Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Laundry

Friday, February 24, 2006

Its M/I
Its a one shot but it could be more
Its unedited
Its kinda funny
Its Author is sleep deprived as she post it
Its about Laundry and i hope you all like it, if any one likes it enough where they ask for seconds i guess you all should know i am looking for a beta

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3206    RATING: 7.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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"So you thought it would be OK to just toss your stuff in even though the machine was in use?"

Inara was not screaming or yelling or lecturing. No infact she sounded like she was just honest to god haveing a hard time understanding Mal's logic. And perhaps some what uncomftrable, and young... This almost never happend to her, there were rules in the world common respects and such that prevented her from ever haveing to, till now.

"No i checked who was use'n it first, hell would'nt want my draws mixed in with Jayne's draw, or hell with anything of his for that matter."

"So you checked the machine saw my personal... You saw my clothe. And you then desided to throw your things in with mine."

"Your acting like i just used your tooth bruch or somethi'n. Don't worry none of my things were bloody or nothing, just im meed of a good wash."

"No, no. It's not. It's fine, it's just my personal garmets and things are... It's just my things are kinda personal, they are my things and i am not used to sharing something so...Personal."

"Its just laundry, but i did not meant to make you feel uncomfy so i'll just be take'n mine and go."

They both made a move twards the drying machine, mal opened it as inara put a baskit on the floor next to the little opening. They both worked emptying out the machine into the baskit. Inara was close to blushing when Mal pulled out a very hot bra burning himself in the prosses on the little mettal clips.

"Oh Gosse! Those things are dangerous!"

At soon as the words left his mouth Inara burst out laughing. She reached for his had to look at it still laughing. Her eyes kinda watery from how funny she found the situation, but still on her face there was room to show genuine concern.

"Here let me see, oh its hardly anything at all you big baby."

"Hardly anyth- That burt like hell. Look i think its gonna leave a scar!"

Inara finding Mals behavior evern funnyer let out another laugh as she examined his hand closer. Mal watched her as he pretended to act extra wounded,

Comments
Friday, 24 February 2006 12:27
Crap sorry guys i REALLY need a beta!
Friday, 24 February 2006 12:44
Well yeah, but it was still fun. I like the dangerous bra!
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 24 February 2006 15:11
I still think you should hang out with Dan Webster more, it will REALLY improve your story read-ability.

Sorry, just an erudite childhood coming through!!

Good story though... Keep it up!!
Friday, 24 February 2006 20:38
I thought this was a good story....though I have to agree about the beta-reading thing. If ya need one, I would be happy to throw my hat into the ring....when you get a ring and I get a hat, that is :)

And...it could be part of a bigger thing...right? Or even a prologue to another set of stories?

BEB
Friday, 24 February 2006 21:23
I like that it's Mal and Inara and there were some good lines in here but the spelling needs some work. Needing a beta I can understand but most of this would have been fixed with spell check, it's more than a little distracting.

Still, good concept might be nice to see it reposted after some editing. I'm always happy to proof-read or even just check spelling/grammar. Just send it my way silvered.dagger@gmail.com I'm never away from my inbox for more than a few hours.
Friday, 24 February 2006 22:55
OS1987,

You can send any stuff needing a beta reader to either of the following:

1) z_wing@hotmail.com

OR

2) general_iblis@yahoo.ca

BEB
2X2
Friday, 24 February 2006 23:24
That was fun... I liked it. Hey, the more Mal/Inara the better in my books ;o)

There's the spelling issues that others have pointed out, and some tense problems here and there, but the story itself is good...

I too will throw in for the Beta-ing, just to make it even harder for you to choose :oP Send me an email anytime at browncoat.2x2@gmail.com

ANONYMOUS
Saturday, 25 February 2006 01:18
Heh. even though it needs editing and spellchecking, I see the beginnings of an awesome fic here. I especially like how neatly the discussion turns from an argument about laundry into an argument about what's REALLY bothering them. Maybe a multi-chapter? Sequel, sequel!!
Wednesday, 05 April 2006 14:28
"While the 'scar' is gruesome, I am sure you will life to fight the evil bra monster another day, Mal."

heehee, maybe mal should demand a rematch...while inara's still wearing it. ugh, my mind is in the gutter...again.

b
Wednesday, 09 May 2007 06:24
"While the 'Scar' is grusome, i am sure you will life to fight the evil bra monster another day Mal."

*falls out of chair into a pile of laughter* Somehow, that line is very fitting!

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