Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

The Treasure of Lei Fong Wu -- Chapter Thirty-Six

Monday, November 14, 2005

Mal and Inara play dress up, and everyone stretches their legs back on Salisbury.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 4440    RATING: 10.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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The Treasure of Lei Fong Wu

Chapter Thirty Six

Serenity departed Tsang Chow station six days after it arrived, fully fueled and provisioned. The House of Lei came aboard again, along with the eleven soldiers who had arrived with them – plus five more hand-picked by the General – along with Colonel Campbell.

Despite the extra people, things were a little more comfortable now. The General had plenty of supplies loaded, temporary cots installed, and added some other amenities that made the trip bearable. The men quickly turned to and organized themselves with accustomed efficiency, joined, of course, by Johnny, whose Princely status had not kept his uncles from insisting that he remain a recruit private for all practical considerations. The army camp was back, and better than before.

One of the items on the deck was a factory sealed crate containing several kilos of high-grade transnuclear derivatives: a commodity that always had a market. It was where Mal had sank his mastodon-penis profits. Kaylee had likewise invested in some ansible-quality derivative, which she boldly labeled, along with a pretty sign that told Jayne, explicitly, not to eat it.

Wash and Zoe were arguing – not an uncommon occurrence on Serenity, but almost always uncomfortable. While they had technically “made up” there were still issues that forced them to retire to their bunk upon occasion – and not for the usual reasons. Jayne paid Kaylee five thousand for his gluttony, with a promise of two more soon. She was mollified, but continued to use his indiscretion to her advantage.

It had been decided that a return to Lincoln City might not be the smartest move, considering the way they had left it; it was Mal’s experience that local constables were unlikely to welcome back a ship that had left most recently in a hail of bullets. The General waved ahead and had an alternate landing site prepared, with plenty of fuel and supplies pre-positioned. After that, the itinerary went from Salisbury to Hamlet to Athens, where they w

Comments
Monday, 14 November 2005 07:52
Very curious what tune River was playing.
Monday, 14 November 2005 10:51
Oh, gorgeous! The giggles never ended.

First I enjoyed the hell out of Mal and Inara's fencing! FINALLY she wastheone to leaving him standing, all baffled! You are going to a special hell for double-meanings. ;)

My favorite bit:

"'Oh, the gun!' he said finally. 'Well, as this is an official clandestine smuggler's rendezvous, I thought it appropriate. Doesn't pay to underdress for this sort of affair.'

'The society pages will be all aflutter,' Mal mocked."

Beautiful.


And then another beautiful crew scene with everyone talking at once. Kaylee, in particular. I believe this is a sort of self-hypnosis?


Anyway, this is a great part! VERY entertaining. *g*
Monday, 14 November 2005 11:22
Some superb conversations there, as ever. Especially the big overlapping one. Fun!

And yes, what song was in your mind when you were writing River's dancing harmonica moment?
Monday, 14 November 2005 12:38
very pretty.
gotta agree with the others though; don't need to know the exact melody, rather i didn't actually, since i'm sure river is improvising.

but i loved that scene with the crew and river. i think you should have spent a little more time describing the mood and environment, the dance and the song.

not that i'm one for long scenery descriptions, but that one there deserved more.

i liked how you used everyone looking up at river as sorta a break between scenes. you could'a made that break a bit longer. drawn it out, painting the picture in our minds.

you did a very shiny job as is though. that everyone is asking for the tune is evidence that they all had the scene pictured perfect, but missed the piece that was the music.

anyway, love your stuff, keep on writing.
Monday, 14 November 2005 13:07
Heh.

I appreciate the comments, folks! It's interesting that everyone is curious about River's song. I debated describing it, and may do so a little in the re-write, but I originally envisioned her improvising something that was a cross between Scottish and Chinese folk-music -- kind of a lively dirge, or something equally contradictory. In the end I chose not to, hoping to let the reader build the scene in their mind, on the theory that the more left to the reader, the more intriguing the scene.

I guess it worked!

StA
Monday, 14 November 2005 14:54
See, this is an example on how you're a better writer than me. Unlike you cna Joss, I couldn't write a song if my life depended on it. I'm more along the lines of Cameron Crowe in just taking pre-existing songs and creating my own soundtrack.

Keep up the good work.
Monday, 14 November 2005 16:51
“I forgot – you’re the Ass Master, now,” Wash said, then broke into a fit of giggles.

“Hey! That’s a...a religious thing!” he protested. “It has to do with my P’u."

me? laugh at jayne? never...

also, i kinda expected wash to say something about jayne knowing the word paleontology (sp?)...but it's all good

b

"you'd have an easier time buying one of his testicles"
BWAH!!!
Monday, 14 November 2005 16:55
Ai ya! I really meant to put that in there. Imagine Jayne mumbling something about having read it in a comic book. It'll be in the rewrite.

C'mon, Screw, keep it together!
Monday, 14 November 2005 17:30
Jayne has a religious ass? Well what do you know? Kaylee's preoccupation with upgrading and outfitting Serenity was lovely and everyone was really well drawn. Inara got all the best jabs in to Mal, her tongue is definitely sharper than her shiny sword. As for the treasure, I just hope our Big Damn Heroes don't end up paying for it rather than sharing the spoils. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 15 November 2005 05:04
Liked your scene under the tree. Very complex. Specially like scenes that portray River and her view of the Verse. Realized that some music I got off a used computer, October Project's "Take Me As I Am", is very evocative of my impression of River.
ANONYMOUS
Thursday, 17 November 2005 03:43
You, sir, are a god.
Seriously. I started reading "Kaylee's Lament" because I had some time to kill and ended up going through everything in thirty-six hours.
This is how I felt when I first started watching Firefly.
Keep it up!

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