The Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes Failure Thread

POSTED BY: 6ixStringJack
UPDATED: Tuesday, July 16, 2024 10:38
VIEWED: 5093
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6IXSTRINGJACK

Tuesday, May 14, 2024 12:23 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by second:
Quote:
Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:
Uggghhh...

I can't look at lists like that. If you have a list of 20 of the worst movies of all time, put them all on one page and don't make me click link after link after link to view all of them.

I know why they do it, because it makes them look like they have 20 times more traffic on paper, but I'm not going to play their game.
Are you missing the point that Hollywood has always, starting with silent movies, produced crap?

Yeah. I get the point, dude.

Nothing you're saying here is profound or really even arguable.

--------------------------------------------------

Trump will be fine.
He will also be your next President.

SECOND

Tuesday, May 14, 2024 5:04 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:

Yeah. I get the point, dude.

Nothing you're saying here is profound or really even arguable.

Are you sure you get it? If you did, you'd stop wasting time estimating profit/loss/critiquing movies that are designed to be wastes of time created to make you poorer and dumber, like any addictive substance.

Hollywood searches for novelty, yet familiarity, to bring in a crowd. So it tries to create predictable franchises, such as Planet of the Apes, but also adds novelty by making the Apes appear to be really talking, not humans disguised as apes, and really being heroic at saving the world, not just Apes goofing around.

Here is another movie combining the familiar (demonic possession. Hollywood has done this thousands of times) with novelty (make it a comedy). It is a dark comedy from Hollywood that will set the box office on fire, by which I mean it will stink or make a vast fortune. Nobody knows which until too late.

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/willie-aames-natal
ie-grace-armageddon-road-1235895701/

Set in Las Vegas in 1976, Armageddon Road follows a hapless ex-con hired by a mob boss to chauffeur his girlfriend for an evening, only to find his passenger dies of a cocaine overdose.

After her body is taken over by one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the driver is convinced to take her to what will be Armageddon in the Nevada desert. Opiate Pictures Inc. and Black Moon Media are producing the film that will use miniature sets created by Gary Young (Monarch: Legacy of Monsters, The Predator and Godzilla) to be projected on an LED volume wall the actors will use as a backdrop for their performances.

The desired effect is creating an imaginary world grounded in hyper-reality. "This film combines traditional filmmaking techniques with cutting edge technology, much like the story itself. This is 1976, but seen through a 2024 lens," says Lam in a statement.

Read that last sentence again: This film combines traditional filmmaking techniques with cutting-edge technology, much like the story itself. Hollywood is promising novelty for this film, more than another in a tired old line of thousands of demonic possession films. Hollywood also promises novelty in the most recent Planet of the Apes, but this is the 10th movie in a series, not counting the 14 TV show episodes.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071033/episodes/?season=1&ref_=tt_ep
s_sn_1

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at https://www.mediafire.com/two

6IXSTRINGJACK

Tuesday, May 14, 2024 6:35 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by second:
Quote:
Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:

Yeah. I get the point, dude.

Nothing you're saying here is profound or really even arguable.
Are you sure you get it? If you did, you'd stop wasting time estimating profit/loss/critiquing movies that are designed to be wastes of time created to make you poorer and dumber, like any addictive substance.

And I'm sure you're just itching to give away that drug for free as soon as people smarter than you upload it to yts.

Hollywood isn't suffering now from the normal glut of bad movies. They're suffering because they forced your woke agenda into them for the last 10 years and nobody will pay to see it anymore. None of this is helped by the fact that the people you voted for wrecked the economy and nobody is going to choose to pay to see even a good movie if it means that they're not eating one day this week.

Yeah... They make a lot of crap. They're also capable of creating wonderful things. And just because you don't like Hollywood now and stopped defending it because your Legacy Media Masters told you to in 2024, it doesn't mean that Hollywood is not important.

What's been happening to Hollywood is a great barometer of the winds of change blowing. Your time is finished. Democrats and Joe* Biden destroyed everything in the 2020s. It will be interesting to see how things get rebuilt now that all of the Democrat nonsense has fallen sharply out of vogue.

--------------------------------------------------

Trump will be fine.
He will also be your next President.

SECOND

Tuesday, May 14, 2024 7:34 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:
Quote:
Originally posted by second:
Quote:
Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:

Yeah. I get the point, dude.

Nothing you're saying here is profound or really even arguable.
Are you sure you get it? If you did, you'd stop wasting time estimating profit/loss/critiquing movies that are designed to be wastes of time created to make you poorer and dumber, like any addictive substance.

And I'm sure you're just itching to give away that drug for free as soon as people smarter than you upload it to yts.

Hollywood isn't suffering now from the normal glut of bad movies. They're suffering because they forced your woke agenda into them for the last 10 years and nobody will pay to see it anymore. None of this is helped by the fact that the people you voted for wrecked the economy and nobody is going to choose to pay to see even a good movie if it means that they're not eating one day this week.

Yeah... They make a lot of crap. They're also capable of creating wonderful things. And just because you don't like Hollywood now and stopped defending it because your Legacy Media Masters told you to in 2024, it doesn't mean that Hollywood is not important.

What's been happening to Hollywood is a great barometer of the winds of change blowing. Your time is finished. Democrats and Joe* Biden destroyed everything in the 2020s. It will be interesting to see how things get rebuilt now that all of the Democrat nonsense has fallen sharply out of vogue.

--------------------------------------------------

Trump will be fine.
He will also be your next President.

6ix, you talk exactly the same as all the Trumptards I know. Could it be that Trump has infected you? Because he talks the same way. What are you gonna do if Trump loses? Keep spreading Trump's infected talking points that he did not lose? That he will be back in 2028 running for President?

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at https://www.mediafire.com/two

WHOZIT

Tuesday, May 14, 2024 11:50 PM

Before covid the studios would release a bunch of low budget rom-coms and lite comedies in late winter and early spring knowing they'd bomb or if lucky make a few bucks. The sure fire hits were saved for summer and the late year holidays, these would make the big bucks while the crap that lost money early in the year would be forgotten. They'd recoup the money they lost on the crap the released early that year, NOW last year most of the big budget flicks lost money, ALL YEAR! It looks to me that most of the low budget crap is going straight to streaming while what they hope are block busters are going in theaters.

6IXSTRINGJACK

Wednesday, May 15, 2024 2:10 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by second:
Quote:
Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:
Quote:
Originally posted by second:
Quote:
Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:

Yeah. I get the point, dude.

Nothing you're saying here is profound or really even arguable.
Are you sure you get it? If you did, you'd stop wasting time estimating profit/loss/critiquing movies that are designed to be wastes of time created to make you poorer and dumber, like any addictive substance.

And I'm sure you're just itching to give away that drug for free as soon as people smarter than you upload it to yts.

Hollywood isn't suffering now from the normal glut of bad movies. They're suffering because they forced your woke agenda into them for the last 10 years and nobody will pay to see it anymore. None of this is helped by the fact that the people you voted for wrecked the economy and nobody is going to choose to pay to see even a good movie if it means that they're not eating one day this week.

Yeah... They make a lot of crap. They're also capable of creating wonderful things. And just because you don't like Hollywood now and stopped defending it because your Legacy Media Masters told you to in 2024, it doesn't mean that Hollywood is not important.

What's been happening to Hollywood is a great barometer of the winds of change blowing. Your time is finished. Democrats and Joe* Biden destroyed everything in the 2020s. It will be interesting to see how things get rebuilt now that all of the Democrat nonsense has fallen sharply out of vogue.

--------------------------------------------------

Trump will be fine.
He will also be your next President.
6ix, you talk exactly the same as all the Trumptards I know. Could it be that Trump has infected you? Because he talks the same way. What are you gonna do if Trump loses? Keep spreading Trump's infected talking points that he did not lose? That he will be back in 2028 running for President?

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at https://www.mediafire.com/two

I've heard about 5 sentences that Trump has said since Joe Biden* was inaugurated.

If anybody here is infected by Trump, it's the guy who posts 3 dozen threads about the man every week. It ain't me.

And I see you didn't bother trying to pretend that you can't wait to put the download link to Apes in this thread. You've probably got that tab on yts opened and you're checking it every single day, aren't you?

--------------------------------------------------

Trump will be fine.
He will also be your next President.

6IXSTRINGJACK

Wednesday, May 15, 2024 2:22 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by whozit:
Before covid the studios would release a bunch of low budget rom-coms and lite comedies in late winter and early spring knowing they'd bomb or if lucky make a few bucks. The sure fire hits were saved for summer and the late year holidays, these would make the big bucks while the crap that lost money early in the year would be forgotten. They'd recoup the money they lost on the crap the released early that year, NOW last year most of the big budget flicks lost money, ALL YEAR! It looks to me that most of the low budget crap is going straight to streaming while what they hope are block busters are going in theaters.

Most lost money... but just barely. I still haven't gone back and finalized those numbers from last year, but using the 2.5xRoT, 31 of the Top 100 movies in 2023 did better than breaking even. And only 74 of the movies that were in the Top 100 were made in the US. So a few more than half of the movies lost money. It's possibly even less than that since I straight up used 2.5xRoT for everything, even though in reality any movie that cost under $25 Million and/or was created by a smaller studio like Focus Features probably only needed 2 times the budget to break even.

Universal can't help but lose money in 2024, but they made a ton of it in 2023.

What was really staggering is just how badly all the flops did and how Disney just lost no matter what they tried putting out. They've even had to admit it, it was so bad... And until the live-action Lion King flop comes out this summer, it's already the middle of May and we have yet to see a movie released by Disney.

They'd better be working on those padding movies for the theaters though, if they want to have any theaters to show their movies in when the go back to making them. All that filler and padding is how they keep the lights on and the employees paid.

I'm curious how much of this right now is because stuff is going directly to streaming and how much of it was because there simply wasn't anything in the can after those prolonged writers/actors strikes last year.

2024 is shaping up to be an even worse year for Hollywood than 2023 was, and that's really saying something. They can't afford to keep having nothing worth watching at all in the theaters in 2025.

And nobody can blame Wokeness for Hollywood's problems this year either. AFAIK, only Magical Lodge of Negro Wizards, the Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead remake and an alleged paranormal gay relationship story arc in Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire is the only Woke that's even been put out so far this year. All of them have failed, but so have a lot of movies in 2024 that probably wouldn't have if we had a good economy.

--------------------------------------------------

Trump will be fine.
He will also be your next President.

SECOND

Wednesday, May 15, 2024 5:41 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:

All of them have failed, but so have a lot of movies in 2024 that probably wouldn't have if we had a good economy.

Failure is normal in Hollywood:

Stellar Casts, Bad Returns – 18 Box Office Flops Starring A-List Actors

https://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/news/stellar-casts-bad-returns-18-box
-office-flops-starring-a-list-actors/ss-BB1mmXwE

1 The Men Who Stare at Goats
©Photo Credit: Overture Films.
With George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, and Jeff Bridges leading the ensemble cast, this satirical war comedy failed to resonate with audiences despite its intriguing premise about a secret military unit experimenting with paranormal powers. It has some great comedy moments, so it’s a shame that many overlooked it.

2 Killing Them Softly
©Photo Credit: The Weinstein Company.
Despite featuring Brad Pitt in the lead role, this crime thriller set against the backdrop of the 2008 financial crisis failed to gain traction at the box office due to its dark, edgy tone. It’s a shame; it’s a great movie with incredible performances.

3 Synecdoche, New York
©Photo Credit: Sony Pictures Classics.
Directed by Charlie Kaufman and starring the brilliant Philip Seymour Hoffman, this surreal and existential drama about a theater director’s ambitious project to create a life-size replica of New York City received critical acclaim but just missed the mark. It’s a fantastic movie but possibly a little too clever.

4 The Nines
©Photo Credit: Destination Films.
Starring Deadpool star Ryan Reynolds in multiple roles, this mind-bending indie film about a troubled actor’s surreal journey through three mini-films of alternate realities received praise for its originality but failed to find mainstream success. It was too inconsistent, and we didn’t have the patience for it.

5 We Own the Night
©Photo Credit: Sony Pictures.
Featuring Joaquin Phoenix and Mark Wahlberg as brothers on opposite sides of the law, this crime drama from director James Gray was quipped as being better than The Departed. What went wrong? Poor promotion, we suspect.

6 The Paperboy
©Photo Credit: Millennium Films.
Starring Zac Efron, Nicole Kidman, and Matthew McConaughey, this Southern Gothic thriller just didn’t hit the right notes. Nicole Kidman urinating on Zac Efron was nothing short of gratuitous, and Cannes critics hated it.

7 Inherent Vice
©Photo Credit: Warner Bros.
Joaquin Phoenix makes yet another appearance in this obscure movie directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. It’s a psychedelic neo-noir comedy-drama based on Thomas Pynchon’s novel, but it was a bit too complex to reach a commercial market.

8 The Ice Harvest
©Photo Credit: Focus Features.
With John Cusack and Billy Bob Thornton in the lead roles, this dark, low-budget comedy about a lawyer and a strip club owner’s scheme to embezzle money on Christmas Eve flopped miserably despite its talented cast. However, it did gain a cult following, so it can’t have been that bad.

9 I Heart Huckabees
©Photo Credit: Fox Searchlight Pictures.
This quirky comedy failed to receive the recognition it deserved. Despite having a blockbuster cast and a brilliant premise, it still missed out on the red-carpet treatment. Starring Mark Wahlberg, Dustin Hoffman, and Naomi Watts, it is an intelligent, laugh-out-loud, and emotionally resonant masterpiece that truly deserves a watch.

10 Margot at the Wedding
©Photo Credit: Paramount Vantage.
Featuring Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Jason Leigh as estranged sisters, this dysfunctional family drama from director Noah Baumbach was one of those movies that split critics. This was largely due to its unlikable characters and overall bleakness.

11 A Scanner Darkly
©Photo Credit: Warner Independent Pictures.
Featuring a star-studded cast including Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jr., and Winona Ryder, this animated sci-fi thriller based on Philip K. Dick’s novel struggled to find mainstream success due to a complex storyline and lack of explanat

6IXSTRINGJACK

Wednesday, May 15, 2024 6:16 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by second:
Quote:
Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:

All of them have failed, but so have a lot of movies in 2024 that probably wouldn't have if we had a good economy.
Failure is normal in Hollywood:

So is success.

But as we've already discussed in other threads, you see everything in black and white and binary code. You only deal in absolutes.

Though this makes it very easy for you to shut off your brain completely and not have to spend any of what precocious little brain power you are capable of harnessing on having thoughts of your own, this also blinds you completely to the benefit of having data at your fingertips and using your own brain to decipher its meaning.

2023's failures were all for one reason and one reason alone. The culmination of all of its prior miscalculations leading up until last year, and then multiplied by shoving a DEI agenda into every single film that was released. All the while convincing themselves that everything they were doing was good and right and what the audience wanted them to do.... Or even worse... Doing it all in spite of what the audience wants them to do. They are, after all, the monopolists of the Truth and they represent the moral authority of the entire world, therefore their logic on any topic of conversation is inarguable.

And..... What was the end result of all that?

Barring when all the theaters were shut down over the common cold in 2020/2021, Hollywood has never had a year that went as badly for them in the history of cinema as last year did. DEI programs all across Hollywood were shut down. Most of the people responsible for the trash they've been putting out were cut loose when they collectively all announced that 2/3rds of the slated upcoming projects they had were put on indefinite hiatus or thrown right into the dumpster. Some of them hadn't even finished partying over the dual union wins and the strike finally ending before they were informed that their services will no longer be required in this town.

And now, 2024's failures could possibly end up being even worse for them than last year was, but it is impossible to blame them on the reasons that lead Disney to their epic 2023 failure.

The reasons in 2024 are much different, and they are three-fold. The first is that the prolonged writer's and actor's strikes left them very empty handed and not much has been released in the 1st half of the year. The second reason is the economy is in the toilet, so people aren't even going out to see good movies in the same numbers that they would have 4 years ago. The third reason is that the pre-Biden* budget levels are no longer an option and until they start cutting costs on the front end, any move they make going forward is high-risk/low-reward.

--------------------------------------------------

Trump will be fine.
He will also be your next President.

SECOND

Wednesday, May 15, 2024 8:23 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:

So is success.

But as we've already discussed in other threads, you see everything in black and white and binary code. You only deal in absolutes.

Though this makes it very easy for you to shut off your brain completely and not have to spend any of what precocious little brain power you are capable of harnessing on having thoughts of your own, this also blinds you completely to the benefit of having data at your fingertips and using your own brain to decipher its meaning.

Hollywood already has a plan to create failure out of success by making the same Ape movie over and over until all the novelty is lost and the Ape movies become guaranteed money losers:

Are the new Planet of the Apes movies going anywhere?

By A.A. Dowd | May 14, 2024, 10:01AM

https://www.digitaltrends.com/movies/planet-of-apes-franchise-no-direc
tion-feature/

The new Apes movies move only forward, with no destination in sight. Kingdom is the clearest proof yet that the architects of the franchise aren’t so much building toward an ending as finding a way to avoid one indefinitely. With the success of Kingdom, they’ve already announced plans for five more sequels. You could say these films are the ultimate realization of Hollywood’s ongoing prequel project: If they don’t reach the planet of the apes proper, they can just keep making movies, always putting the future on the horizon, never meaningfully changing the nature of the material. It’s the origin story that never ends.

Of course, Rise made no guarantee that this new Apes series would reach the same place where the first one started. We may never meet a time-traveling Charlton Heston or a Dr. Zaius. But it would be nice if there was something looming in the distance of the franchise, some conclusion as concrete (and satisfying) as an ancient statue jutting ominously out of the sand.

Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver – the writer-producer duo known for ‘Planet of the Apes,’ – talk about being inspired to make five more ‘Apes.’
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-features/kingdom-of-the
-planet-of-the-apes-sequels-1235892576/

Much more at https://www.digitaltrends.com/movies/planet-of-apes-franchise-no-direc
tion-feature/

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at https://www.mediafire.com/two

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