Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL
Bed and Wine: Part 11
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Our heroes arrive on Bellerophon in time for a Reaver attack. R-ish--this one’s dark, kids. Serenity *spoilers.*
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 4301 RATING: 9.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Bed and Wine: Part 11
By Kaynara
***
Our heroes arrive on Bellerophon in time for a Reaver attack. R-ish--this one’s dark, kids. Serenity *spoilers.*
***
Kaylee sat back against the concrete, hugging her knees to her chest.
“Sheriff ain’t come back yet,” she said quietly. “Been gone an awful long time.”
“That don’t mean nothin',” Mal assured. “Don’t you think too hard on him.”
“They’re all through with the cantina. Looks like they arrived in time for the lunch crowd.” Jayne released the bars, dropped down from the narrow box window. “Common’s awful quiet now.”
Mal paced back and forth behind the sheet of glass separating them from imminent death. He pressed a hand to the wall, imagining how the polycarbonate would stretch and flex, protecting them when the bullets started to fly. They’d try with guns first, then hack at the glass with their axes. He was putting a lot of faith on their preference for raw meat; if they got fed up and torched the place, it was all over.
“Serenity.” He held the transmitter below his mouth. “This is your gorramn captain callin’, somebody pick the hell up.”
“Captain?”
Simon’s voice, surprise edging toward concern. But the two syllables made it clear. Mal knew they hadn’t seen the Reaver ship break atmo. They were still alive. That was something.
Kaylee heard the doctor as well.
“Simon,” she said softly.
He held up a finger, motioning for her to wait.
“Doc, I need you to get Zoe. Then I wanna talk to the both of you.”
“What’s wrong?” he demanded.
“Zoe first. That’s an order, Doctor.”
“Dammit, Mal.” He heard the ‘com clatter to the console followed by the sound of footsteps on metal. The next voice to ring through was Zoe’s, clear and calm and ready for instruction.
“Sir?”
“Zoe, I need you to do something for me. You lock down Serenity and stay hid. No one leaves that boat.”
He heard Kaylee gasp, compelled his tone to be steely, unwavering.
“You hear me, Zoe?”
Silence. Then:
“Reavers, Sir?”
“Small raiding part
Comments
Sunday, 29 January 2006 04:36
*sob* you got me all tearfull, first on almost loosing Simon and second with that last bit with him and Kaylee...
Sunday, 29 January 2006 05:01
gah, nearly had a heart attack when simon got snatched.
*whew*
We're getting closer and closer to somethin 'tween Mal and Inara. At least I hope we are
fantastiko as usual :-P
*whew*
We're getting closer and closer to somethin 'tween Mal and Inara. At least I hope we are
fantastiko as usual :-P
GOODDUCK
Sunday, 29 January 2006 05:07
I have chills! That was so wonderfully scary. You did such a great job with this piece. You have a very nice way of balancing action/horror with humor (so much like Firefly and Serenity). I have long loved how well your write the "sweet stuff;" this section shows you are equally capable with the action.
Poor Simon! I can understand Kaylee's reaction, but what a tough thing to come home to.
I loved this: “No, wait: I’m serious. In all the time you’ve known me, I ever come back from a job dead?”
Poor Simon! I can understand Kaylee's reaction, but what a tough thing to come home to.
I loved this: “No, wait: I’m serious. In all the time you’ve known me, I ever come back from a job dead?”
Sunday, 29 January 2006 05:15
Quite a rollercoaster ride!
I'm really enjoying the series. You have each character down perfectly.
I'm really enjoying the series. You have each character down perfectly.
Sunday, 29 January 2006 05:27
Another excellent chapter. But omg, Kaylee and Simon...*sobs*
Sunday, 29 January 2006 05:30
This was so great! Its just like the show! Everything isn't all shiny between everybody and that's how life is out in the black. I don't mind the dark stuff, cause it can't always be sunny happy times .
If everything was bright and happy, it wouldn't be real.
Love your fic and I am ravenous for more!
If everything was bright and happy, it wouldn't be real.
Love your fic and I am ravenous for more!
Sunday, 29 January 2006 05:31
This may be the best story I've ever read on this site. Each character's voice is distinct, yet you don't clog things up with dumb pseudo-Western spelling. And the Chinese isn't enough to be distracting.
Each chapter truly makes me feel as if I were watching an episode. The fascinating plot twists have me holding my breath for updates, even when I don't like what happens. I was furious and horrified when River left with Gideon.
Even more satisfying is the way your characterizations are so true to the series. I love these people, they aren't just characters to me. The words and actions you write for them are completely believable. You have really made them come alive for me.
Although this story is primarily MalNara-centric, each of the Seven are fully developed. Bravo for keeping each one busy with exciting action and inner conflict. Special praise for this chapter. Your explanation of why Kaylee fell in love with Simon makes more sense to me than anything I've yet read. {Bows reverently}
Now that I've given you a Companion-quality ego massage, may I make a request? More Jayne, please?!! He hasn't had as much to do as Simon or Mal. Jayne's insight about Reavers as he watched them devour the poor Sheriff was magnificent. I adore a thoughtful Jayne.
I hope I detected some hints of Jayne's attraction to River. I badly missed reading his reaction to her return. Next chapter, I hope. I was annoyed that she gave all her attention to Mal & Gideon. Future Rayne romance, Maestro? Just for me (and the myriad Rayne-shippers out there)?? Pretty please?
Each chapter truly makes me feel as if I were watching an episode. The fascinating plot twists have me holding my breath for updates, even when I don't like what happens. I was furious and horrified when River left with Gideon.
Even more satisfying is the way your characterizations are so true to the series. I love these people, they aren't just characters to me. The words and actions you write for them are completely believable. You have really made them come alive for me.
Although this story is primarily MalNara-centric, each of the Seven are fully developed. Bravo for keeping each one busy with exciting action and inner conflict. Special praise for this chapter. Your explanation of why Kaylee fell in love with Simon makes more sense to me than anything I've yet read. {Bows reverently}
Now that I've given you a Companion-quality ego massage, may I make a request? More Jayne, please?!! He hasn't had as much to do as Simon or Mal. Jayne's insight about Reavers as he watched them devour the poor Sheriff was magnificent. I adore a thoughtful Jayne.
I hope I detected some hints of Jayne's attraction to River. I badly missed reading his reaction to her return. Next chapter, I hope. I was annoyed that she gave all her attention to Mal & Gideon. Future Rayne romance, Maestro? Just for me (and the myriad Rayne-shippers out there)?? Pretty please?
ANONYMOUS
Sunday, 29 January 2006 06:35
Omg you had me totally in a trance while reading this! Such a great chapter!! And I absolutely LOVE Zoe....her line about the one reaver...thats so her!!
And I'm loving the Mal and Inara. Poor Inara having to wait, not knowing what would happen. And I cant wait to see them have their date!
And I'm loving the Mal and Inara. Poor Inara having to wait, not knowing what would happen. And I cant wait to see them have their date!
Sunday, 29 January 2006 06:49
Wow, very nice. I gawked when Simon got hit..hoping he wouldn't die!
Then kaylee not liking this new Simon....ohh, don't break them up!
Well done. Anxiously awaiting the next part!
Then kaylee not liking this new Simon....ohh, don't break them up!
Well done. Anxiously awaiting the next part!
GOLDNWLF
Sunday, 29 January 2006 07:12
This was another wonderful update. You truly amazing. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.
I do love Mal and Inara. They are my two favorite characters and you write them perfectly. I can't wait until they finally proclaim their feelings for each other.
I hope Simon and Kaylee can repair all the demage. I like Dr. Tam better than Warrior Simon for sure!
I do hope that River and Gideon can stay on the ship for good now. It will be interesting to see the relationship that develop with them around.
Please keep up the good work and update soon!
I do love Mal and Inara. They are my two favorite characters and you write them perfectly. I can't wait until they finally proclaim their feelings for each other.
I hope Simon and Kaylee can repair all the demage. I like Dr. Tam better than Warrior Simon for sure!
I do hope that River and Gideon can stay on the ship for good now. It will be interesting to see the relationship that develop with them around.
Please keep up the good work and update soon!
ANONYMOUS
Sunday, 29 January 2006 08:20
superkalafragalisticexpialadoshious!
Sunday, 29 January 2006 11:22
Another excellent chapter in one of the best series' on this site.
Particularly loved this line...
"You’re thinkin’ on goin’ after him.”
In truth, she was thinking about slapping him."
Brilliant!
Taya
Particularly loved this line...
"You’re thinkin’ on goin’ after him.”
In truth, she was thinking about slapping him."
Brilliant!
Taya
Sunday, 29 January 2006 11:55
Oh wow, this is all kinds of fabulous, so gorram exciting with lots of emotional content interwoven between the action as well. Loved everybody in this but so sad at Kaylee's comment to Simon at the end. Did she really think Simon could live in the Black, the life they lead, and NOT change? Very unrealistic of her and uncharacteristicaly shallow. I just don't see her treating him that way, Kaylee LOVES Simon. It isn't his shiny image she fell in love with but the man. Adored the way you wrote River but uh oh, didn't like the fact she hadn't told Mal everything. Now I'll be waiting and biting my nails until the other shoe drops. Fantastic writing, kudos to you! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
You can't take the sky from me
Sunday, 29 January 2006 12:49
Zoe's comment about the man Mal is dead on and accurate very well done...
ANONYMOUS
Sunday, 29 January 2006 16:25
Absolutely a riveting story you are writing here! My favorite fics are the ones that deal with all the characters, not just the ones being romantically linked. Your work shows a lovely balance between established characters and folks newly introduced for plot purposes and you have a knack for making them real in the space as well as giving them an individual voice. I can hear the actors speaking these lines, truly. Keep up the good work -- I hope you are having as much fun writing these as I do anticipating and (finally!) reading each chapter! Thank you so much.
FUNKYINFISHNET
Sunday, 29 January 2006 16:51
This was such an intense emotional chapter, I was fair choked up through most of it. Kaylee's end scene with Simon was so heartbreaking but understandable. Yay for River being back, I love her interactions with Mal and of course I adore Mal/Inara. This was a chapter of great exciting darkness, I wasn't sure who was gonna live or die and I can't wait for the next one. Some lightness sounds good :- )
ANONYMOUS
Sunday, 29 January 2006 18:01
Wow, you really swung me on a loop there!
The relationship between Mal and Inara is developing, but it seems to me that it is just bringing more anguish for them both. Wish they could find happiness.
The crew is always going against Mal's orders...maybe poor Mal could save himself a tongue-lashing or two by employing some good old reverse psychology!
The relationship between Mal and Inara is developing, but it seems to me that it is just bringing more anguish for them both. Wish they could find happiness.
The crew is always going against Mal's orders...maybe poor Mal could save himself a tongue-lashing or two by employing some good old reverse psychology!
Sunday, 29 January 2006 19:06
Great chapter! Loved the way you described River's attack on the reavers, without going into specifics, just describing the dance and seeing it through Mal's eyes was perfect.
Loved philosopher Jayne, how is he going to react to River and Gideon (and with Caroline on board). Can't wait to read that!
For some reason I loved this line from Zoe: “I’m gonna bring him back to you, Nara. Gonna bring back Kaylee and the liou mahng doctor. Hell, I might even bring back Jayne.”
Oh, and I think Kaylee's reaction to the changed Simon is right on the mark for this series. They've all changed and she's just not adjusted to it yet. Also, it's more realistic that their relationship is going to have problems (beyond that of Simon putting his foot in his mouth). They've taken on the role that Zoe/Wash had. Did that make sense?
good work, hurry with the next one!
Loved philosopher Jayne, how is he going to react to River and Gideon (and with Caroline on board). Can't wait to read that!
For some reason I loved this line from Zoe: “I’m gonna bring him back to you, Nara. Gonna bring back Kaylee and the liou mahng doctor. Hell, I might even bring back Jayne.”
Oh, and I think Kaylee's reaction to the changed Simon is right on the mark for this series. They've all changed and she's just not adjusted to it yet. Also, it's more realistic that their relationship is going to have problems (beyond that of Simon putting his foot in his mouth). They've taken on the role that Zoe/Wash had. Did that make sense?
good work, hurry with the next one!
Sunday, 29 January 2006 19:22
"In all the time you’ve known me, I ever come back from a job dead?"
Woulda died of laughter if the situation wasn't so dang sad!!
Wonderful Wonderful Wonderful!!!!
Keep it up!!
I can't wait for the next bit!!
Woulda died of laughter if the situation wasn't so dang sad!!
Wonderful Wonderful Wonderful!!!!
Keep it up!!
I can't wait for the next bit!!
Sunday, 29 January 2006 19:35
Hmm....still collatin' data with the new Simon. First impression-wise, it seems unrealistic of Kaylee to not expect Simon to go after her, but I'll think about it some more. This could be interesting.
I love Zoe's insights into Mal. She never says much, but when she does it's always so insightful.
I love Zoe's insights into Mal. She never says much, but when she does it's always so insightful.
Monday, 30 January 2006 00:43
Like Manic Giraffe, I'm still thinking about the Simon-Kaylee thing, but I'll say this, that was actually very IN character for Simon. Remember, little sister is being tortured, and Simon gives up EVERYTHING to rescue her. Furthermore, Mal's promise of protection is of questionable value in Simon's eyes. What did she expect him to do?
That said, what he did was very brave, and cosmicly stupid!!!!!
Maybe I'm being narrow-minded because I've never been been in love, nor have I ever spent the day surrounded by cannibals, but he still attempted a rescue. That combined with getting his sister back should buy him at least a 24 hour grace period!
Speaking of River... Her removal from the ship was superbly handled, from a plot, pacing, and writing perspective. It was one of the best written sacrifice moves I've ever read. There are few things in fiction more powerful than a character surrendering themself to that which they fear most. Her's was a sacrifice driven by love crew, but what made it ever so pongiant was quasi-innocence. On the one hand, here is a young adult, reduced to the level of a high-functioning child through the actions of a government supposedly actiong to protect the innocent. On the other hand, here is this girl-child who has fathomed the concept of self-sacrifice. This situation can also be compared with River's battle in Mr. Univrse's bunker, but the writers distinguish the two acts of sacrifice. Through foreshadowing, Wheadon had suggested that River had at the very least a slim chance of survival, if help could get there in time. Kaynara, by contrast made it clear that there was NO escape, no plan B, no cavalry, only River.
I HATED it. Let me qualify that. You wrote a story where the only way for characters which I as a reader have grown attached to, to survive was to do something I didn't like, and I was actually geting worked up about it.
I'm looking at a rather large collection of fiction that I've actually paid for that didn't get such a reaction out of me.
Sorry, my inner Lit major needed to stretch his legs.
That said, what he did was very brave, and cosmicly stupid!!!!!
Maybe I'm being narrow-minded because I've never been been in love, nor have I ever spent the day surrounded by cannibals, but he still attempted a rescue. That combined with getting his sister back should buy him at least a 24 hour grace period!
Speaking of River... Her removal from the ship was superbly handled, from a plot, pacing, and writing perspective. It was one of the best written sacrifice moves I've ever read. There are few things in fiction more powerful than a character surrendering themself to that which they fear most. Her's was a sacrifice driven by love crew, but what made it ever so pongiant was quasi-innocence. On the one hand, here is a young adult, reduced to the level of a high-functioning child through the actions of a government supposedly actiong to protect the innocent. On the other hand, here is this girl-child who has fathomed the concept of self-sacrifice. This situation can also be compared with River's battle in Mr. Univrse's bunker, but the writers distinguish the two acts of sacrifice. Through foreshadowing, Wheadon had suggested that River had at the very least a slim chance of survival, if help could get there in time. Kaynara, by contrast made it clear that there was NO escape, no plan B, no cavalry, only River.
I HATED it. Let me qualify that. You wrote a story where the only way for characters which I as a reader have grown attached to, to survive was to do something I didn't like, and I was actually geting worked up about it.
I'm looking at a rather large collection of fiction that I've actually paid for that didn't get such a reaction out of me.
Sorry, my inner Lit major needed to stretch his legs.
Monday, 30 January 2006 02:55
Kaynara, that was a great chapter and a surprisingly dark one. I know you warned us in the description but I was still impressed at how far you went (with the siege scene in particular), my favourite part being when Mal takes Jayne's gun off him to give to Kaylee, and how the he and Jayne never gave in to their terror - it seemed very in character for them to keep fighting against all odds of survival. I also loved how Zoe didn;t think twice about following Simon into town, even if it meant risking her own life. Even as a new mother, Zoe is still the couragious warrior woman we know and love. Her asking Inara to take care of Raven was heartbreaking.
As for Simon and Kaylee, you caught me off guard as I didn't expect Kaylee to react that way, but having read the scene where she walks out, I could totally buy it. No matter how many horrific things she witnesses, Kaylee always holds onto her innocence, so it makes sense to me that this new side of Simon would disturb her..
Can I make a request for the next chapter? I'd love a scene between River and Kaylee once River finds out about the marriage - that is if she doesn't already know!! I expect that to be complicated at best, seeing as River's leaving had driven Simon to this darker place. Now she's back, can he accept how this more mature, independant River? And will Kaylee be able to accept this darker, less 'civilised' Simon as her husband? I can't wait to find out!
As for Simon and Kaylee, you caught me off guard as I didn't expect Kaylee to react that way, but having read the scene where she walks out, I could totally buy it. No matter how many horrific things she witnesses, Kaylee always holds onto her innocence, so it makes sense to me that this new side of Simon would disturb her..
Can I make a request for the next chapter? I'd love a scene between River and Kaylee once River finds out about the marriage - that is if she doesn't already know!! I expect that to be complicated at best, seeing as River's leaving had driven Simon to this darker place. Now she's back, can he accept how this more mature, independant River? And will Kaylee be able to accept this darker, less 'civilised' Simon as her husband? I can't wait to find out!
Monday, 30 January 2006 02:59
I just re-read my post and noticed some typing mistakes, but it won't let me edit it!!! Why? Oh well, I'll have to be more carefull next time..
ORANGERAZOR
Monday, 30 January 2006 04:43
Conflict, conflict, conflict!!! Every great story has plenty of it, and this one certainly does. Physical, social and mental conflict just ooze across the screen when I read your stories; they are the basic engaging force of any great story which is why I'm now hooked! Keep it up!
ANONYMOUS
Saturday, 04 February 2006 09:37
This is great i hope you dont stop any time soon
Saturday, 11 February 2006 16:09
"We’re gonna live, ‘cuz no way in hell ‘m I spendin’ eternity with the likes of you.”
i wouldn't mind...*wink*
all the dark made me all teary-eyed, but i loved it 'cause i'm just a sucker for emotional punishment
b
i wouldn't mind...*wink*
all the dark made me all teary-eyed, but i loved it 'cause i'm just a sucker for emotional punishment
b
Post Your Comments
You must log in to post comments.