A/N: WORK IN PROGRESS!!! takes place before out BDM, and this first part is only Mal/Inara angst fluff kinda stuff... it was a sort of sceen i just could not get out of my brain so this happend, and i have a plot that could add some substance and is not totaly around these two character later. so yeah this is my First try at posting somthing and if you guys even kinda like it i will post again. Oh yeah one last thing constructive critisism is more then just welcome! i will read it and put it to good use.
Thank yous: to my beta Seas who has not even watched the show but still stuck around to edit my bad grammer and spelling! and to the shows creators whom you all know for the sort of electic vibes between mal and inara that would not let me sleep till i sat my ars down and wrote about it.
Diclaimer thingly: the show firefly and its characters are not mine, they belong to some rich guys and gals in expensive suits.
Mal sat at the edge of the red sofa, the lights were dim and the air warm. He could feel a vibration through his feet, meaning that the loud music from the party on the first floor was still going. He had tried keeping his mind on that vibration as his lap was straddled by a complete stranger, his ‘contact’. That's when he heard the door silently creak open. In the dim light he saw at first a small figure that he could only make out as a woman. Then just as he was about to get up and wrestle the intruder to the floor he noticed it was Inara. Now this was all sorts of "uncomfortable" for him! He was in the middle of being devoured by a complete stranger, then Inara walks in! As if he needed this situation to become more awkward! He could not help himself, he stood up quickly, practically dropping the woman in his lap to the floor, he had the look on his face of a man who had just been caught being unfaithful. "What the hell! You gorram pig!" said the woman on the floor who was quickly getting up, looking like she wanted to spit at him. ‘Maybe she did not see Inara’ Mal thoug
OldSoul1987....this is some good initial fanfic! My only major comment is break up your dialogue and descriptions more thouroughly, because the last paragraph really should have been several.
You can't take the sky from me
b
ok umm yes i have to fix well alot of things... the number one thing was the fact i did not name one of my other betas 'WorthFighting4' who read it the first time and told me to post it here once my other beta 'seas' fixed it a bit. I know i am a dope for not posting this right the first time but i am new so i am alowed a mistake or two ...or more... heh so yeah next tome i will make it clearer so that you can read it better.
ok on to the next thing hello 'Amdobell' I have seen you post in several other stories and hoped you would read this one! ::noticeses she is geeking out and trys to compose herself::.. righ so yes you are. that was most definitly not 45min worth of smooching, my mistake! I ment it for 45 minutes worth but it kinda hard for me for several reasons
1) I have never kissed so i have no clue how to write it i just guessed.
2) i am new at writing so i got kinda shy to write the who 45 minutes worth of it. but now that i got some of you all reading i am not going to shy away from it.
3)well incase the other 2 reasons were not enough, it is because dear i am 17, and my gardians look through my computer sometimes and i was kinda shy to have them find a long and umm 'interesting' make out sceen saved on my computer. but i fixed that so it no prob. now!
now as for the two characters i think you guys might like my next post i just have to figure out how to work this site beter. i will probibly have a new post by friday or next monday.
ok well guys thank you all for reading! I will try to do better next time, ok well bye!
speak softly and carry a big stick
-T.R.
Post Your Comments
You must log in to post comments.