the wrong idea about anything, and sometimes I feel a little lost without a dominant partner.

Similar experiences anyone?

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I am a leaf on the wind.

SHEPHERD2BE

Monday, June 5, 2006 3:03 PM

Another day at work is just more time to post with a free net connection.

Cybersex, only as a joke or if I had to take a job in antarctica.

Internet dating? Not a fan. It's the island of misfit toys out there and no one want's a charlie in the box. Had a few ok dinners, a few scary candidates. Who do I end up going out with? My ex-neighbors ex, who saw me on line.

PRose-
I have no problem dating a woman who is interested in women. It just means we have more in common.

It would be something I would like to know rather early in the relationship ( 3rd or 4th outing ) and be told privately. I have been a witness to when the girlfriend asks in front of his friends, "You know I've dated more women than men, right?" Kind of cut his legs out from under him.

I would also have to reserve the right to ask stupid male questions about her previous relationships. She would, of course, have the right to not answer them.

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"Thought the collar gave it away"

TRISTAN

Monday, June 5, 2006 3:07 PM

Dating your own personality type...that's kind of a scary concept!
I used to date women with whom I shared at least some likes and dislikes. My wife is an outgoing person who likes to socialize. I, on the other hand, would rather stay home and work on projects, or maybe hang out with a few close friends. Beyond that, she and I share alot of the same outlooks on life, with just enough differences to maintain the "whoah!" factor. I would hate to have to date someone just like me...would be very trying and would get boring after awhile.

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PHOENIXROSE

Monday, June 5, 2006 3:16 PM

I tend to like people who are at least similar to my personality type for some reason. Not exactly the same, but if someone is, say, a worrier then they understand when I worry. I can basically be dominant or submissive, and I in fact kinda like trading off, so finding that in someone else is nice. It's also difficult. I also like dating people who are at least bi-curious, because all the men who weren't assumed that my attraction to women meant that I would leave them for a woman. They really didn't get it. (Oh and yes, I always told them before we even started dating. Didn't make them uncomfortable until about a month into the relationship.) I also have to say I really prefer dating people with similar outlooks, particularly on polotics and theology. Those two things have caused more headaches for me than anything. I know that's not really a "personality" thing, but in a way it is! In sum; exactly alike would probably be bad, similarities are good.

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MERCURY002

Monday, June 5, 2006 3:22 PM

ah ive missed 3 days of talk oh well

Simon:"If the battle was so horrible, why did he name the ship after it?"
Zoe:"Once you've been in serenity you never leave"

MAL4PREZ

Monday, June 5, 2006 3:47 PM

woo-hoo! Lots of goodies to catch up on.

Cybersex - Not for me. I kind of like having a warm body (um, I mean besides mine.)

Meeting over the net - I just tried carrying on some conversation with a guy a friend had hooked me up with (I've never met him in person) It fizzled out. I have a hard time because I really need to be with a person to see how they react, how they say things. Or else I don't feel I've gotten to know them.

Liking a woman who likes women? Only way it would work for me, if I tended that way. OK, then how about liking a man who likes another man? Huh. I don't think I'd be so thrilled. I'd want him to be saving it for me, you know?

Dating someone like me? There are definite similarities required, and some absolutely not. My last BF was on the introverted and anti-social side, and we really brought that out in eachother.

Zamiam - that sounds a lot like your situation. It really didn't work for me! I feel like the things to have in common are the good traits, not the negative ones. Unless you're both aware of it and trying to not drag each other down.

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

NUCLEARDAY

Monday, June 5, 2006 3:48 PM

I can go either way as far as personality types are concerned. Never been terribly succesful either way, so... :P Once dated a fiery red-head that was the complete opposite of me: she was impulsive, out-going, energetic. I just wanted to sit around at home and watch TV :)

Didn't work out in the long run, though. That was too much difference, it seemed. I was holding her back in alot of ways and she kept trying to push me out of my comfort zone. Was quite alot of fun while it lasted, though.

Now that I've got some more experience under my belt, I prefer someone that complements my personality a bit more. My current g/f is alot more outgoing and adventurous than me, but not so much that we're constantly at odds. Just enough to get me to actually go outside every once in awhile. (Plus she's a total geek, so we have that in common at least :)

@Dating women with bi-tendencies. Personally, I think that's kind of hot. I'll go with Tristan on this one, I think. So long as we're not getting into cheating territory it's all good. (And who knows, I might be up to a good old-fashioned three-some, I suppose :)

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You can take my Browncoat when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (Or if Kaylee asks me nicely...)

PHOENIXROSE

Monday, June 5, 2006 4:07 PM

Huh...
Maybe part of my last bf's problem was that he got tired of me veto-ing a threesome?
FYI to anyone who isn't bi:
IT DOESN'T MEAN WE WANT A THREESOME.
IT DOESN'T MEAN WE ARE BORED.
IT DOESN'T MEAN WE ARE FICKLE.
IT DOESN'T MEAN WE WILL CHEAT.
AND IT DOESN'T MEAN WE AREN'T SATISFIED.

Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Ya'll are shiny. I just... get really defensive about it sometimes.
So all it means to me is that I might look at women. If I'm with someone I'm faithful; rarely even get crushes when I'm in a commited relationship. But I do appreciate beautiful people of either sex. That is all. There isn't a threat, and there isn't much possibility of a threesome or a relationship on the side. I'm not saying it's impossible, it just hasn't appealed to me in reality. Ever.
Sorry. I'm done ranting now.

You know, it's actually funny; I developed a huge crush on Summer about a week after I was dumped. Until then she hadn't had that effect on me.

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TRISTAN

Monday, June 5, 2006 4:17 PM

I understand, PR. No, I am not bi-, nor have I ever had leanings that way, but I do understand. My statement was a joke. I am not getting defensive, just trying to point out that those of us who are exclusively hetero- do get you. I do not want to join in, I do not want to watch, nor do I want the details. All I would want is the truth of the matter; if it ends up she likes being with the woman more than with me, then I will bail. I am all for exploring human interactions, and would not step in anyone's way of doing so. However, from a hetero- standpoint, I would rather my partner no experiment with a member of the opposite sex. I would view that as cheating, and the relationship would end. With a member of the same sex...I have no problem, as long as that relationship does not come before ours.
I hope that clarifies the hetero- view.

By the way, am I the only hetero- posting in here?

May not be, but there are times when it seems that way...

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